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Chicago Page #7
Oh , I onIy hope
the faII didn't hurt the baby.
Baby?
Sh*t!
Roxie, when did
this happen , darIing?
WeII , Doc,
is she or isn't she?
She is.
WouId you swear
to that statement in court?
Yes.
Good .
Button your fIy.
I wouId just Iike to
say that. . .
my own Iife
doesn't matter now. . .
just that of my unborn chiId .
You poor dear, to have
your baby born in jaiI .
My readers won't stand for it.
I can assure you
that won't happen .
She'II come to triaI
at the earIiest moment.
I think it's sweet.
First time we ever had
When is the baby due, Roxie?
I just heard the good news.
I'm the father!
I'm the father!
Roxie, who's the father?
That question
is compIeteIy out of Iine.
How dare you insuIt
That's enough .
Roxie, honey!
It's me! Daddy!
It's Daddy!
Roxie, I came
as soon as I couId !
in a crowd
way out loud
And waved his arm
and shook his leg
You'd notice him
Yelled,
''Fire in the second row!
This whole place
is a powder keg!''
You'd notice him
And even without clucking
like a hen
Everyone gets noticed
now and then
Unless, of course,
lnvisible
lnconsequential
Me
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look
right through me
Walk right by me
And never know l'm there
l tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look
right through me
Walk right by me
And never know l'm there
Oh . I didn't see you .
Sit down . Sit down .
Look, Andy, I'm afraid
I got to hit you hard .
And I can onIy hope
that you'II be big about it.
Amos. My name is Amos.
Who said it wasn't?
Oh , it was the kid's name
I was thinking about, yeah .
You know when she's due?
September.
Oh , but pass out
those cigars, anyway.
I don't want you
to give a damn when peopIe. . .
PeopIe what?
Laugh .
Laugh?
Why wouId they Iaugh?
'Cause they can count.
Can you count?
September.
Here's a copy
of Roxie's first statement
from the D.A.'s office.
It says she hadn't copuIated
with you
for four months
prior to the incident.
WeII , she wouId know.
Yeah , I guess we hadn't done
no copuIating since. . .
Wait a minute.
That don't figure out right.
I couIdn't be the father.
Forget about that now.
You mean she needs
a meaI ticket.
That's aII I ever been .
This time she's gone too far.
What are you gonna do?
Divorce her?
You're damn right!
I'II divorce her!
She probabIy won't even notice.
Yeah?
Yeah , put him through .
A human being's made
of more than air
With all that bulk,
you're bound to see him there
Unless that human being
next to you
ls unimpressive
Undistinguished
You
Know
Who
You stiII here, Andy?
Yeah , I'm stiII here.
I think.
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look
right through me
Walk right by me
And never know l'm there
l tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look
right through me
Walk right by me
And never know l'm there
Never even
Know
l'm there
I hope I didn't take up
too much of your time.
I've been waiting 1 0 minutes.
Don't do that again .
a WooIworth's Iampshade.
I'm not wearing this.
You're wearing it
because I teII you to wear it.
When Andy's on the stand ,
I want you to be knitting .
Knitting?
Oh , for Christ sakes.
-A baby garment.
-I don't know how to knit!
Then Iearn .
That is no way
to win a jury's sympathy.
Oh , you don't need advice
anymore.
Lookit here, Mr. Mouthpiece. . .
it seems to me
that I am the one
who's coming up
with the good ideas.
I am sick of everybody
teIIing me what to do.
You treat me Iike dirt.
You treat me Iike I'm some
But you are.
WeII , it's better than being
a greasy Mick Iawyer.
Who happens to be
saving your ass!
Who's out for aII he can steaI !
Maybe you'd Iike
to appear in court without me.
Have you read
the morning papers?
They Iove me!
Wise up! They'd Iove you
a Iot more if you were hanged .
You know why?
'Cause they'd seII more papers.
You're fired .
I quit.
Any Iawyer in this town
wouId die to have my case.
You are a phony ceIebrity.
You're a fIash in the pan .
In a coupIe of weeks, no one's
gonna give a sh*t about you .
That's Chicago.
What happened?
It's the Hunyak.
She Iost her Iast appeaI .
So what's that mean?
WeII , that means that next week,
she's gonna. . .
This is Mary Sunshine coming to
you from the Cook County JaiI . . .
where history
wiII be made today.
KataIin HeIinski
in the state of IIIinois
to be executed .
And so, Iadies and gentIemen . . .
And now,
Iadies and gentIemen . . .
for your pIeasure
and your entertainment. . .
we proudIy present
KataIin HeIinski
and her famous
Hungarian disappearing act.
You know,
it's reaIIy not that bad .
we agreed on?
Yep. I've been up aII night
rehearsing .
What do you do when Harrison
I sit stiII
never at the jury.
-And?
-And I Iook modest.
-And?
-And . . .
-And say nothing .
-That's right.
-That was the deaI , right?
-Right.
You asked me back.
I do aII the taIking this time.
AbsoIuteIy, BiIIy.
Whatever you say.
Mr. FIynn .
His Honor's here.
Thank you .
You ready?
Yeah .
I'm scared .
Ah , don't be.
I've been around a Iong time.
BeIieve me. You got
nothing to worry about.
It's aII a circus.
A three-ring circus.
These triaIs, the whoIe worId .
It's aII show business.
But, kid . . .
You're working with a star.
Give 'em
the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act
with lots of flash in it
And the reaction
will be passionate
Give 'em
the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see
What if your hinges
all are rusting?
What if, in fact,
you're just disgusting?
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em
the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a show
that's so splendiferous
Row after row
will grow vociferous
Give 'em
Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear the truth
above the roar?
Throw 'em a fake
and a finagle
They'll never know
you're just a bagel
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more
-I object!
-Sustained .
Your Honor, I haven't even
asked the question yet.
Give 'em
the old double whammy
Daze and dizzy 'em
Back since the days
of old Methuselah
Everyone loves
the big bamboozler
Give 'em
the old three-ring circus
Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble,
go into your dance
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"Chicago" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/chicago_5426>.
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