Chillerama Page #6

Welcome back,

boyls and ghouls.

Anybody not off

to eternal slumber yet?

[horns honking]

Tonight they

wiII bask in the gIory

of the unconventionaI.

spit in the eye of morality

and feast on the art

of the damned.

With a film

that will test your tastes

and rock the very fabric

of your senses!

[laughing]

[German accent]

And first, it's time

to bear witness

to the Bible of bad taste,

The Diary

of Anne Frankenstein!

[rattIing and spooky

piano music]

[1 930s music]

[speaking German]

[intense suspenseful music]

Sh.

[crash]

[shouting]

[suspenseful music stops]

[suspenseful music resumes]

[growling]

[playful music]

[chuckling]

[Anna, chuckling]

[mocking, laughing]

[all, laughing]

[gunshots]

[thunder]

[both soldiers]

Heil, Hitler!

[indistinct]

Scheisse.

[knocking]

[chuckling]

Boop!

[playful music]

[both, laughing]

Poofta.

(both)

HeiI, Hitler!

[suspenseful music]

[singing, sweet music]

[suspenseful music]

(Eva)

Oh, mein Gott.

[heavenIy music]

[growling]

[purring]

[growling]

Heil, Hitler!

Meshugannah.

Huh?

[growling softly]

[continues encouraging]

[growling]

[intense suspenseful music]

(both)

Nein!

[indistinct]

[sound of wet meat]

[screaming]

[groaning]

What the f***?

[suspenseful music]

[gunshots]

[intense suspenseful music

and screaming continues]

[Eva and Hitler

alternate screaming]

[growling]

[both, sighing

in relief]

[all scream]

[sound of wet meat]

[growling]

Oh!

[ripping,

screaming]

[traditionaI Jewish music]

(male voice, on screen)

What is it?

[chorus singing]

More popcorn?

[on screen singing]

Two hot popcorns

Mix it up, wrap it up

Butter it up

[thump and moaning]

l got big plans

for you, baby.

Nice. Nice.

You like that, baby?

Hm. Yeah.

[moaning]

Loads of possibilities.

feet, Starbucks,

Food court, oh, I get hard

just thinking about it.

Yeah.

[crunching, moaning]

Hm. That's good. Hm.

Oh. So, so good.

Hm. Delicious.

Hey. Are you

enjoying my mouth

or the f***ing popcorn?

Well, both, baby.

lt's kind of a big

fantasy for me.

Well, are you sure?

'Cause it seems you're

getting aII orgasmic

about your f***ing snacks.

[stomach noises

and grunting]

Jesus, are you okay?

Yeah, just, uh,

l feel hot.

Kinda hot.

Don't stop. Come on.

[stomach noises]

Okay. Tell me when you're

gonna pop. You know l

don't like the taste.

Yeah. Yeah. Ugh.

[groaning and gurgIing]

[suspenseful music]

What--

[growling]

[wet meat and cracking]

[wet meat

and growIing]

[background radio]

[horror chord]

More head.

[groaning]

[crunching, moaning]

[soft growling]

[loud thump]

What the f***?

[chuckling]

l just washed

this car.

He's got

blue slushies!

Oh! l'm like freaking

out right now!

All right. What were

we talking about?

Tobe. l should probably go--

Talk to Tobe.

I think you

should talk to him.

That's my piece.

That's fine! Screw it!

Just tell me how

it begins.

Roger Wilco.

Red five. Standing by.

Hm. Nerdy one.

Yeah, and you

getting that line

makes you one

of the good ones.

[door cIosing]

Which makes me,

the final girl.

(Announcer)

And now, on with the show.

[thunder

and screaming recording]

Well, my Chilly Chillens,

l hope you're still

with us for the long

[indistinct]

[vicious laughing]

(Mr. K.)

For this popuIar abomination

you've all been waiting for.

The final sinful centerpiece,

of our last evening together.

Hey.

So, l need to get

something off my chest.

l-- l--

(Mr. K.

You are gonna see

some serious sh*t!

Whoa.

lt's just like

in the movies, huh?

l-- l--

l got nothing.

(Mr. K)

The most viIe and offensive

stock of ceIIuIoid.

Here is Deathication.

[Iaughing viciousIy]

[spooky music]

[door opening]

Oh, hello.

l didn't see you there.

Come in, won't you?

Would you mind, uh,

closing the door, please?

[cIosing door]

Thank you very much.

As l was saying, my name

is Fernando Phagabeefy.

lnternationally known

and respected film maker.

The visionary mastermind

behind notorious

cinematic works such as,

The Cunting Death,

Salo 2, The Next Day

and of course,

Rosemary's Picnic TabIe.

l here now to present to you

my latest and greatest

moving picture.

A film so scandalous,

so intense,

that it was banned

from every film festival

in fear of mass hysteria,

and destroyed seating.

The next 87 minutes

you're about to endure

a motion picture

l've directed called,

Deathication,

comes with a very

serious warning.

This film

was specifically produced

to elicit the effect

of pure terror on the audience

to a complete

and total sensory immersion

to the images on screen

using the latest

in cinematic technology.

The lights of which

we can have revealed here

in fear

of government confiscation.

The following visuals

printed on this very

film stock

are proven to cause a highly

visceral, biological response

in the human nervous system

in the most,

hm, nefarious of ways.

Oh, hello, doctor.

As you can

see from our

scientific results,

this photo realistic

rendering

of one,

the human body,

each and every frame

of Deathication

swiftly attacks

the viewer's

brainwaves,

rendering specific

motor functions helpless

to the depravity that unfolds

before your very eyes.

At any moment during

the course of this film,

viewers have been know

to suddenly and violently

release their bowels!

A collective explosion

of hot, moist madness.

ln other words,

what you're about to see

will make you sh*t.

A lot!

Buckets of excrement!

A river of ca ca wiII

rage through this theater's

as one buttery floor.

You'll crap your slacks

for days to come,

ruin many undergarments

become severely dehydrated,

brave scorn at any social

event or family gathering,

even suffer from a case

of inflamed anal tissue

similar,

to the effects of sodomy.

ln other other words,

this film

will rape you

with your own feces.

And that, my friends,

is a Fernando

Phagabeefy promise.

With this warning in mind,

by staying in this theatre,

you're releasing

any rights and liability

against the film makers

or the owner of this

fine establishment

for any cleaning bills,

shattered senses,

or exploded ovaries.

So, for the safety of you,

those around you

and the integrity

of your swimming trunks area,

please consider this

your final warning.

Those in the audience

who have a weak constitution

or a giant a**hole,

should leave

this theatre immediately!

Unless you are truly prepared

to experience

the horrific effects

of, Deathication.

Because you can't scream

if you're full of sh*t.

[fart sound]

[disco music]

[fart]

[farting]

[grunting]

[farting]

[groaning]

[farting]

[grunting]

[fart]

[disco music continues]

[grunting]

What the hell--

[grunting over radio,

audio probIems]

What is that?

l don't know.

That's a first.

[disco music continues]

Do you think

Mr. K's all right?

(Tobe)

l don't know. l'm kind

of worried about him.

He seemed a bit a mess

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes