Chocolat Page #5

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Worthless cow! You're nothing without me.

You can't even use a skillet!

Can't even put a goddamn meal on the table.

He's inside.

JOSEPHINE:
He's here. Oh, God.

SERGE:
I need to talk to you.

Please open the door. I know...

-Mama! -Come help me!

SERGE:
Open the door.

Open the door. I just want to talk to you.

VIANNE:
Go sleep it off, Serge!

SERGE:
Ah, you shut up, you b*tch!

You've caused enough trouble already!

You...

[Pounding on door]

Unh!

SERGE:
Open this door!

Mama!

Aah! Aah!

JOSEPHINE:
Oh, my God!

[Shouting]

Stay away from me.

Aah!

-Come here now! -Aah!

SERGE:
Aah!

Why, you meddling b*tch!

You...

[Choking]

Ahh!

VIANNE:
Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Who says I can't use a skillet?

[Drops skillet]

[Laughs]

[Bell tolling]

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour.

Wonderful.

Come on.

Up. Come on. Up.

[Groans]

Come on.

[Laughter]

His skull can't be as thick as we thought.

[All laugh]

VIANNE:
It was like swatting a fly.

Ohh. The worst is over.

He found out what you're made of.

[Laughs] So did I.

-Hi. -Hey.

Mmm!

How long have we got?

She's at the hairdresser for an hour.

[Gasps]

Fuffi?

CAROLINE:
Fuffi.

I'm so sorry, but I have to break the appointment.

FRANOISE:
Is something wrong?

CAROLINE:
No. I volunteered to distribute these.

I promised the comte I'd have

them out by the end of the day.

FRANOISE:
Count me in.

Not that I expect any of them

to stop by for a hairstyle.

CAROLINE:
It's not just that.

The comte feels we must stand firm.

We cannot trust these people.

Before you know it, they'll be doing jobs for food.

They'll be begging at our doors.

FRANOISE:
Not at this door.

CAROLINE:
Good, Fuffi, good.

[Exhales]

ARMANDE:
Rub, rub. Rub harder. Rub.

[Exhales]

ARMANDE:
Rub. Rub.

[Luc exhales]

ARMANDE:
Rub it. Hard. Keep your head still.

-Aha! -Bravo!

[Laughter]

[Vianne and Josephine stop clapping]

Hello, Caroline.

ARMANDE:
If you want to blame someone, blame me...

corrupting him with cocoa.

Oh, how dare you, Mother.

He's happy. He's fine. Look at him.

Mama, I...

Well, what about you, Mother?

CAROLINE:
Are you fine?

I bet she has conveniently forgotten to tell you.

ARMANDE:
Carol.

Why don't you show them, Mother?

Are you afraid to? Why don't you show?

CAROLINE:
Insulin shots.

She has diabetes... very advanced.

CAROLINE:
She could be blind within a year.

Yeah. Couldn't you call me a drug addict?

It sounds a lot more glamorous.

And you... you sit here feeding her sweets.

ARMANDE:
There are worse ways to die.

CAROLINE:
Why don't you just give her rat poison?

It would be faster.

ARMANDE:
Carol has a flair for drama.

She needs to be in a place where

she can be taken care of.

Le Mortoir?

I'd rather be in Hell.

Ah.

You may get there, Mother.

Luc, come with me.

I don't want to.

He's happy here. It's good for him.

I will decide what is good

for my son, Madame Muscat.

[Clink clink] Give me another.

It's my life. Let me enjoy what's left of it.

Fill 'er up.

Armande, why didn't you tell me?

Is this a chocolaterie, or is it a confessional?

Don't you dare pity me.

[People chattering]

SERGE:
Sorry, we're closed.

She just wants a soda water.

I don't serve animals.

[Serge lights match]

[Serge douses match]

Right.

[Humming]

-Hello. -Hi.

I just made a fresh batch of monduon.

Anybody interested?

My tummy hurts.

VIANNE:
Oh.

