Chicken Page #2

If I tell my mother

you're climbing the house

to perve on me,

you'll be out on your arse

without a penny. So shut up.

[vehicle approaching]

[Fiona clucks]

Shh! Shh! Shh!

Which... Which one

do you think's... the bad one?

[Fiona clucks]

All right.

We're going

to have to be careful.

[Fiona clucks]

Yeah.

No.

No, he needs some trousers.

No, no, he cannot be

walking around all rude, can he?

It's an hour away!

I'll be back by tea time.

We've been here two minutes,

Annabell.

You could show some support.

It's difficult enough without...

I have shown support.

And now I need to see

my friends!

You'll see your friends,

but not right now!

Well, when then? When?

You said today, and you lied!

Your father and I have made

our decision, Annabell.

Don't give me that father crap!

[Fiona clucks]

[exhales]

[Fiona clucks]

Borrowing isn't stealing, is it?

Yeah, I'm allowed

to borrow, ain't I?

All right. Wait here.

[drawer rattles]

[drawer slams shut]

Can you move, please?

[Annabell] Oi!

Who are you?

What do you want?

[Richard] Found it!

- What is it?

- It bounced.

- What's that?

- No.

It's just a golf ball.

I'm no harm. See?

See it?

[Richard chuckles]

Give that back.

Look, I said I'm sorry.

I'm no harm. I promise.

Give it to me.

[both chuckle]

[Richard chuckles]

[Annabell] Fetch!

[Richard] I've got it. [giggles]

[Annabell] You keep it.

What's your name then?

Bouncy Balls?

It's Richard.

Enchante, Richard.

I'm Annabell.

Enchant.

What are you doing here,

Richard?

Nothing.

I'm just kind of walking round.

You're on my land.

Do you know that?

I am sorry.

[Annabell sighs]

It's very naughty.

We're gonna to have

to figure out

a way for you

to pay this off.

But for now, with me.

Now, the first thing you need

to know about me, Richard,

is that I do not

want to be here.

All of this is against my will.

So, if I smile, or we have fun,

or I look like

I'm enjoying myself,

then remember I'm not.

The second thing is...

Wait, where are we going?

[Richard stuttering]

Come on, you're a local.

What do you people do for fun?

If it's dirty stuff

with animals or siblings,

then don't tell me.

It's too typical.

I kind of... I like the river.

- The river?

- Yeah.

Do you know

it's actually quite nice?

Hm. Well, then.

Let's to the river.

Now, the second thing

you need to know about me is...

and this is important...

I do not smoke.

My dad said,

if I gave up smoking for lent,

then he'd pay for

the rest of my driving lessons.

So, I haven't smoked now

for 20 days, 21 now.

So, how old are you then?

Uh... Fifteen.

Fifteen?

- You sure about that?

- Yeah.

Fifteen's a good age to start.

[Richard chuckles] No.

Go on.

Suit yourself.

God, look at this place:

the air, the fields,

the infinite blue sky.

It's disgusting.

- So, do you live here then?

- Yeah.

Where?

In my caravan.

- Oh, it's you?

- Hm.

- You're the gypsy?

- No, that's Polly.

No, I'm a farmer.

- Polly?

- Yeah, but I'm a farmer, though.

What, your sister's a gypsy?

No, my brother is.

Your brother's a Polly?

Yeah.

You do know that's

a girl's name, don't you?

[Richard] Mm.

Hot?

I don't know.

You'd have to ask him.

Hm. Forever Polly.

Hm. Not quite what

I had in mind, but it'll do.

So, um, do you live

in that piddly caravan then?

Yeah.

What, all of you?

Uh... Me and Polly, yeah.

What about your parents?

- What about them?

- Well, where do they live?

I don't know.

So, you live on your own?

[groans] Yes, with Polly!

Told you.

God, you're so lucky.

I would absolutely

love to live on my own.

This is a prison.

But you are going

to save me, Richard.

I can feel it.

Very brave of you.

I hope you know that.

I said that once.

Yeah. There was, um...

What was it?

Is it like a tiger?

It was a tiger.

It's a tiger, a baby one,

and, um, Fiona was

with this frog by the river...

Actually, the river

we're going to now.

I saved Fiona.

Fiona's my chicken.

[Richard] Come on! Come on.

You've got to walk.

Come around here.

Come on. Frogs ain't going

to wait for you, Annabell.

And there's tigers in here too,

so be very careful.

[Richard] All right.

Well, here we are.

[Annabell] Where?

The river.

[Annabell chuckles]

Richard, this is not a river.

I'm sorry,

but it does have frogs. So...

It will have to do then,

won't it?

Well, invite me to sit,

won't you?

[Richard chuckles]

My goodness.

Would you like to sit?

Hm. Why, thank you, young man.

Yes, I would.

Well, this is a hoot.

Annabell.

Yes, Richard?

How come you is a prisoner?

Well, my dad lost a chemical in

his brain that made him happy.

- Think my mother stole it.

- Oh, did she? On purpose?

So he had to stop working,

which meant my mother

couldn't keep her lifestyle.

So, we came here

so she could have a new one.

Because they own me,

I had to come.

Oh, they own you, do they?

Well, the legal term is

"guardians."

My real parents are dead,

so I'm stuck with spares.

What are you doing?

Put your clothes on.

Annabell, I need to wash.

That's dirty water. Get up.

It's disgusting.

You don't have water

in your caravan?

[Richard] You are hard work!

[Annabell]

They're buried in Singapore.

They didn't bring them back.

I mean, I suppose

there wasn't much point.

I had to fly back on my own.

I didn't mind, though.

I was in business class.

Have you ever flown business?

[Richard] No.

But you know what I have done?

Well, I actually own my own

helicopter, because my dad...

[Annabell scoffs]

Don't do that.

My dad's a pilot.

- Okay, if you say so.

- Yeah.

My dad's a pilot, and once...

Once we flew so high...

Listen to this bit.

We flew so high that

I could actually see the moon.

- Yeah.

- [laughing]

No. I know it's big,

but we had to fly that way...

we had to come down again,

because, um...

'cause the petrol.

Expensive, was it?

- You don't understand.

- [Annabell giggles]

Did you see the... Did you see

the moon in business?

Well, no.

I haven't seen the moon.

Whatever.

I've still flown business class,

and it was amazing.

- Hmm...

- So...

Well, I've never

actually been on a plane, so...

F*** off, you freak!

[Annabell] Ss...

I'm sorry, I...

No. You shouldn't

say that to me.

Are you okay?

You shouldn't say that to me,

should you?

- I didn't mean it like that.

- You shouldn't say that.

[Annabell sighs]

- Let's forget about it, yeah?

- Why'd you say that to me?

I don't know.

- It's just something you say.

- That's not what I am.

- No, I know that.

- I'm not that. That's not me.

Okay, please don't get upset.

Are you okay?

Friends?

Let's forget about it, please.

Well, I'll let you off,

but you've gotta learn

your lesson, you have.

All right.

Is your dad's nose okay?

Yes.

It's broken, isn't it? Broken?

Not that I know of. [chuckles]

Doesn't matter.

Are you sure?

I have no idea

what you're saying.

Okay, then.

Bye.

Oh, my goodness!

- Oh, I got distracted.

- [Fiona clucks]

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