Christmas Cupid Page #5

strand burned out.

All right, it's my turn now.

Christmas ham or Christmas turkey?

Turkey. Duh!

Ham is for Easter.

Never let my grandma

hear you say that.

She'll clobber you

with her basting spoon.

I'm not kidding.

All right, all right.

Frosty or Rudolph?

The Grinch!

Me, too!

Oh, I've got one.

Okay.

Letters to Santa...

Hmm.

...or sitting on Santa's lap

telling him what you want?

Oh, the lap, definitely.

Well, I always figured I'd have a

way better shot at convincing him

to bring me the pony

if I asked him in person.

Well, yeah,

that never happened.

Well, here's

your chance.

Go on, hop on up there.

One lap, no waiting.

Yeah, but that's for the kids.

I'm way too old.

No, no, you're not.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Tell Santa to hear your

Christmas wish list.

You know what? I've already

got exactly what I want.

Come on.

Hey!

Let's go, buddy.

Okay, smile.

Cute, Santa.

Merry Christmas.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

This picture

is adorable.

Looks like you guys

were in love.

I never said

we weren't.

Then how could you

let this happen?

What'd you do, sneak out in

the middle of the night?

No. I waited till

he went off to class,

and then I packed up my car.

Come on. He was going off

to medical school in Iowa.

What was I going

to do there?

Wear some overalls

and watch the corn grow?

It was unfair of him

to ask me to go with him.

Okay, so you didn't

trade up from a guy,

you traded up

for what?

Glamour?

A bigger paycheck?

Okay, I made a choice.

I'm allowed to breakup

with a guy if I want to.

But you didn't even

have the guts

to tell him in person

you were leaving him?

That's cold, Sloane.

Even for you.

Hey, if I want

the opinion

of some dead B-lister,

I'll ask, okay?

What? Two chicks

fighting is hot.

Okay. What do you

want from me?

He was my college

boyfriend, that's all.

It's not like we were to spend

the rest of our lives together.

He was going

to propose?

I didn't know. How was I

supposed to know that?

You couldn't have.

You didn't stick around

long enough to find out.

It's barely

a quarter carat.

I would have held out

for something better, too.

Oh, you went for something

better, all right.

You made trading up

an art form.

Wait, you slept

with Jason?

You are such a slut!

I like it!

And you traded up

from him to Andrew.

And that's where

I'm going to stay.

No. What's so wrong

with trading up?

The older you get, the more

you know what you want.

But you're not going after

what your heart wants.

All you care about is the shiny

wrappings, not what's inside.

Bull. Andrew's everything

I've been looking for.

He's powerful, ambitious,

well-connected.

His family practically

built Hollywood.

Plus, he's got an ass you just

want to sink your teeth into.

Oh, yes, he does.

I'm not trading him in

for anyone.

Hmm. But would he say

the same thing about you?

No doubt.

You're not the only one looking

for the shiniest penny.

What do you think he's doing all those

late nights when he's not with you?

Meeting with clients.

Yeah, blonde clients

willing to do anything

to break

into Hollywood.

You're lying.

Nice nap?

You know, I only got

two hours of sleep,

because of you and your

damn ghost parade.

He was lying,

wasn't he?

I thought you knew.

I mean,

everybody knows.

Did you and Andrew...

Ew! No! He's like 30.

Gross.

Jeez, Sloane,

you look exhausted.

You didn't let any clients

see you like that, did you?

The hell?

What was that for?

The blonde!

Which blonde?

There was more than one?

SLlieve

you cheated on me.

Sloane, it was one time

and she meant nothing to me.

I can't even remember

Sarah's name!

Sarah?

Sarah, Debra...

Whatever.

Look, please give me a chance

to make this up to you.

We've got our reservations

at Panache tonight.

Let's go out,

you and me,

and just spend some time

together, out of the office.

Let's not let my little mistake turn

into a tragedy by losing our table.

Little mistake?

The only mistake I made

was trusting you.

And those reservations

are mine.

I'm going to dinner

and you can't come.

Sloane...

What the...

Is that vodka?

Oh, my God, where

did that come from?

I'm sorry, Sloane.

This completely sucks.

I know. I'm never gonna

get that promotion now.

Andrew's father

owns this firm.

Hell, he... He...

Hey!

He practically owns

half of Hollywood.

And now that Andrew and I broke

up, he'll probably fire me.

Might even have

me blacklisted.

Oh, God!

I'm going to have to

move to the Valley.

And do PR for people that are

castmates on Rock of Love.

My life is over!

Yeah, I know

how you feel.

Sorry.

It's fine.

Look, Andrew's a jerk.

You should go out and bang

someone else to get even.

That's what I'd do.

Patrick!

I'm not going to sleep with

Patrick to get back at Andrew.

Okay, well, why not sleep with

Patrick for no reason at all?

Sloane! How you doing?

Uh, good, good.

You know, I am free tonight and I

wanted to see what you're up to.

Uh, you want

to go to dinner,

Panache? 9:
00?

Definitely.

See you then.

Mission accomplished!

Hey, Sloane,

I heard you

and Andrew broke up.

Who's winning now?

What a dill weed.

Yeah, screw him.

You know, we'll see who's laughing

when I get that promotion.

Sloane, you know

that Andrew...

Screw him, too!

You know what? He doesn't

decide who gets the VP slot,

his dad does.

And when I show Carl what a kickass

memorial that I can throw,

I will get the promotion whether

I'm dating Andrew or not.

I am loving the new you.

Screw you all!

We've got a party to plan.

Let's go

to your house.

Okay, you have to help me pick out

the most amazing dress to wear

to my memorial.

I want to be

the first person ever

to make it on to the

best-dressed list posthumously.

Sounds like fun.

Um, usually people wear something a little

more conservative in the afterlife.

What did I die of, boredom?

You look like Big Bird.

I think

we have a winner!

Damn! I am

one hot corpse.

Okay, now what?

Well, uh,

now I got to run.

Oh! I'm going to be late to

meet Patrick for dinner.

Okay, you cannot go to

Panache looking like that.

I'm seeing this patient,

little girl,

and she's, uh...

She stuck six string beans all the way

up her nose, just one after the other.

Oh, my God,

what did you do?

I told her

she wasn't eating right.

It's like deja vu, huh?

Us having dinner.

Hmm. Me telling terrible

jokes and you...

Molting.

Okay, it was the

only thing that fit.

I didn't have the time

to find anything to wear.

I've been

a little stressed.

It is a good thing you're

dining with Dr. Love.

Dr. Love?

Well, it's either that

or Dr. Feel-Good.

Drink two of these.

Call me in the morning.

You were always good

at making me laugh.

Yeah?

Yeah, I miss that.

I miss you.

Yeah, well,

I got to be honest.

I was a little nervous

about meeting you tonight.

What? Why?

Ah, 'cause, you know,

what if you'd changed,

and you weren't the same girl

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