Click Page #9

Synopsis: Michael Newman (Sandler) is a hard working family man, who must please his boss (Hasselhoff), in order to get promoted. Problem is he gets less time with his family, and wishes for a remote in which he can control his life. This soon comes true for Newman, when he meets Morty (Walken), a crazy sales clerk, who has the ultimate remote. A remote in which he can do anything, including muting, skipping and dubbing his life. He finds this to be the opportunity in which he can not only skip every argument, but also skip to his promotion. He sees this as a good idea, until the remote goes horribly wrong.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Fantasy
Director(s): Frank Coraci
Production: Sony Pictures Releasing
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 3 wins & 11 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.4
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
33%
PG-13
Year:
2006
107 min
$137,340,146
Website
11,098 Views


Michael, it doesn't have to end now.

Ben!

Ben!

Ben!

Ben!

Dad? Dad?

Dad, what are you doing?

Are you okay?

- Oh, my God.

- Help! Help!

- Dad! Dad!

- Help!

Ben, Ben.

Family. Family. Family.

What?

Family. Family. Family comes first.

Family comes first.

Honeymoon. Honeymoon.

Honeymoon. I love you.

Samantha. Samantha.

I didn't make 200, but I love you.

I love you.

Bill, Bill, Bill.

I'm sorry.

Michael.

The note you wrote her,

it's in your pocket.

Forever and ever, babe.

It's time to go.

- Where am I?

- You're in Bed Bath & Beyond, sir.

I was just watching you sleep.

You looked like you were having

a crazy dream.

What?

You're not supposed to lay

in the beds, but I do sometimes.

I'm back in the store?

I'm young again. I'm young again.

Well, I mean,

you're not "young" young.

I'm young.

You're kind of on the back nine.

No, no. No. I'm just teeing off, baby.

Look at you.

You want a friend? You want a friend?

I'll be your friend, baby.

I'll be your friend. I'll be your...

Oh, my God!

Yes, my crappy car!

You mediocre, middle-class

piece of sh*t!

I love you!

Pop, Pop. Pop.

There he is. There he is.

- What's wrong? What happened?

- Nothing's wrong.

Everything's incredible, Ma.

I just wanted to tell you I love you.

- I love you.

- I love you so much.

You gotta tell me how you do

the quarter trick, it's driving me crazy.

A magician never reveals

his secrets.

However, if you invite us over

for dinner more...

You come over tomorrow night, and

the night after that. Any time you want.

- Stop, I'm gonna have a heart attack.

- No, I have the heart attacks.

Thank you so much for giving

birth to me, I know it hurt. Okay?

You have no idea. But, honey, please,

stay off the bong pipe.

I can't promise you that.

Okay. I'm up.

What do you think?

If you massage me first.

Okay, let's go to sleep.

Mom, wake up!

There's a crazy noise downstairs.

What the heck is going on?

Hey, do you mind?

I am trying to concentrate.

Here I am, staying up all night...

...trying to come up with activities

for our Fourth of July camping trip...

...but you won't let me think!

You want time to think? Why don't you

think about the fact that you just wo...

What did you just say?

Yes, you heard me.

If you keep up this weird attitude...

...I won't be able to work for a year

and have to plan 10 more vacations.

- That make you happy?

- Did you eat a bad Yodel?

Give me those big lips.

- What's going on down here?

- Ben. Ben!

Come here. Oh, my God.

I missed you, I missed you.

Look at you, boy.

I'm gonna finish the tree house.

We're gonna sleep in it next weekend.

From now on, we're gonna exercise

and I'm not gonna wear a Speedo.

- All right!

- All right.

And you. Nice jump! I love you.

One day, you are gonna be

the hottest chick alive.

But you still gotta have brains.

So tomorrow I'm gonna

teach you calculus.

You know calculus?

I knew you'd call me on that.

Your mom will teach you.

Now, get your rest, because tomorrow

we're going camping!

I know! It's gonna be the best!

- Put a sweater on! Don't take it off!

- Okay, Daddy.

Oh, and Sundance!

Doggie years go by very quick,

so it's time to enjoy the real thing.

Yeah, go get some, baby.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

No. Go to Sundance, not the duck.

They told me at the pet store

it was a female.

They lied to me, I guess.

- You staying downstairs tonight?

- Why? That's getting you going?

It's Fourth of July,

I'm gonna celebrate with my wife.

Take my time, massage her,

make sure she is fully satisfied.

But you know, it isn't

the Fourth of July, it's only the 2nd.

That's even better.

Happy 2nd of July, honey.

- Think I like this holiday.

- Yeah?

I'm gonna go change

into my Pocahontas costume.

- I'll see you upstairs.

- I'll bring the duck.

Okay, I gotta call my dad

and tell him to get the old tent ready.

"Like I said,

'Good guys need a break.'

I know you'll do

the right thing this time.

Love, Morty.

P. S:

Your wife's rocking body

still drives me crazy."

Okay, Morty.

Hey, who wants

to have a pillow fight?

Rate this script:3.8 / 4 votes

Steve Koren

Steve Koren is an American screenwriter. He co-wrote the movies Bruce Almighty, Click, Superstar, and A Night at the Roxbury, and wrote for Saturday Night Live and Seinfeld. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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