Clerks Page #19

DANTE:

You think you get stupid questions?

You should hear the barrage of stupid

questions I get.

MONTAGE INSERT #3/DUMB QUESTIONS

A series of people standing in various locations throughout

the convenience store, asking truly dumb questions.

FIRST:

(holding coffee)

What do you mean there's no ice?

You mean I've gotta drink this coffee

hot?!

SECOND:

(holding up item from

clearly marked $.99

display)

How much?

THIRD:

(peeking in door)

Do you sell hubcaps?

END INSERT:

RANDAL:

See? You vented. Don't you feel better

now?

DANTE:

No.

RANDAL:

Why not?

DANTE:

Because my ex-girlfriend is getting

married.

RANDAL:

Jesus, you got a one-track mind.

It's always Caitlin, Caitlin,

Caitlin...

DANTE:

(jerking head toward

door)

Veronica!

DANTE gives RANDAL a shove to shut him up. VERONICA enters

the store, carrying books and something covered with aluminum

foil.

VERONICA:

What happened to home by twelve?

DANTE is suddenly by her side, taking the books from under

her arm.

DANTE:

He still hasn't shown up. Why aren't

you in class?

VERONICA:

Lit 101 got canceled, so I stopped

home and brought you some lunch.

DANTE:

What is it?

VERONICA:

Peanut butter and jelly with the

crusts cut off. What do you think it

is? It's lasagne.

DANTE:

Really?

(kisses her forehead)

You're the best.

VERONICA:

I'm glad you've calmed down a bit.

(to RANDAL)

Hi, Randal.

RANDAL (O.S.)

(exaggeratively

impressed)

Thirty-seven!

DANTE:

(to O.C.)

Shut up!

(to VERONICA)

Yes, I've calmed down, I'm still not

happy about it, but I've been able

to deal.

RANDAL makes loud slurping noises from O.C.

DANTE:

(to O.C.)

Why don't you go back to the video

store?

RANDAL walks past the two, and pats VERONICA on the head. He

exits.

VERONICA:

You had to tell him.

DANTE:

I had to tell someone. He put it

into perspective.

VERONICA:

What did he say?

DANTE:

At least he wasn't thirty-six.

VERONICA:

And that made you feel better?

DANTE:

And he said most of them are college

guys, I've never met or seen.

VERONICA:

The ostrich syndrome: if you don't

see it...

DANTE:

...it isn't there. Yes.

VERONICA:

Thank you for being rational.

DANTE:

Thank you for the lasagne.

VERONICA:

You couldn't get these shutters open?

DANTE:

I called a locksmith and he said the

earliest he could get here it

tomorrow.

VERONICA:

Bummer, Well, I've gotta head back

for the one-thirty class.

DANTE:

What time do you get finished?

VERONICA:

Eight. But I have a sorority meeting

till nine, so I'll be back before

you close. Can we go out and get

some coffee?

DANTE:

Sure.

VERONICA:

Good.

(kisses him)

I'll see you when you close, then.

Enjoy the lasagne.

She exits. DANTE leans against the magazine rack with his

lasagne, contemplative. RANDAL pops his head in and makes

the loud slurping noise again.

CUT TO:

INT:
VIDEO STORE. DAY

RANDAL is recommending titles to potential customers.

RANDAL:

All right, now if you're really

feeling dangerous tonight, then Smokey

and the Bandit Three is the movie

you must rent.

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