Class Rank Page #8

---

So my senior year

I decided the best way

to get Kevin to see me

in a romantic light was to flirt

with his best friend Craig.

Now I know it was wrong to

use Craig to get to Kevin.

I didn't care. I really liked Kevin.

One night at a party,

our flirting went a little to far

and we ended up making out.

Did Kevin like you after that?

No, what he hated me.

Turns out he was gay

as a French horn and

Craig was his boyfriend.

Craig broke up with him

because he cheated with me.

My point is I hated

myself for what I did.

Not only did I not

Kevin as my boyfriend.

I lost him as my friend.

Did you guys make up after that?

Yeah, we did. Summer after graduation.

What did you do?

Said I was sorry.

Hey man.

Salutations.

Saw you on T.V. You rocked it.

Thank you.

Hey are you feeling alright?

Your observational skills are acute.

You want to talk about it?

Like psychotherapy?

I was thinking more like friends.

Can I show you something in the back?

Attention shoppers,

planning a special event?

We'll be sure to visit our

catering department.

These are all originals?

Yeah, it's a little bit of everything.

Check this out.

You've captured my essence.

Where did you learn

to paint like this?

Yale.

You went to Yale?

Summa Cum Laude, bro.

I need a favor.

Why are you wearing oven mitts?

Cause the quiche is still hot.

Will you buy that?

Come on in.

That was a lot more

fun than shuffleboard.

Yes it was.

Yes it was.

And a good morning to you sir.

Did you mix up your medications,

Grandpa?

You have a certain glow

to you this morning.

Haha... I'm thrilled to be alive.

What's the matter?

The Editor-Ln-Chief has assassinated

my political aspirations.

Let me see this.

What's the matter with this?

There has never been a candidate

like Bernard K. Flannigan.

He would be an influential member

of the Board of Education.

Flattery will get me nowhere.

Although we cannot in

good conscious endorse

him for this position.

We have no doubt we

will be hearing his name

for years to come.

In fact, we think

that it would do Bernard

a great disservice

to shackle him with a four year

Board of Education commitment

instead of allowing him to spread his

wings at an out-of-state university.

Now what the hell is

the matter with that?

Grandpa, studies show those

who vote are the most inclined

to read the newspaper.

I believe you taught that in

your Political Science 401 class.

Okay, so you're out you lose.

That's it.

Go ahead and quit. Walk away.

Quit.

Been granted permission by the

principal to miss classes today.

Would you like to accompany

me as I campaign?

I'll be right back.

What am I supposed to do, huh?

Big day. 'B'.

Indeed it is. Did I receive any mail?

- No.

- Okay.

You think you still got

it chance even though

the paper didn't endorse you.

Nobody thought Truman would win

in 1948. But alas he beat Dewey

despite a three-way

split in his own party.

Got my fingers crossed for you, 'B'.

Excuse me ma'am.

Hi, I'm Zev August from LHS LIVE!

Today, we're conducting an exit poll

to get some insight

into today's election.

Would you mind sharing

with us who you voted for?

Um, I voted for the two adults.

You heard it here first.

The exit polls are trending

towards the incumbents.

However, the polls will be open

for another five hours

so there's still a chance

for Bernie Flannigan,

the hope of the high school.

Veronica I have consulted

various medical journals

and have discovered

that it is physically

impossible to choke to death

from swallowing your own pride

so with that let me say

Cu...

Is everything ok, sweetie?

Yeah, everything is good.

Good.

I need your opinion though.

Okay.

What top with this skirt?

Good evening,

good evening everyone.

I remember standing next

to Michael Dukakis in 1988.

The anticipation felt just like this.

As the mayor,

it is my duty and my honor

to read the election results.

With six thousand,

four hundred and fifty-eight votes,

the first open seat on the

Livingston School Board goes to

Mr. Ernest Del Tufo.

Thank you so much.

Congratulations. So welcome sir.

So welcome sir.

And we have one more coming.

With six thousand and

seventy-one votes,

the second open seat on the

Livingston School Board goes to...

Thank goodness.

Ms. Bindu Parikh.

The people have spoken.

I know it hurts.

It's a bump in the road.

Abraham Lincoln lost

just about every election

he was ever in until

he ran for president.

I'm well aware of the legendary

losers who have once been

in my position.

But that's not the point.

The point is those were great men.

They went out into the world and

learned how to better themselves.

And then, one day when the

opportunity came they simply

changed the world.

So there is no excuse now

for you not to go and get

in the finest university

you can find and then one day

when your time comes

you sir, will change the world.

Thank you.

Bernard, I'm sorry you didn't win

but there will always be a next time.

Yes. Yes, you are absolutely right

Ever tried. Ever failed.

No matter. Try Again.

Fail again. Fail better.

You are a remarkable young man.

Thank you.

Now, would you mind giving

my grandfather a ride

I'd like to take a solo

ride to clear my head.

It would be my pleasure.

Hold your head up high.

Thank you for not endorsing him.

You have nothing to thank me for,

you wrote the op-ed.

Now he's got no excuse to stay

at home after high school.

And you've got no excuse to stay

home and not go traveling with me.

You sneaky little person.

You want me to go to Lithuania?

Yes!

Oh, God. I can't even spell it.

Hi Bernard.

Hi.

I'm sorry that you lost.

It's ok.

We gave it our best effort.

And I'm sorry I read your mail

and for everything I said.

You didn't deserve that.

No, you were right.

If you didn't knock

on my door that day

I'd still be living

in a fantasy world.

You made me a much happier person.

That's why I'm going to do this.

Honestly, I thought she was a lesbian.

I wish that were me.

Do you think maybe you

could give me a ride home?

Yes... haha.

Excuse me Mr. Bernard.

Yes, young citizen.

Can I get your autograph?

You want my autograph?

He's a big fan. He wants to run for

the Board of Education next year.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

Shall we go?

Do you want the first

seat or the second?

Second is great.

- You're ready?

- Ready.

Veronica will you go

to the prom with me?

Definitely.

I have the perfect dress.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote