Chronically Metropolitan Page #2

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Nothing.

That is how we

f***ing do it in Tbilisi.

Where's that?

Georgia.

The Republic of Georgia.

Oh, my cousin went

to Georgia Tech.

No, listen, where

Joseph Stalin is from.

Where the original

Santa Claus is from.

Where the most beautiful food

in the world...

What the f***, yo? Holy sh*t!

Fenton!

When did you get back in f***ing town?

Yesterday.

Oh, my God, it's been

a long time, yo.

How you holding up?

Oh, man, I'm good.

F***ing dad, though, huh?

Man after my own heart,

though. Huh?

F***, Fenton. Let's get

a f***ing drink!

Yes, please. Come on.

Holy sh*t! Fenton!

You got it, done.

Okay.

Hey. Trying to get a drink.

I see that

Maybe I'll just...

No?

Okay.

Hi. What are you doing?

Johnny, what's up, man?

What's up? What's up, dude?

Good to see you.

Can you hook me up

with some kind?

Sorry, boss. I'm off

duty tonight, all right?

Come on, man, please?

$150.

Dude!

I'm opening up

the chimney for you.

$150? Come on,

man, I can't.

Then I can't help you.

Have your parents put more money

in your checking account, yeah?

Want to help me out there or...

No, not at all. That was

too fun to watch. No?

Now, I know what happens

when a guy who can define

a credit default swap

starts slinging dope.

Mmm.

It's pretty impressive.

All in the game, yo.

- Hey!

- O-M-F-G!

Layla.

Hey, George.

Hi.

Mmm. My goodness, you've grown.

All right, all right.

You're still throwing

the best parties in New York.

Congratulations.

Thank you. Look at you.

You're all grown up.

Yeah, it happens.

What are you drinking? I'll

get you something special.

Please. Clear the f***ing bar.

Don't roofie my sister.

Are you kidding me? She's like

my little baby sister, this one.

Gross.

Hey, John, you'll have a drink.

Thank you.

Have a drink.

But tell me, what is

your dad gonna do

now that everyone's

calling him a fraud?

Same thing that I did when this town

called me a fraud. He's gonna leave.

He's not that much

of an a**hole.

You know Dad gets dizzy crossing

the George Washington Bridge.

He's not going anywhere. He's a

genius, your dad. He's a genius.

You would think that. Your pop's

like Charlie Sheen with a PhD.

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t.

This is bad.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Jess, hey.

I've got nothing to say to you.

Oh... I'll do

the talking then.

Listen. Great, I'll

be doing the leaving.

Jessie.

Jessie, wait. Jessie!

Sorry. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Coming through, sorry.

Hey. Hey.

God, would you stop

following me?

Just give me a break.

Give you a break?

For what? Leaving?

Or for writing

that f***ing story?

You know, my parents didn't

talk for months after that.

Hey, you guys-

You have to be really careful

what you say around this guy,

because you never know what's

gonna end up in print.

A**hole.

Jessie.

Jess!

Hey!

What do you want?

Don't you think we should talk?

Now?

We could go somewhere else.

Wow, you are unbelievable.

That's a big ring.

You didn't get the invite?

The invite?

I invited you to hurt you.

There you go again, love. Chatting

with good-looking strangers.

Uh, Victor, this is Fenton.

The infamous.

Don't you live in California?

Yeah, I'm back.

For us'?

No.

Yeah.

No sh*t.

How thoughtful.

Promise to write

nice things about it.

Uh...

I've never written a bad word

about a church in my life.

How about a gallery?

The wedding is at our gallery.

Yeah...

Yeah. Right.

That was on the invite.

Sweetie, we need to go. I promised

Matthew and Bjork we'd stop by.

Maybe I'll stop by, too.

To the gallery, I mean.

Check out some art.

Well, if you're serious about contemporary

art, please, come by anytime.

Yeah, no, I'm serious about it.

About contemporary art.

I love it.

Definitely stop by.

Right.

Uh, well, it has to be

before Saturday.

Okay.

The wedding is

this Saturday, Fenton.

Wedding's this Saturday?

It was on the invite.

Good to meet you.

Rough night?

Yeah.

We have to leave soon.

Your father wants us all there when

he's released from the hospital.

I'm sure because he wants

to look good for the press.

The forgiving,

supportive family and all.

Wouldn't wanna spoil

the illusion.

Jessie sent me an invite

to her wedding, didn't she?

What, you just weren't

gonna tell me?

No, I wasn't.

Why not?

Because after the way you left,

I didn't think you'd care.

You didn't think I'd care?

Let's do this another time.

No, let's do this now.

No, we're going to be late.

She's getting

married on Saturday.

And she deserves to be happy.

And what about me?

What about you?

I don't deserve

to be happy, too?

Of course,

but not at her expense.

What are you talking about?

The way you wrote about her family,

your relationship with her,

in that story was exploitive.

It felt all too familiar.

Mom, it was fiction.

You of all people should know

there's no such thing as fiction.

Just ask your father.

Layla!

We have to leave.

Ah! The welcoming

committee.

Layla!

Hey, Dad.

You look wonderful.

Thanks.

I did it just for you.

Fenton, you look like sh*t.

Good to see you, too, Dad.

Thank you for doing this.

Happy family.

And thank you both, too.

We didn't really have a choice.

Let's keep up appearances, darling,

at least until we get home.

Okay.

Oh! My phone. No!

I forgot my phone.

I'll get it.

Pamela, I can manage

on my crutches.

Hospital protocol,

Mr. Dillane.

"Protocol."

How I've missed

those hands. Hmm.

"I can't wait to have

you in my mouth."

Oh, wow.

Ew!

Anna?

Is it so hard for you?

I don't understand.

I have male friends.

Yes, I know.

Christopher, I'm not screwing them.

Well...

And please, please, please don't try

to tell me that you're ending up

in the middle of Rebecca,

or whoever the f*** it is, because

of a bad batch of Prozac.

I think you misinterpreted what

exactly that text said because...

Babe, babe...

Anna, do you want

to talk about this?

You don't understand

relationships.

Fenton, will you tell this

guy to slow down, please?

I don't want to interrupt him.

He's on the phone.

What? Why don't

you pay attention and listen?

Hey, excuse me, sir. Do you

mind slowing down a little?

- Annabella, listen...

- Listen.

Hey! Why don't you hang up

the phone and f***ing drive?

Don't piss him off.

Shut up!

I have no control

over this girl.

She's very young

and impressionable.

Clearly.

Okay, okay, I get it. Please.

It must be your prowess

in between the sheets.

Though it's been so long,

I don't really remember.

Ugh!

You know it's illegal to talk on the

phone and drive at the same time, right?

No, not illegal. Bluetooth.

Hands-free, you see?

- Look out!

- Watch it!

Watch the road, yutz!

Be civil. You wanted a united front.

Jesus.

I never said that.

You always said that!

All right, let's not go there.

Ever since you dragged us to that

Hamptons party two summers ago.

Kids, you know why?

Don't bring that up.

You wanna know why? CHRISTOPHER:

Would you please stop?

The host of the party suspected your

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