Clerks Page #16

The INDECISIVE CUSTOMER is a tad flabbergasted, but not put

off.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

Well, have you heard anything about

either of them?

RANDAL does his level best to not get involved.

RANDAL:

(reading)

No.

The INDECISIVE CUSTOMER challenges him.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

(in disbelief)

You've never heard anybody say

anything about either movie?

RANDAL (O.S.)

I find it's best to stay out of other

people's affairs.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

(with a new

determination)

Well, how about these two movies?

(holds up the same

two)

RANDAL continues to read his paper, not looking up.

RANDAL:

They suck.

The INDECISIVE CUSTOMER smirks smugly at RANDAL and his paper.

She has caught him.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

I just held up the same two movies.

You're not even paying attention.

RANDAL:

No, I wasn't.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

I don't think your manager would

appreciate...

RANDAL:

(turning the page)

I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

I beg your pardon!

RANDAL:

(reading on)

Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to

trick me.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

(defending herself)

I only pointed out that you weren't

paying any attention to what I was

saying.

RANDAL:

(turning page and

reading)

I hope it feels good.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

You hope what feels good?

RANDAL:

I hope it feels so good to be right.

There is nothing more exhilarating

than pointing out the shortcomings

of others, is there?

The INDECISIVE CUSTOMER wears a face that belies utter

disbelief in the audacity of this most lackadaisical video

clerk. The unmoving newspaper illustrates the total

disinterest of the news-hungry RANDAL. The INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

shakes her head in disgust and throws the movies back onto

the wall.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

(in a huff)

Well this is the last time I ever

rent here...

RANDAL:

You'll be missed.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER

(losing it altogether)

Screw you!

She storms out. RANDAL is offended. He hops over the counter

and whips the door open.

RANDAL:

(calling after her)

You're not allowed to rent here

anymore!

RANDAL closes the door and stands there, momentarily, totally

appalled by her exiting remark, then shakes his head.

RANDAL:

Screw me!

He reaches behind the counter and grabs a ring of keys.

Exiting, he locks the door behind him from the outside, gives

it a tug to ensure its security, and storms off in the

opposite direction from the woman.

CUT TO:

INT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. DAY

DANTE is staring, open-mouthed, at something O.C. RANDAL

hurls the door open and immediately launches into his tirade.

RANDAL:

You'll never believe what this unruly

customer just said...

DANTE:

(a hand up to urge

him to hush)

Wait.

RANDAL:

(looking around)

She's in here?

DANTE:

This guy is going through all of the

eggs. Look.

An ODD MAN sits on the floor, surrounded by cartons of eggs,

all opened. He grabs a carton from the cooler case, pops it

open, and examines each egg carefully.

DANTE (O.S.)

This has been going on for twenty

minutes.

RANDAL and DANTE study the O.C. oddity.

RANDAL:

What's he looking for?

DANTE:

He said he has to find a perfect

dozen.

RANDAL:

Perfect dozen.

DANTE:

Each egg has to be perfect.

RANDAL:

The quest isn't going well?

DANTE:

Obviously not. Look at all the cartons

that didn't make the grade.

The ODD MAN holds an egg up to the light and studies it from

several different angles.

RANDAL (O.S.)

Why doesn't he just mix and match?

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