Clerks Page #20

CUSTOMER:

(studying box)

This doesn't even have Burt Reynolds

in it.

RANDAL:

Hey, neither did ET; but that was a

great movie, right?

DANTE opens the door and leans in.

DANTE:

Can you come next door? I gotta make

a phone call.

RANDAL:

(to DANTE)

Smokey Three:
thumbs up, am I right?

DANTE:

The best Burtless movie ever made.

DANTE exits. RANDAL gives his customers the what-did-I-tell-

you look.

CUT TO:

INT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. DAY

THE CAT lies on the counter. Pull back to reveal RANDAL as

he rings up an order. The CUSTOMER pets the cat, smiling.

CUSTOMER:

Awww, he's so cute. What's his name?

RANDAL:

Lenin's Tomb.

Dolly over to DANTE, on the phone.

DANTE:

Hello, is Mr. Synder there? This is

Dante... Did he say if he was on his

way here?... Here... The convenience

store... I know, but the other guy

called out this morning and Mr.

Synder asked me to cover until he

got here. He said he'd be here by

noon, but it's one-thirty now, so

I... Excuse me... Vermont?!... No,

that can't be; I talked to him this

morning... He left at what time?...

He really went to Vermont?... When

the hell was someone going to tell

me?... He promised he was coming by

noon!... Jesus... When does he get

back?!... TUESDAY!... You've gotta

be f***ing kidding me!... I've got a

hockey game at two, and the f***ing

shutters are jammed closed, and he's

in Vermont?... I'm not even supposed

to be here today!!

(deep sigh)

So I'm stuck here till closing?...

This is just great... I just can't

believe... I'm sorry, I didn't mean

to yell at you... No... No, I'll be

all right... Well, that's all I can

do, right?... Thanks.

He hangs up. RANDAL joins him.

RANDAL:

Vermont?

DANTE:

Can you believe this?!

RANDAL:

He didn't mention it when he called

you this morning?

DANTE:

Not a f***ing word! Slippery sh*t!

RANDAL:

So, what-you're stuck here all day?

DANTE:

F***!

RANDAL:

Why'd you apologize?

DANTE:

What?

RANDAL:

I heard you apologize. Why? You have

every right in the world to be mad.

DANTE:

I know.

RANDAL:

That seems to be the leitmotif in

your life; ever backing down.

DANTE:

I don't back down.

RANDAL:

Yes, you do. You always back down.

You assume blame that isn't yours,

you come in when called as opposed

to enjoying your day off, you buckle

like a belt.

DANTE:

You know what pisses me off the most?

RANDAL:

The fact that I'm right about your

buckling?

DANTE:

I'm going to miss the game.

RANDAL:

Because you buckled.

DANTE:

Would you shut the hell up with that

sh*t? It's not helping.

RANDAL:

Don't yell at me, pal.

DANTE:

Sorry.

RANDAL:

See? There you go again.

DANTE:

I can't believe I'm going to miss

the game!

RANDAL:

At least we're stuck here together.

DANTE:

You've got a customer.

RANDAL walks away.

RANDAL (O.S.)

What? What do you want?!

DANTE shakes his head in frustration and picks up the phone

again.

DANTE:

Sanford? Dante... I can't play

today... I'm stuck at work... I know

I'm not scheduled, but-just forget

it. I can't play... Neither can

Randal... He's working too...

RANDAL comes back. DANTE rolls his eyes to the ceiling.

DANTE:

(getting an idea)

Wait a second. Do we have to play at

the park?... Hold on...

(to RANDAL)

Do you feel limber?

CUT TO:

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