Clerks Page #9

He should be here soon.

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER

It's not like it's a demanding job.

I'd like to get paid to sit on my

ass and watch TV. The other day I

walked in there and that sonofabitch

was sleeping.

DANTE:

I'm sure he wasn't sleeping.

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER

You calling me a liar?

DANTE:

No; he was probably just resting his

eyes.

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER

What the hell is that? Resting his

eyes! It's not like he's some

goddamned air traffic controller!

DANTE:

Actually, that's his night job.

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER

Such a wiseass. But go ahead. Crack

wise. That's why you're jockeying a

register in some f***ing local

convenience store instead of doing

an honest day's work.

(tosses tape on counter)

I got no more time to bullshit around

waiting for that sonofabitch. You

make sure this gets back. The number's

eight-twelve-Wynarski. And I wanted

to get a damn movie, too.

DANTE:

If you'll just tell me the title of

your rental choice, I'll have him

hold it for you.

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER

(storming out)

Don't hurt yourself. I'm going to

Big Choice Video instead.

He storms out. Dante lifts a ring of keys from the counter.

DANTE:

(in a whisper)

You forgot your keys.

The half-filled trash can swallows the ring of keys.

CUT TO:

EXT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. DAY

Another VIDEO-ANXIOUS CUSTOMER leans against the video store

door. A hapless RANDAL drifts by and stops. He glances at

the door, peers inside, and gives the door a tug.

V.A. CUSTOMER

The guy ain't here yet.

RANDAL:

You're kidding. It's almost eleven-

thirty!

V.A. CUSTOMER

I know. I've been here since eleven.

RANDAL:

(kicks the door)

Man! I hate it when I can't rent

videos!

V.A. CUSTOMER

I would've went to Big Choice, but

the tape I want is right there on

the wall.

RANDAL:

Which one?

V.A. CUSTOMER

Dental School.

RANDAL:

You came for that too? That's the

movie I came for.

V.A. CUSTOMER

I have first dibs.

RANDAL:

Says who?

V.A. CUSTOMER

(suddenly snotty)

Says me. I've been here for half an

hour. I'd call that first dibs.

RANDAL:

Ain't gonna happen, my friend. I'm

getting that tape.

V.A. CUSTOMER

Like hell you are!

RANDAL:

I'll bet you twenty bucks you don't

get to rent that tape.

V.A. CUSTOMER

Twenty bucks?

RANDAL:

Twenty bucks.

V.A. CUSTOMER

All right, a**hole, you're on.

RANDAL walks away. The VERY ANXIOUS CUSTOMER stands like a

sentry at post. The IMPATIENT CUSTOMER storms up.

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER

You see a pair of keys lying around

here somewhere?

CUT TO:

INT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. DAY

RANDAL dances in, attempting a soft-shoe routine. He sees

DANTE and stops dead, midshuffle.

DANTE:

You're late.

RANDAL:

What the hell are you doing here? I

thought you were playing hockey at

one.

DANTE:

The boss called. Arthur fell ill.

RANDAL:

Why are the shutters closed?

DANTE:

Someone jammed gum in the locks.

RANDAL:

Bunch of savages in this town.

DANTE:

That's what I said.

RANDAL:

Sh*t, if I'd known you were working,

I would've come even later.

A pile of videocassettes is plopped onto the counter, with a

single key on top. RANDAL balances the pile of tapes on his

head.

RANDAL:

What time do you have to stay till?

DANTE:

He assured me that he'd be here by

twelve.

RANDAL:

What smells like shoe polish?

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