I've got just the thing for that. Come in.

ROUX:
What about boycotting immorality, then?

[Laughs]

Come in.

VIANNE:
An old remedy.

From the cocoa tree.

GATI:
Tastes strange.

Mmm. Maybe your daddy would like a taste.

He's not my daddy. He's my pony.

ANOUK:
Here. It's a lot better than those leaves.

Tastes good.

Come on.

ANOUK:
Pantoufle wants to meet you.

ANOUK:
He's my kangaroo.

Go ahead. It's your favorite.

What makes you so sure?

Go on. Taste it.

Hmm.

That's fantastic.

Oh, thanks. I have a knack for guessing.

It's good... not my favorite.

Sorry?

[Gati and Anouk laughing]

All right.

Thanks very much.

You know, I could fix that, if you like.

Not with glass, but...

I can make you a nice strong one out of wood.

VIANNE:
That's nice of you...

but I insist on paying you for your work.

That makes two of us, then.

ROUX:
Bye.

Thanks again.

REYNAUD:
She's laughing at us.

Now she's got one of those

river people working for her.

PERE:
Is that a problem? Christ teaches us...

Look at this.

She's soliciting for stalls and street performers...

for a fertility celebration on Easter Sunday.

She's cackling at us.

When are you going to do something about it?

Oh, there.

ROUX:
What part of Australia is Pantoufle from?

ANOUK:
A small town outside of Sydney.

ROUX:
What does he eat?

ANOUK:
Leaves, bugs...

and worms, of course.

What about chocolate?

Kangaroos don't eat chocolate.

Has he ever tried it?

ANOUK:
[Whispering] Have you ever tried chocolate?

He's not interested.

ROUX:
Not interested?

Mr. Pantoufle, you surprise me.

A world traveler such as yourself...

not interested in new flavors?

You should be ashamed.

I have a very nice truffle here...

JOSEPHINE:
if he wants to try it.

You're wasting your time.

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Roux hammers door]

How do you know you don't like chocolate...

ROUX:
if you refuse to try it?

Do you like worms?

What?

How do you know if you've never tasted one?

Ha ha!

Ah.

[Vianne and Josephine laugh]

Ew.

Subtle.

Zesty.

[Vianne laughs]

Disgusting.

[All laugh]

Go on, my little friend.

ROUX:
Be free.

You tricked me.

PERE:
Satan...

wears many guises.

At times, Satan is the singer of a lurid song...

PERE:
you hear on the radio.

At times, the author of a salacious novel.

At times, the quiet man lurking in the schoolyard...

asking your children if he might join their game.

And at times, the maker of sweet things...

mere trifles.

For what could seem more harmless...

more innocent...

than chocolate?

[Sighs]

A bit of a squeak.

[Charly barks]

Hey, Guillaume!

I've got something new Charly's going to love.

[Laughs]

[Whimpers]

Come on, Charly. Come on.

It's me. I should go.

No, it's not you. It's...

ANOUK:
Uhh!

VIANNE:
Where have you been?

I was worried.

Hey! I'm talking to you.

ANOUK:
It's just like all the other towns.

Anouk.

Anouk.

VIANNE:
Just tell me what happened.

Are you Satan's helper?

[Sighs] Well, it's not easy being different.

ANOUK:
Why can't we go to church?

Well, you can if you want, but

it won't make things easier.

Why can't you wear black shoes

like the other mothers?

He's a fine piece of work, our little nobleman.

No wonder his wife goes gallivanting off.

She's been in Italy for months. Did you know that?

Armande...

the whole town's against me.

[Sighs] What can I do?

Throw me a party.

VIANNE:
Ha ha ha! What?

ARMANDE:
Wednesday's my 70th.

Let's show the bastards we're

ready to go down dancing.

[Both laugh]

But a party?

You're not well. You have to face it.

OK, OK, OK...

But you do this for me, and I promise...

I'll check into Le Mortoir the very next morning...

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