Chillerama Page #5

Plug him up!

Plug him up!

Plug him up!

This is for you, Jesus.

[grunting]

Plug him up!

Plug him up!

[chuckling]

Plug him up!

Plug him up!

[growling]

[suspenseful music]

Plug him up!

[loud growling

and horror chord]

[roaring]

[shrill scream]

You okay, dude?

[Butch, giggIing hystericaIIy]

Man, l was just playing.

lt was just a joke.

lt's a party, daddy Os!

[swoosh]

[screaming]

[intense rock music]

Ugh!

[slap]

[shouting]

[crying]

[shouting]

[playful music]

[intense rock music

and crying]

l never promised

l'd be gentle.

Now you know what we are.

And what you are!

(Ricky)

No. l'm not

like any of you.

Angsty little dude.

[shouting]

My darling.

lt's good for your head.

Call me, Sybill!

Nurse Maleva,

you've gotta help me.

Just calm down.

Tell me everything.

You were right.

Talon, the twins,

they're not

just different,

they're-- They're--

Werebears.

Werebears!

l'm sorry.

l don't understand.

Where l am from,

there is old saying

Even a boy

who thinks he's straight

yet shaves

his balls by night,

may become a Werebear

from the hormones

of age

and the Iatent urge

takes flight.

So you're saying--

Once bitten,

anytime you get aroused,

you become that

which bit you.

And you attack

those you lust after.

Lust after?

l think you know

what l'm talking about.

[playful ping]

Homo!

No. l am

not a homo!

l'm a, Werebear.

[ominous chord]

[cheerful rock music]

Looking for these?

[sighing]

l'm going to the police.

Well, don't forget

to tell them

what you did to good old

Coach Tuffman.

He was trying to molest me.

Ricky. Ricky. Ricky.

You can't molest

the willing.

[growling]

[light growl]

You're such

a cub, Ricky.

All show and no go.

Who's talking about

not being like everybody

else, you just wanna be you.

This is you.

No. You did this to me.

[thump]

You could ask yourself

a question, brother.

[panting]

Did the bite

put the beast in you?

Or let it out.

[snapping]

Love, Iove, Iove

Bit me on the ass

Love bit me on the ass

lt got me by surprise

Love bit me on the ass

Took teeth to realizze

That l'm just

A lonely boy

Yes, deep down l'm blue

But when l'm

unleash the beast

To myself l'm true

Love, Iove, Iove,

Bit me on the ass

Love bit me on the ass

Bit me deep down too

Love bit me on the ass

But no way am l like you

l may be quite different

But l am not a beast

l just want to cuddle

And you just wanna feast

Love, Iove, Iove,

Bit me on the ass

Love, Iove, Iove

[both, growling]

Meet me tonight

at the luau.

lt's gonna be a bloodbath.

What do you mean

[growling]

with "bloodbath"?

lt means that the guys

are gonna shake things

up at the school dance.

Payback time for those

small-minded haters.

[chuckling]

l can't be

part of that, Talon.

You can't be part of that.

This is not how you

gain acceptance.

[panting]

Well, then l guess

l'll see ya when

l'll see ya.

[soft pop music]

l saw you dancing

Barefoot in the sand

l can love you

Like no other can

Sexy ways

Sexy ways

Sexy ways

Sexy ways

[applause]

[audience booing]

You've all given us

such a warm welcome

this first week at school.

You definitely deserve

this next number, it's, uh,

It's pretty bear-tastic.

[rock music begins]

Well, we got a new dance

lt's the hit of the land

All you gotta do

is thrust when you stand

[indistinct]a squeal,

a grunt, and a squirt

Yeah, it's called the Warebear

And it just might hurt

Let's do the Werebear

And let

The Werebear do you

Let's do the Werebear

Right here in Malibu

(all)

Yeah!

Sweeping the nation

Just like civil rights

Werebear

lt's the latest sensation

For long long lonely nights

Werebear

l knew you would

come, son.

Four, three, two, thrust

l know now what

l must do, Maleva.

Three, thrust

l wanna do it again

Let's do the Werebear

And let

The Werebear do you

Let's do the Werebear

Right here in Malibu

Yeah!

One, two, three, thrust

[moaning]

One, two, three, thrust

One, two, three, thrust

[growling]

Do it again

[moaning]

One, two, three, thrust

Oh, it never has to end

One, two, three, thrust

One, two, three, thrust

[growling and shouting]

One, two, three,

Thrust, oh!

Everybody gather round

[audience gasping]

You better not let

This madness go down

They got good lines

They f*** real good

But they just want

To make you their food

Yeah!

[music stops]

[both growling]

Violence and hatred

is not the answer.

lf we are to be accepted

we must show love

and tolerance.

There are human beings

out there, Talon.

Not snacks.

[chuckling]

Nice speech, Gandhi.

But we're hungry!

[suspenseful music]

[shouting]

[ominous music]

[general screaming

and growling]

[suspenseful music continues]

(Talon)

l freed you

from a life of conformity.

l unleashed you

from the mundane.

[punches and screaming]

(Ricky)

You chained me to a life

of bloodloss!

[shouting]

[screaming]

[shouting]

Help me, Maleva!

(Maleva)

Yes, Ricky.

You know what to do.

[shouting

and suspenseful chord]

[both panting]

[sad music]

Maybe--

l should've been

more like you.

We can change

the world together.

You still can.

[panting]

Go get 'em, kid.

Make sure

you tell them

that l'm not a monster.

You know, Werebears

need love too.

[howling]

(Tobe)

Wow. Not enough gay.

(Ryan)

Yeah, l mean,

De Palma, ripping

this off for Carrey?

(Tobe)

Why are you surprised?

lt's De Palma.

What-- What l don't get,

is if they just shaved

their chests

wouldn't their curse

be lifted?

l mean,

that's what it took

to be a Werebear. Right?

Uh. Sure.

l feel like l would've

used something

less invasive.

You know, like,

instead of a dildo,

maybe a silver razzor.

[chuckling

and squeaking sound]

What was that?

That's what scientists

refer to as the one

cheek sneak.

Anyone want anything

from the concession stand?

l'm gonna go talk to Mr. K.

l'm good.

Nah, just bring Desi

back if you can.

Yeah, sure, l'll

be right back.

[clearing throat]

[farting]

[continues farting]

ls it hot in here

or is it just me?

lt's you.

How 'bout you sideburns,

want some of this milk

it may cool you off?

l'd rather

have a beer.

[chuckling]

Nice.

Okay. Saw you,

Mr. CockbIock.

[mumbling]

Hey, is there

any popcorn left?

Fresh out.

Want me

to get some more

before the next fIick?

Yeah. l'll

just be here

getting manhandled.

Really?

[baby gibberish]

Oh. l could just

eat you up.

lt's all over, darling

because l--

[door opening]

Hey, Mr. K.

How you holding up?

Jesus, l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

Boy, dammit.

Does anybody knock anymore?

l'm an old man here.

Mr. K.,

l'm sorry, sir, l--

Don't apoIogizze.

Put, put, put, put

your hands down, son.

Wow. Thanks

for the six heart attacks.

Do you have a minute

to talk. l , l need to.

Well, sure thing. But, uh, go

over to the projector first

and flip on my call, okay?

Yeah, you got it, Mr. K.

[screaming and thunder]

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