Choking Hazard Page #3

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Like a philosopher.

- I've got a plan.

- Great, finally! Out with it.

Let us pray.

I need a drink.

Hey, since the doctor is dead,

why don't you just tell me

what the meaning of life is.

- You've been here before.

- Oh, no.

It wouldn't be right.

We might die at any moment!

- Woombies are everywhere!

- Woomb-what?

Woodsmen zombies. Woombies.

Look, Tereza, tell me.

Don't fool around.

I can't tell you. You have

to reach it on your own.

Think of something, get me

to safety and I'll tell you.

B*tch.

- How about calling for help?

- Original.

We can call on our Lord.

Right on, Hanusova!

Have they taken over the world?

It's the usual scenario, right?

There aren't that many woodsmen

in the whole world.

Too bad there's no signal.

A signal, or a sign...

I think that's Isaiah 60.

We could nail the door shut.

Is there a hammer somewhere?

They usually put one

next to the soap and towels.

Sh*t!

You hunting freak!

- Watch out, the bastard bites!

- The bathroom!

- We can't stand here forever.

- What're we going to do?

I ain't staying

one second longer.

So what?

Are you okay?

Yeah... We have to tie

that Antichrist up.

Let's tear up the sheets.

The maid

won't be happy about this.

Why did I have

to get lost with you?

What's that for?

If they're burning

they ain't attacking.

Maybe we shouldn't hurt them.

What?

I've always been against

eliminating endangered species.

Even my coats are synthetic.

What?! Zombies are

an endangered species?

Seen many wandering around

lately?

This may sound strange, but

they're part of the ecosystem

and if we disturb the ecosystem

we will disturb its equilibrium...

What am I rambling about? God,

why did I come here anyway.

Why didn't I say

f*** the meaning of life

and go shopping

in London instead?

- Hey, guys...

- What?

- Please promise me something.

- What?

If one of them bites me...

I want you to make sure

I don't come back.

- Oh, come on.

...like him...

It'd screw up Kingdom

od Heaven for me, for sure.

Promise.

Look, are you a woodsman?

No. So you can't be a zombie.

Promise!

Ok, I promise.

The doctor was right about

those suicidal tendencies.

This plan isn't going to work.

There are zombies in the kitchen.

The keys you saw in the

kitchen have to be to some car.

Even if the keys were there...

- Tereza.

- What?

The discussion

is scheduled for Sunday.

You're right...

We have to do something,

even if no one else does, right?

Sure.

Dammit!

They say men are protectors

and problems solvers

but when it comes down to it we

have to do it ourselves, right?

Sure.

Let's go for it. We'll showthe men how it's done.

- We're the rescue mission, right?

- Sure.

Now!

Hold him!

Down!

How come he's still moving

even though he's dead.

Who gives a sh*t?

How about stowing him

under the bed?

Yeah.

- Hope he didn't bite my jacket.

- He didn't.

- Hey, you.

- What?

- Let's f***.

- What?

Let's f***, you porno-Jehovist.

Hey, I might be dead

in a few minutes.

And for the first time I have

a chance to f*** a pro,

and I know it'll be hot.

- A logical consideration.

- Sorry, I can't work just now.

- Anyone got a cigarette?

- No.

- I quit.

- Me too. I'm such an idiot.

Man, he's really jonesing.

- What's the matter?

- The bastard bit me!

Sh*t.

- Do something!

- Like what?

F***! It hurts!

He's changing.

He got bit and he's changing.

- Don't let him bite you!

- We shouldn't do anything rash.

There's still time

to think of something

while he's moaning there.

He's gone. F***, that was quick.

So, what now?

- My god, why don't you cover him?

- Jehovah.

Somebody has to do it.

- And we also have to...

- What?

- We have to be sure

he won't return. - What?!

No way. Do you think I'm crazy?

Do you think I could kill?

Why not?

Because they'd put me away,

that's why.

Your girlfriend

is tougher punishment.

You swore.

And a promise is a promise.

There's no logic in that.

Yeah, but you're the one

who thinks things make sense.

And you and Lefnerova

co-organized this course.

You're responsible for us.

I bet she wouldn't back out:

She's no wimp.

- Stop it.

- Stop what?

I can't concentrate

with you talking to me.

Any moment he might

wake up as a woodsman.

Hurry! He's waking up!

I'm not dead yet.

That makes

only 22,754,999 readers.

- You are an a**hole.

- Someone's got to be.

Now finish him off.

I can't do it.

Put this on his head.

It's easier to hit the pillow.

You've got a free kick

toward self-fulfillment.

- More?

- Yeah.

He's squishy!

Is he...? Is he...?

Let's take a look.

The maid's really not

gonna be happy about this.

He's gone.

Is this some kind

of an alien slime, or what?

- That's an eye.

- An eye?

An eye.

Cool.

The white of the eye.

Run!

- I wanna get out of here.

- We all do.

I don't do dead Jehovists.

- Unfortunately, we're surrounded.

- They aren't knocking anymore.

I'm sure they're still there.

Close the door, you man-eating,

drunk, sex-starved erotomaniac!

- You're not gonna do me!

- The closet!

- Stop touching me!

- It wasn't me.

- Verner is touching my tits!

- It's not me, either.

Right, I must be touching myself.

Who do you think

is holding the door as usual?

Let's go then.

No way are you gonna do me!

Another useless man.

Ever heard of the Halali motel?

Yeah. But people don't go

there very much, Tomas.

- You know my name?

- You look like a Tomas.

How about going for a coffee?

I'm off in 15 minutes.

But what about the motel?

I wouldn't fit there anyway.

- What is he doing?

- Hurry, the car!

- Yeah, but which one is it?

- Beep it!

What are you doing?

Don't open it!

Shoo!

- Help! Help!

- That was some rescue mission.

- What now?

- Back to the cellar!

- Hey, there's water here.

- Yeah...

Isn't there a phone?

I think the phone

is in the kitchen.

Old Woodsman?

I don't think so...

Guys!

Guys!

Climb on the bar!

Careful, my hands are wet!

Fry, you f***ers!

- Fry, you f***ers?

- Woodsmen...

Breakdance!

They must be getting

slaughtered up there.

I've made a brain sponge.

Now for the phone in the kitchen.

Dammit.

- Not working?

- No. - What' now?

No point in going outside.

We've got a better chance here.

- Are you kidding?

- No one is getting my brain.

- Let's wait till morning.

- Then try to escape.

Bingo!

Watch out!

The maid

won't be happy about this.

The maid?

This is the maid.

Hey, do you think

they can feel the pain?

- I don't think so.

- Let's find out.

That's immoral.

You've saved me!

- Again!

- Of course.

You're cool!

Let's go for it.

You're not coming with us!

The hunt's second phase: Stalking

Saturday, September 13, 4:27 AM

Miroslav! What do you think

you're doing?

- It's...

- Well? What is it, Miroslav?

It's a kind of an experiment

to see if it affects them.

And that's an experiment too?

- It was Verner, not me.

- Don't follow his example.

You're a bit

of a disappointment...

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