![Find Christmas in July on Amazon](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNGM0NTlmZTItMzUyNy00OGFmLThiNGEtMDc3NjE1MGMwNjY5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjUxODE0MDY@._V1_SX300.jpg)
Christmas in July
- PASSED
- Year:
- 1940
- 67 min
- 334 Views
(Woman)... into a big airy bedroom.
Then the sideboard turns around
and turns into the bathroom.
So you can eat and bathe?
- Course not, silly.
Then what's it doing in the bathroom?
- Nothing. It turns into a bathroom.
Then another time it
turns into a kitchenette.
Another time into a fireplace.
You can't light it but it looks awful cute.
What turns into a fireplace?
- This gig in the corner.
It turns around and makes one room
into four rooms...
haven't much money...
...can have a four-room apartment...
...for the price of a one-room apartment.
One room isn't an apartment.
- They're called that.
It's the same as four rooms.
- But suppose I...
You turn this in the corner...
- Suppose I wanted to go to the fireplace...
...while you were in the kitchenette.
You're trying to make things difficult.
Nothing's good enough for you
except a palace on Fifth Avenue.
(Radio) I give you coffee -
the end of the perfect dinner,
the beginning of the perfect day.
And now, the moment
we have all been waiting for.
We are about to give you the result...
...of the $50,000
Maxford House New Slogan contest,
with a first prize of $25,000,
and 95 other prizes totaling $15,000.
Some folks are going to be delirious
in a few minutes.
As you may well imagine,
all that sugar draws a lot of flies...
...and the jury here has been struggling
to pick the winners...
...from a little snowdrift
of 2,947,582 answers.
That is a lot of answers in any language,
including the Scandinavian.
(Laughs)
Dr. Maxford, our founder and president,
is at my side.
(Applause)
It will only be a matter of a few moments...
...until the jury ceases wrestling
and hands Dr. Maxford the verdict,
and he will himself,
in that well-known voice of his,
read you the names of the winners.
(Whispers)
- We seem to have a little contretemps,
fox pass or what have you,
ladies and gentlemen.
But it will only be...
What's the matter?
- The jury is deadlocked.
Deadlocked?
- Eleven to one.
It will only be a few moments
before the jury untangles itself,
and we will hear the happy winners' names
throughout the world.
(Laughs)...
...(Whispering)
Ahem. Just a little patience,
ladies and gentlemen.
Can't you get it through...
- What's this about a deadlock?
Where's the verdict?
- Ask Bildocker.
And you'll get an answer, too.
If you birds had the brains of a rooster...
I resent that. You may know about shipping
but when eleven of us have agreed...
It'll be ten o'clock next week...
- Quiet.
...before I give in to bunch of fat-headed,
mealy-mouthed lame brains who...
Quiet. Jumping Jehoshaphat.
Do you realize that we're on the air?
The whole of America's
waiting for your verdict.
120 million people
are suspended from your lips.
to the western hemisphere.
What do you know about
picking slogans anyway?
You wouldn't know a slogan
if you slipped on one.
If you gentlemen had the combined brains
of an amoeba...
But we're all agreed, Dr. Maxford.
It's only Bildocker who's holding out.
Oh, it is, is it? Well, let me
tell you something, Mr. Bildocker.
You've been getting into my hair
for the past 20 years,
and I meant to mention it before.
I'm going to give you four seconds...
No, you're not, Dr. Maxford.
I'm a member of this jury and I'm going
to vote the way I think is right...
...if it takes ten years.
You can fire me out of shipping...
...but you aren't going to
fire me off this jury...
...because I don't work for you on this jury.
I'm giving my services
free to the bunch of...
Who said anything about firing you,
you lunkhead?
All I said was that I...
- (Phone)
Yes? Oh, we are, are we?
Well, that's just lovely.
We're going off the air, gentlemen,
so just take your time.
You can stay here till next Wednesday.
Or you can still here
We have failed in our promise to the public.
We have muffed the most dramatic
advertising moment in commerce,
and you've made a fathead out of me.
The next nitwit who talks to me
about a contest...
...had better duck before I swing on him.
In conclusion, gentlemen,
especially you, Mr. Bildocker,
let me say that I have seen
far better heads on... umbrellas.
And so,
another broadcast slips into posterity,
as we bring to a close
the 449th Maxford House programme.
the news you wanted to hear.
But I will conclude with
what the prisoner said...
...when the hangman couldn't find the rope.
'No noose is good noose.' Ha, ha.
This is Don Hartman,
wishing you all goodnight.
They build you up to a big finish
and leave you hanging on a meat hook.
You heard what he said.
No news is good news.
He said, 'No noose is good noose.'
- So?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I wish they'd get it over with.
You start thinking about that $25,000,
or even the $5,000...
Or anything.
- You said it.
When you've got it right in your mitts,
they leave you with your
tongue hanging out.
There ought to be a law against it.
Did you really think you'd win it?
- I haven't lost it yet.
How many have you lost?
- I don't know.
But every time I've lost a contest,
I've doubled my chances on the next one.
It's the law of averages. Like when I lost the
How Many Peanuts In The Window contest.
That doubled my chances...
- They put boxes under the peanuts.
They didn't ask how many boxes
under the peanuts. They said...
'How many peanuts are in the window?'
- So I lost.
That doubled my chances on the
You Fill In The Missing Words contest.
But you lost that one too.
- Fine.
I was eight to one in the limerick contest.
- But you didn't win it, Jimmy.
That's what makes it a cinch this time.
Can't you see it over there in lights?
The guy swallows his coffee, and it says,
'If you don't sleep at night,
it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.'
That's some slogan.
- Mm-hm.
Do you get the point?
Do you understand what it means?
Yes...
- What do you mean, yes?
It's clear as crystal.
'It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.'
If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee
that keeps you awake, it's the bunk.
The bunk when you don't sleep.
- I know. I've heard it a thousand times.
I just don't understand it.
- Maybe you don't try to.
Maybe I don't.
- A kid of two could understand that.
that whole idea's just a superstition,
that instead of keeping you awake,
coffee makes you sleep.
It's simple. Coffee makes you sleep.
- It doesn't make me sleep.
He's a Viennese doctor.
Why are you so pig-headed about it?
I'm not trying to contradict you...
It's the new scientific theory.
It's the basis of my slogan.
People who think coffee keeps them awake
...so why blame it on the coffee?
So I say, 'If you don't sleep at night,
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Christmas in July" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/christmas_in_july_5521>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In