Chicago Page #7

Oh , I onIy hope

the faII didn't hurt the baby.

Baby?

Sh*t!

Roxie, when did

this happen , darIing?

WeII , Doc,

is she or isn't she?

She is.

WouId you swear

to that statement in court?

Yes.

Good .

Button your fIy.

I wouId just Iike to

say that. . .

my own Iife

doesn't matter now. . .

just that of my unborn chiId .

You poor dear, to have

your baby born in jaiI .

My readers won't stand for it.

I can assure you

that won't happen .

She'II come to triaI

at the earIiest moment.

I think it's sweet.

First time we ever had

one of our girIs knocked up.

When is the baby due, Roxie?

I just heard the good news.

I'm the father!

I'm the father!

Roxie, who's the father?

That question

is compIeteIy out of Iine.

How dare you insuIt

this brave, young woman .

That's enough .

Roxie, honey!

It's me! Daddy!

It's Daddy!

Roxie, I came

as soon as I couId !

lf someone stood up

in a crowd

And raised his voice up

way out loud

And waved his arm

and shook his leg

You'd notice him

lf someone in the movie show

Yelled,

''Fire in the second row!

This whole place

is a powder keg!''

You'd notice him

And even without clucking

like a hen

Everyone gets noticed

now and then

Unless, of course,

that personage should be

lnvisible

lnconsequential

Me

Cellophane

Mister Cellophane

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophane

'Cause you can look

right through me

Walk right by me

And never know l'm there

l tell ya

Cellophane

Mister Cellophane

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophane

'Cause you can look

right through me

Walk right by me

And never know l'm there

Oh . I didn't see you .

Sit down . Sit down .

Look, Andy, I'm afraid

I got to hit you hard .

And I can onIy hope

that you'II be big about it.

Amos. My name is Amos.

Who said it wasn't?

Oh , it was the kid's name

I was thinking about, yeah .

You know when she's due?

September.

Oh , but pass out

those cigars, anyway.

I don't want you

to give a damn when peopIe. . .

PeopIe what?

Laugh .

Laugh?

Why wouId they Iaugh?

'Cause they can count.

Can you count?

September.

Here's a copy

of Roxie's first statement

from the D.A.'s office.

It says she hadn't copuIated

with you

for four months

prior to the incident.

WeII , she wouId know.

Yeah , I guess we hadn't done

no copuIating since. . .

Wait a minute.

That don't figure out right.

I couIdn't be the father.

Forget about that now.

My cIient needs your support.

You mean she needs

a meaI ticket.

That's aII I ever been .

This time she's gone too far.

What are you gonna do?

Divorce her?

You're damn right!

I'II divorce her!

She probabIy won't even notice.

[ Intercom buzzes ]

Yeah?

Yeah , put him through .

A human being's made

of more than air

With all that bulk,

you're bound to see him there

Unless that human being

next to you

ls unimpressive

Undistinguished

You

Know

Who

You stiII here, Andy?

Yeah , I'm stiII here.

I think.

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophane

'Cause you can look

right through me

Walk right by me

And never know l'm there

l tell ya

Cellophane

Mister Cellophane

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophane

'Cause you can look

right through me

Walk right by me

And never know l'm there

Never even

Know

l'm there

I hope I didn't take up

too much of your time.

I've been waiting 1 0 minutes.

Don't do that again .

This dress makes me Iook Iike

a WooIworth's Iampshade.

I'm not wearing this.

You're wearing it

because I teII you to wear it.

When Andy's on the stand ,

I want you to be knitting .

Knitting?

Oh , for Christ sakes.

-A baby garment.

-I don't know how to knit!

Then Iearn .

That is no way

to win a jury's sympathy.

Oh , you don't need advice

anymore.

Lookit here, Mr. Mouthpiece. . .

it seems to me

that I am the one

who's coming up

with the good ideas.

I am sick of everybody

teIIing me what to do.

You treat me Iike dirt.

You treat me Iike I'm some

dumb common criminaI .

But you are.

WeII , it's better than being

a greasy Mick Iawyer.

Who happens to be

saving your ass!

Who's out for aII he can steaI !

Maybe you'd Iike

to appear in court without me.

WeII , maybe I couId .

Have you read

the morning papers?

They Iove me!

Wise up! They'd Iove you

a Iot more if you were hanged .

You know why?

'Cause they'd seII more papers.

You're fired .

I quit.

Any Iawyer in this town

wouId die to have my case.

You are a phony ceIebrity.

You're a fIash in the pan .

In a coupIe of weeks, no one's

gonna give a sh*t about you .

That's Chicago.

What happened?

It's the Hunyak.

She Iost her Iast appeaI .

So what's that mean?

WeII , that means that next week,

she's gonna. . .

This is Mary Sunshine coming to

you from the Cook County JaiI . . .

where history

wiII be made today.

KataIin HeIinski

wiII become the first woman

in the state of IIIinois

to be executed .

And so, Iadies and gentIemen . . .

And now,

Iadies and gentIemen . . .

for your pIeasure

and your entertainment. . .

we proudIy present

KataIin HeIinski

and her famous

Hungarian disappearing act.

You know,

it's reaIIy not that bad .

You cIear about everything

we agreed on?

Yep. I've been up aII night

rehearsing .

What do you do when Harrison

starts coming after you?

I sit stiII

and Iook straight ahead . . .

never at the jury.

-And?

-And I Iook modest.

-And?

-And . . .

-And say nothing .

-That's right.

-That was the deaI , right?

-Right.

You asked me back.

I do aII the taIking this time.

AbsoIuteIy, BiIIy.

Whatever you say.

Mr. FIynn .

His Honor's here.

Thank you .

You ready?

Yeah .

I'm scared .

Ah , don't be.

I've been around a Iong time.

BeIieve me. You got

nothing to worry about.

It's aII a circus.

A three-ring circus.

These triaIs, the whoIe worId .

It's aII show business.

But, kid . . .

You're working with a star.

Give 'em

the old razzle dazzle

Razzle dazzle 'em

Give 'em an act

with lots of flash in it

And the reaction

will be passionate

Give 'em

the old hocus pocus

Bead and feather 'em

How can they see

with sequins in their eyes?

What if your hinges

all are rusting?

What if, in fact,

you're just disgusting?

Razzle dazzle 'em

And they'll never catch wise

Give 'em

the old razzle dazzle

Razzle dazzle 'em

Give 'em a show

that's so splendiferous

Row after row

will grow vociferous

Give 'em

the old flimflam flummo x

Fool and fracture 'em

How can they hear the truth

above the roar?

Throw 'em a fake

and a finagle

They'll never know

you're just a bagel

Razzle dazzle 'em

And they'll beg you for more

-I object!

-Sustained .

Your Honor, I haven't even

asked the question yet.

Give 'em

the old double whammy

Daze and dizzy 'em

Back since the days

of old Methuselah

Everyone loves

the big bamboozler

Give 'em

the old three-ring circus

Stun and stagger 'em

When you're in trouble,

go into your dance

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