Clerks Page #7

DANTE:

Animal, vegetable, or mineral.

VERONICA:

Vegetable meaning paraplegic.

DANTE:

They put up the least amount of

struggle.

VERONICA:

After dropping a bombshell like that,

you owe me. Big.

DANTE:

All right. Name it.

VERONICA:

I want you to come with me on Monday.

DANTE:

Where?

VERONICA:

To school. There's a seminar about

getting back into a scholastic program

after a lapse in enrollment.

DANTE:

Can't we ever have a discussion

without that coming up?

VERONICA:

It's important to me, Dante. You

have so much potential that just

goes to waste in this pit. I wish

you'd go back to school.

DANTE:

Jesus, would you stop? You make my

head hurt when you talk about this.

VERONICA stands, letting DANTE'S head hit the floor.

DANTE:

Sh*t! Why are we getting up?

VERONICA:

Unlike you, I have a class in forty-

five minutes.

A handsome young man (WILLAM) is standing at the counter.

VERONICA reacts to him.

VERONICA:

(surprised)

Willam!

WILLAM:

Ronnie! How are you? You work here

now?

VERONICA:

(locks arms with DANTE)

No, I'm just visiting my man.

(to DANTE)

Dante, this is Willam Black.

(to WILLAM)

This is Dante Hicks, my boyfriend.

DANTE:

How are you? Just the soda?

WILLAM:

And a pack of cigarettes.

(to VERONICA; paying)

Are you still going to Seton Hall?

VERONICA:

No, I transferred into Monmouth this

year. I was tired of missing him.

(squeezes DANTE'S arm)

WILLAM:

Do you still talk to Sylvan?

VERONICA:

I just talked to her on Monday. We

still hang out on weekends.

WILLAM:

(leaving)

That's cool. Well-you two lovebirds

take it easy, all right?

VERONICA:

I will. Take it easy.

WILLAM:

Bye.

(exits)

VERONICA:

Bye

(to DANTE)

That was Snowball.

DANTE:

Why do you call him that?

VERONICA:

Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job

thing.

DANTE:

What do you mean?

VERONICA:

After he gets a blow job, he likes

to have the cum spit back into his

mouth while kissing. It's called

snowballing.

DANTE:

He requested this?

VERONICA:

He gets off on it.

DANTE:

Sylvan can be talked into anything.

VERONICA:

Why do you say that?

DANTE:

Like you said-she snowballed him.

VERONICA:

Sylvan? No; I snowballed him.

DANTE:

Yeah, right.

VERONICA:

I'm serious...

A moment of silence as DANTE'S chuckles fade to comprehension.

DANTE:

You sucked that guy's dick?

VERONICA:

Yeah. How do you think I know he

liked...

DANTE:

(panicky)

But... but you said you only had sex

with three guys! You never mentioned

him!

VERONICA:

That's because I never had sex with

him!

DANTE:

You sucked his dick!

VERONICA:

We went out a few times. We didn't

have sex, but we fooled around.

DANTE:

(massive panic attack)

Oh my God! Why did you tell me you

only slept with three guys?

VERONICA:

Because I did only sleep with three

guys! That doesn't mean I didn't

just go with people.

DANTE:

Oh my God-I feel so nauseous...

VERONICA:

I'm sorry, Dante. I thought you

understood.

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