Chicken

1

[soft music playing]

[birds tweeting]

Ah, the poor pig.

Pretty pork.

No! I dropped my bounce.

- Boy!

- My bounce.

[soft music continues playing]

Little hen!

Hiya.

Rich picks, Fiona.

Aw! You look nice.

Have you done anything?

Come here.

Let me see... if you did.

Check the thing.

Fiona!

[alarm ringing]

[alarm stops]

[whispers] Polly.

Polly, there's breakfast

if you want it.

[Polly] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[exhales]

[spits]

There's nothing to say, then?

- Dunno.

- We're just forgetting, then?

Yeah, I... I suppose.

P*ssy!

[Richard] Is that the last?

You been on these?

No!

No!

No, I don't...

I don't go in there, Polly.

[groans] Right.

[Richard] Polly!

Um... What time are

you going to be back?

[soft music playing]

[Richard] All right,

this one's Polly...

because it looks like Polly.

And this one...

this one is me...

because I'm harmless, ain't I?

And that's it.

[horn honking]

All right?

[indistinct chatter]

[man] Don't stop!

[Polly] Is that it?

[man] That's all

I can do this week. Sorry.

Come back next week if you like.

Your choice.

[coins rattle]

[Richard]

Basically, with cooking,

you don't necessarily have to be

like, a proper chef...

because, do you know,

all you really have

to do is just...

just make sure you're clean,

so just never

touch your body ever,

because if you were to touch

your body,

I think that

it might make it dirty,

and then, unless it's like that,

like, real dirt,

I just...

It shouldn't be on clothes,

and it shouldn't be

put onto food

because that just makes it...

Just, it's a bit clumsy, really.

Do you know what I mean?

Once I was

watching this program,

and this lady was making a pizza

and instead of putting meat

on it, she put vegetables.

- [dog barks]

- [Polly groans]

[barman] Oi! Oi! A word!

- [dog barking]

- All right, I'm going!

F***ing dog!

[barking continues]

I know you.

Yeah, I recognize you.

Oh, yeah?

You come in here every night.

[Polly] Have we ever...

[Tara] What?

[Polly chuckles]

[chuckles] Have we...

Have we ever, you know?

[scoffs] Oh, my God.

I think we should.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

It would be nice.

[Tara scoffs]

F*** you!

It'd be nice, though, eh? Eh?

F*** off!

Do me a favor, love.

Will you fill this up for me?

I'm skint. Please.

Get lost.

[spits]

[Polly singing]

Nine German bombers

Nine German bombers

in the sky

Hey!

Hey, little man.

Hey! Wake up for me!

Hey!

[Polly groans and coughs]

[Polly groans]

[Polly sings indistinctly]

[alarm ringing]

[alarm stops]

Polly, I've got your breakfast,

if you want to come

and get your breakfast.

- Ah, f*** off!

- Polly!

[groans]

I'll be back soon.

Yeah, well, that's the thing.

When I talk to Polly,

he's always, always saying no!

And I just don't even

understand

because if I say

I want an animal,

I don't understand

why I can't have an animal,

because I live here too.

I've already got one, and yes,

you're very, very beautiful,

but at the same time,

it would be nice

if I could have more animals.

At the same time, I don't really

have enough time for animals,

and I know that, because

I'm so busy with my own life,

and I've got so much to do

that it drives me crazy.

And I don't think Polly really...

[vehicles approaching]

[TV playing in background]

You see 'em, you know 'em?

Yeah, no. No, I don't know them,

but, um...

[Polly] Ah, f*** this.

- What are you doing?

- Tell them to piss off!

- But... But...

- Seven years,

and now they want

to dig me out!

[Richard] They might not.

[TV shuts off]

F***!

F***!

Calm down. Don't be angry.

We'll go over there.

We talk to 'em.

We'll go and say

we're no harm and...

They want any excuse

to kick us out!

You keep away! You hear?

Are you hearing me?

Yes, Polly.

- Yes.

- Yes, I am!

Yeah.

Two quid.

[Polly] What, two?

It's plastic.

Oh, come on, man.

Give me a f***ing break.

I'll give you three

if you strip the wire.

Ah, f*** it.

Just give me the cash.

[Fiona clucks]

No. I don't think they're

going to kick us out.

No, doesn't look

like a nasty person, does he?

Oh, sh*t!

Ah!

[yells]

You thieving bastard!

You treat people right,

and sh*t won't happen.

Wanker!

[grunts]

[groans]

Oi!

Oi! Oi!

Oi!

- You all right?

- He's a prick, isn't he?

You what, mate?

I said to him,

"You can stick your f***ing job

up your arse, mate!"

You all right?

You want something?

A right old p*ssy wagon,

this, eh?

You're going the right way about

a broken nose, mate.

Right. [chuckles]

You need someone

to drive this for you?

I can do anything, any job.

Where you heading?

What do you want?

I'm just looking for work, mate.

And why are you waving at her?

They cut my

leccy off this morning.

I just lost my job.

Do a favor.

I'm no harm, honest.

You know the old bake site,

Off Norwich Road.

Colchester?

Ipswich.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

I know. I know. I know. I know.

That's where we'll be.

For two days, at least.

What's your name?

- Bill.

- I'll come find you there, Bill.

All right.

[Fiona clucks]

[Richard] Oh, what's wrong?

[Polly]

She don't like you anymore.

- No, she's just moody.

- Inside.

Sit down. Something's happened.

What?

Sit down.

[exhales]

Bad news, right.

What?

What's happened? What's...

[Polly sniffs]

They're kicking us out.

What d'you... What d'you mean?

They started procedures.

Who has?

The f***ing people,

the people down there.

They want us out.

No! No, they

can't do this, Polly. They...

They can't do that, Polly!

They can't do that!

Shut up! Are you gonna cry now?

There's no talking to them.

No, but Polly, where...

where would we go?

- Where would we go?

- Oh, would you shut up?

Your moaning

ain't going to help!

I've seen them!

I've said to them, "We've been

here longer than you, pal,

much longer!"

You're lucky I don't kick

you out and move in there!

That's our rights!

- He swung at me!

- Oh, Polly. He didn't...

He swung at me,

so I broke his f***ing nose!

Polly. Right, Polly, listen.

Stop it. Listen. Right.

What is it we're going to do?

We need to think.

What are we going to do?

What are you asking me for?

Why don't you

think of something?

We could go and find Mom

or something, can't we...

Don't you dare mention her,

you little c*nt!

Don't you...

You...

I've got to see someone.

[Richard] Wait, I come.

Polly, can I come?

Am I not

good enough family for you?

Yeah.

Polly, I'm sorry.

[soft music playing]

[Annabell] Hello?

Hello?

Oh, finally!

You're never going

to believe where I am.

[stutters] Do you know what?

Let's not even talk about it.

No. No. This is like

the first time I've had signal.

Oh, God.

And now I'm being eyed-up

by the local gene pool.

Did you hear?

I'm being serious. [laughs]

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

Just listen.

I want to tell you something.

I'm coming back.

Today.

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, so I'll call you

when I am on the train.

Okay.

Okay. I love you, bye.

Oi! Careful.

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