Christmas Vacation Page #7

---

if everyone just goes home.

- Before things get worse.

- Worse?

How could they

get any worse?

Take a look around you, Ellen.

We're at the threshold of hell.

Son?

I love you.

We all love you.

But this is a terrible night.

Nothing's gone right. It's a disaster.

You losing your temper with the whole

family only makes things worse.

You're too good a father

to act like this.

In years to come, you'll want your family

to remember all the love you gave us.

And how hard you tried

to make the perfect Christmas.

- Well, I just--

- You just cocked it up.

Oh, it's okay. It happens.

- Our holidays were always such a mess.

- Oh, yeah.

How did you

get through it?

I had a lot of help

from Jack Daniels.

I love you.

- Dad?

- Yeah.

Are you gonna recite

The Night Before Christmas?

No. It's your house.

It's your Christmas.

I'm retiring.

"The children were nestled

all snug in their beds...

...while visions of sugarplums

danced in their heads.

And Mama in her kerchief

and I in my cap...

...had just settled our brains

for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn,

there arose such a clatter...

...I sprang from my bed to see

what was the matter.

Away to the window,

I flew like a flash...

...tore open the shutters

and threw up the sash.

The moon on the new-fallen snow gave

a luster of midday to objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes should

appear but a miniature sleigh and...."

When what to my wondering eyes should

appear but a miniature sleigh and...."

And Eddie with a man in his

pajamas with a dog chain...

...tied to his wrists and ankles.

What the--?

Stay here.

Ho, ho, ho.

Merry Christmas, Clark.

You about ready to do some kissing?

Yes, officer, it seems

my husband's been abducted.

The man was...

...wearing a blue leisure suit,

and the plates were from Kansas.

...wearing a blue leisure suit,

and the plates were from Kansas.

He was a huge, beastly,

bulging man and--

I've never been treated

like this in my life.

I'm sorry. This is our family's

first kidnapping.

You're fired. And where's the phone?

I'm calling the police.

Hey, just hold your wad there, fella.

Clark had nothing to do with this.

This here was my idea.

All right. He's still fired,

and you are going to jail.

Oh, no. Eddie, it was my fault.

I lost my temper

when I got my bonus.

- I guess I said things I shouldn't have.

- Bonus?

How did you get a bonus?

I cut out bonuses this year.

Yeah. Thanks for telling us.

I was expecting a check.

Instead I got enrolled in a jelly club.

Seventeen years with the company. I've

gotten a bonus every year but this one.

You don't wanna give bonuses, fine!

But when people count on them

as part of their salary...

- ...well, what you did just plain--

- Sucks.

Thank you, Russ.

My...

...cousin-in-law, whose heart

is bigger than his brain--

I appreciate that, Clark.

Is innocent. I'll be more than happy

to take the rap on this.

On behalf of myself and every other

employee you rear-ended this Christmas.

On behalf of myself and every other

employee you rear-ended this Christmas.

Look...

...sometimes things look

good on paper...

...but lose their luster when you see

how it affects real folks.

I guess a healthy bottom line

doesn't mean much...

...if to get it you have to hurt

the ones you depend on.

It's people that make the difference.

Little people, like you.

So, Carl...

...whatever you got last year...

...add 20 percent.

Our pool!

Clark?

Dad.

Go away, Todd.

If you wanna come in, you are gonna

have to break down the goddamn door!

If you wanna come in, you are gonna

have to break down the goddamn door!

Merry Christmas to all

and to all a good night!

Freeze!

Not you, them!

Them!

This way, please.

- I think you've made a terrible mistake.

- I told you to freeze, mister.

May we blink?

Frank.

- Helen!

- You're all right.

Oh, I'm fine.

I'm just fine.

It was a big misunderstanding tonight.

Excuse me. Would you and

Mrs. Shirley like to step outside...

...so we can take care

of business here?

There's no business.

I'm not pressing any charges.

- What?

- It was a mistake.

Mistake? Frank, honey,

you were kidnapped.

I did something I shouldn't have,

and these people called me on it.

This is Clark Griswold

and his family.

Welcome to our home.

What's left of it.

- Release B Squad.

- What's going on here?

Remember I was toying with the notion

of suspending the Christmas bonuses?

Remember I was toying with the notion

of suspending the Christmas bonuses?

You didn't. Well, of all the cheap,

lousy ways to save a buck!

You didn't. Well, of all the cheap,

lousy ways to save a buck!

That's pretty low, mister. If I had

a rubber hose, I would beat you to--

I changed my mind.

I'm reinstating the bonuses.

Look!

Look, look!

Look!

Ruby Sue, sweetheart.

- It's Santa Claus.

- What? What's wrong?

- What?

- She thinks she sees Santa.

- Santa Claus.

- No, it's the Christmas star.

And that's all that matters tonight.

Not bonuses or gifts

or turkeys or trees.

See, kids...

...it means something different

to everybody.

Now I know what it means to me.

That ain't the frigging Christmas star.

It's a light

on the sewage treatment plant.

Sewer gas.

Don't drop that!

Play ball!

Merry Christmas, Sparky.

Merry Christmas, honey.

Come here.

I did it.

Rate this script:4.4 / 7 votes