Clerks Page #6

VERONICA:

How do you know they're taking the

right amount of change? Or even paying

for what they take?

DANTE:

Theoretically, people see money on

the counter and nobody around, they

think they're being watched.

VERONICA:

Honesty through paranoia. Why do you

smell like shoe polish?

DANTE:

I had to use shoe polish to make

that sign. The smell won't come off.

VERONICA:

Do you think anyone can see us down

here?

DANTE:

Why? You wanna have sex or something?

VERONICA:

(sarcastic)

Ooh! Can we?!

DANTE:

Really?

VERONICA:

I was kidding.

DANTE:

Yeah, right. You can't get enough of

me.

VERONICA:

Typically male point of view.

DANTE:

How do you figure?

VERONICA:

You show some bedroom proficiency,

and you think you're gods. What about

what we do for you?

DANTE:

Women? Women, as lovers, are all

basically the same: they just have

to be there.

VERONICA:

"Be there?"

DANTE:

Making a male climax is not all that

challenging:
insert somewhere close

and preferably moist; thrust; repeat.

VERONICA:

How flattering.

DANTE:

Now, making a woman cum... therein

lies a challenge.

VERONICA:

Oh, you think so?

DANTE:

A girl makes a guy cum, it's standard.

A guy makes a girl cum, it's talent.

VERONICA:

And I actually date you?

DANTE:

Something wrong?

VERONICA:

I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan,

it takes more than that to get a guy

off. Just "being there"-as you put

it-is not enough.

DANTE:

I touched a nerve.

VERONICA:

I'm astonished to hear you trivialize

my role in our sex life.

DANTE:

It wasn't directed at you. I was

making a broad generalization.

VERONICA:

You were making a generalization

about "broads!"

DANTE:

These are my opinions based on my

experiences with the few women who

were good enough to sleep with me.

VERONICA:

How many?

DANTE:

How many what?

VERONICA:

How many girls have you slept with?

DANTE:

How many different girls? Didn't we

already have this discussion once?

VERONICA:

We might have; I don't remember.

How many?

DANTE:

Including you?

VERONICA:

It better be up to and including me.

DANTE:

(pause to count)

Twelve.

VERONICA:

You've slept with twelve different

girls?

DANTE:

Including you; yes.

Pause. She slaps him.

DANTE:

What the hell was that for?

VERONICA:

You're a pig.

DANTE:

Why'd you hit me?

VERONICA:

Do you know how many different men

I've had sex with?

DANTE:

Do I get to hit you after you tell

me?

VERONICA:

Three.

DANTE:

Three?

VERONICA:

Three including you.

DANTE:

You've only had sex with three

different people?

VERONICA:

I'm not the pig you are.

DANTE:

Who?

VERONICA:

You!

DANTE:

No; who were the three, besides me?

VERONICA:

John Franson and Rob Stanslyk.

DANTE:

(with true admiration)

Wow. That's great. That's something

to be proud of.

VERONICA:

I am. And that's why you should feel

like a pig. You men make me sick.

You'll sleep with anything that says

yes.

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