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Chicago Page #6
The lady
rakin' in the chips
ls gonna be Ro xie
l'm gonna be a celebrity
That means
somebody everyone knows
They're gonna recognize
my eyes
My hair, my teeth,
my b*obs, my nose
From just some
dumb mechanic's wife
l'm gonna be Ro xie
Who says that murder's
not an art?
And who,
in case she doesn't hang
Can say she started
with a bang?
Ro xie Hart
Boys
They're gonna wait outside
in line
To get to see
- Ro xie
- Ro xie
Think of those autographs
l'll sign
''Good luck to you''
Ro xie
And l'll appear
in a lavaliere
That goes all the way
down to my waist
Here a ring, there a ring,
everywhere a ring-a-ling
But always
in the best of taste
I'm a star.
and I Iove them .
And they Iove me
for Ioving them .
And I Iove them for Ioving me.
And we Iove each other.
And that's 'cause none of us got
enough Iove in our chiIdhoods.
And that's show biz. . .
. . .kid .
She's givin' up
her humdrum life
- l'm gonna be -- Sing it
- Ro xie
She made a scandal
and a start
And Sophie Tucker
will sh*t, l know
To see her name
get billed below
Ro xie Hart
I can't take it anymore.
You can't go anywhere without
hearing about that dumb tomato!
Oh , no, Mama, not you , too.
I have some bad news.
The tour has been canceIed .
What?
Your name's been
out of the papers too Iong .
AII you read about today
is that Hart kid .
She's hot.
And what am I
supposed to do, huh?
Suck up to her
Iike everybody eIse?
It couIdn't hurt.
Over my dead body.
Mind if I join you?
MAN :
Lights out. 1 0 minutes.
Smoke?
Look what
some Johnny sent me.
TripIe-cream carameIs
aII the way from San Francisco.
I'm watching my figure.
You know, the triaI .
in the Trib today, huh?
You know,
there have been so many.
I just can't keep track.
Did I teII you , you are exactIy
the same size as my sister?
You'd fit into her costumes
perfectIy.
ReaIIy?
Yeah . I was thinking
with aII the pubIicity
and when BiIIy gets us off,
we'd be a naturaI
to do an act together.
You think so, huh?
BANDLEADER:
Ladies and gentIemen . . .
Miss VeIma KeIIy
in an act of desperation .
My sister and l had an act
that couldn't flop
My sister and l were headed
straight for the top
My sister and l earned
a thou a week at least
Oh, yeah
But my sister
is now unfortunately deceased
l know it's sad, of course
But a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains
is the remains
Of a perfect
Double
Act
Watch this.
You have to imagine it
with two peopIe.
It's sweII with two peopIe.
First l'd
Then she'd
Then we'd
But l can't do it alone
Then she'd
Then l'd
Then we'd
But l can't do it alone
She'd say,
''What's your sister like?''
l'd say, ''Men''
She'd say,
''You're the cat's meow''
Then we'd
wow the crowd again
When she'd go
l'd go
We'd go
started to roar
Whistled, stomped,
stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming,
begging for more
And we'd say, ''Okay, fellas,
keep your socks up
'Cause you ain't seen
nothin' yet''
Alone
So, what do you think, huh?
Come on , you can say.
I know. You're right.
The first part's sh*t.
But the second part. . .
is reaIIy nifty.
Okay.
She'd go
l'd go
We'd go
And then those two-bit
Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction
in town
They nearly tore
the balcony down
And we'd say, ''Okay, boys,
we're going home
But before we go, here's
a few more partin' shots''
And this we did
in perfect unison
Now you've seen me
going through it
You may think
there's nothing to it
Alone
So, where was the part
where you bIew her brains out?
Okay, Roxie,
I'II IeveI with you .
Oh , no, no, no.
Don't bother.
You're aII washed up,
and it's me they want now.
And I'm a big star.
SingIe.
Oh , I aImost forgot.
You were in the paper
today, too. . .
in the back,
with the obituaries.
''VeIma KeIIy's triaI has been
postponed indefiniteIy.''
Seven words. Wow.
Oh . Here's a IittIe piece
of advice.
Direct from me to you .
Lay off the carameIs.
BANDLEADER:
And now, for aII youChicago stay-up-Iaters.
You night owIs who onIy
We dedicate this tune.
''Chicago After Midnight.''
BILLY:
This aII took pIaceon Lakeshore Drive.
IncredibIe. IncredibIe.
AII right. Yeah .
Thanks, Tom .
They just arrested this woman
for a tripIe homicide.
ReaIIy?
Get this.
She's an heiress.
What?
AII the famiIy's in . . .
pineappIes, grapefruits,
some kind of fruit.
So anyhow, this dame,
Kitty what's-her-name. . .
she's pIaying house
on the North Side
in an apartment
with a guy named Harry.
What Harry does for a Iiving ,
no one's quite sure,
but it doesn't matter
because she's footing the biIIs.
Anyhow,
Kitty comes home tonight.
Harry's in bed ,
which is par for the course.
She goes to change.
When she returns, she notices
something rather odd .
ExtremeIy odd .
Kitty disappears for a second .
CooI as a cucumber.
When she returns,
[ Laughter ]
Harry says, ''What? I'm aIone.''
She says, ''AIone?
You got two other women
in bed with you .''
So, get this.
Harry says, ''Come on , doII .
You gonna beIieve what you see
or what I teII you?''
[ Laughter ]
Good night, foIks.
Give us the Iine!
Give us the Iine!
Miss Sunshine.
From the Evening Star.
I wonder if you wouIdn't mind
saying a word or two?
Sure, I'II say three.
Go to heII !
PIease direct your questions
to her counseI .
You're not my counseI ,
and I want my money back.
It's not your money.
It's your mother's money.
MARY SUNSHINE :
Are you sorry, dear?
Sure, I'm sorry.
Sorry I got caught.
-Oh , Miss Sunshine?
-Not now, Roxie.
I got a Ietter from a guy.
He says he's going on a hunger
That's nice, dear.
Miss Baxter?
Did you know
these two Iadies personaIIy?
Did I know these two Iadies?
Was that your question?
Yeah , that's my --
She's very high-spirited ,
isn't she?
Miss Baxter?
Oh , hey, Mr. FIynn !
Mr. FIynn !
-Yeah , hi , Trixie.
-It's Roxie.
Yeah , sure,
I was just kidding .
Did you get my triaI date yet?
Listen , kid . . .
I'm at the top
of your Iist, right?
Go to heII !
Boy, what a heIIion , huh?
She's a sociaIite, too.
Her mother owns
aII the pineappIes in Hawaii .
What the heII do I care
about pineappIes?
-AII right.
-Listen !
Miss Baxter wiII answer
aII of your questions.
Afterwards, I'II be happy to
give you an interview myseIf.
VELMA:
How's it feeI , kid?
J . Edgar Hoover couIdn't find
your name in the papers.
Mr. FIynn !
BILLY:
Someone open this doorimmediateIy!
MARY SUNSHINE :
Oh , my God !Roxie! What is it, dear?
Oh ! Oh , no.
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"Chicago" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/chicago_5426>.
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