Cloud 9 Page #5

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We were so close

to a million dollars.

You know, when those cops came in, I was

shaking the guy's hand. I was shaking his hand.

We had a verbal agreement

for a million-dollar deal.

I'm going after that million dollars,

and we're gonna get it.

- Okay, you're out.

- Ah, Wong came through.

Not you, Mr. Howell.

Sleeping beauty here.

- Come on, buddy.

- What happened?

- You're out.

- Who are you?

- Come on. Here we go. Nice and slow.

- L...

- All right.

- All right?

Wait. Oh, wait, one more thing.

You're way off base, bud.

No jury in California ever recognized

a verbal commitment as a contract.

- How do you know?

- Well, I'm a... I'm a lawyer.

- Huh-huh!

- Here's my card. I specialize in dog bites.

- Perfect.

- Okay.

- You're always workin', aren't ya?

- I hope Crystal's okay.

You know what can happen

to an innocent, young girl in a place like this?

- Have you ever seen that movie

Women Behind Bars?

- She'll be fine.

Yeah. You have more

to worry about...

you with your highlights

and your green eyes.

You're being too rough! I was

not stalking Pamela Anderson! She knows me!

I used to be David Hasselhoff's stand-in.

- Hey, Billy!

- Hey, Chris, how ya doin'?

Oh, I'm all right!

Okay, guys, just step around the counter.

I'll get your things.

- Ah! Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

I was so worried about you. Did you ever

see that movie Women Behind Bars?

I mean, if that could happen to women,

it can happen to men too.

- Damn. A match made in heaven.

- Heh!

It's okay.

Where's Wong?

No Wong here.

- Well, he paid our bail, right?

- Julie did.

Thanks. I'll pay you back.

Oh, you bet you will.

Jesus, Billy.

Breaking into Anthony Hopkins's house?

- We needed the proper setting.

- Let's understand each other.

If Crystal wasn't so crazy

about that dummy over there...

I would have left

your asses in here.

Oh, and, uh,

because of your "stripper volleyball"...

- the girls don't have a job to go back to.

- I'm gonna work that all out.

Yeah, I'm sure you will. But for who?

Come on, ladies.

- I'll... I'll call you?

- Mm-hmm.

Okay. Bye.

She was a little rough, huh?

Yeah, could have been rougher.

At least we didn't end up as somebody's b*tches.

Hey, guys!

Glad I caught you.

I certainly hope you're here to see

somebody else, 'cause I thought I made it clear:

- I never want to see your face again.

- I don't think you understand.

Oh, well, sir, I don't think you understand.

Let me explain it to you.

We represent a huge,

multibillion-dollar beverage corporation...

and can in no way afford to be associated with

nickel-and-dime, low-life hustlers like yourself.

- See?

- Ha-ha! See, what you don't understand...

is how close Mr. Hopkins and I are.

I mean, if he's said it to me once,

he's said it to me a thousand times:

- Mi casa es su casa.

- Ah, that's good.

I know it's not going to be easy to insult you,

Mr. Cole, but let me give it one more shot.

I want nothing to do

with people of your kind.

Excuse me. Drive, Weiner.

I didn't find that insulting at all.

Actually, you know, you can

call me anytime. You got my number!

Open up!

We know you're in there.

- Hello.

- Can we talk to you for a second?

Eh...

- You just passing by?

- We've been thinking.

We... We love playing volleyball,

but we just wanna be the best.

Good. That's what I want.

I want you to be the best.

We don't want anymore

to do bachelor parties and company picnics.

We just want to play volleyball.

Like, legitimately for,

like, A VPor AAU.

And what about Olympics?

Even Russia has team.

I do understand.

But I want you to do

this bachelor party coming up.

You can get a lot of money for that.

Got some very polite lawyers.

I know that sounds like an oxymoron.

And then I want you to go to Vegas,

do some personal appearances...

maybe a car show or two,

and after six months or so...

then you can go do that... you

know, that Olympic thing and

win all those ribbons and stuff.

Look, my friend,

why don't we just cut the caca de vaca?

You know, can't we just

work something halfways?

No.

It's Billy Cole's way...

or the highway.

Thanks.

- All right! Yeah, it's about time!

- Hey, you guys, settle down.

Settle down.

We're gonna have a good time.

I want you guys to

put your hands together loud and strong...

for Wong's Bonsais!

Ha-ha! Everybody smiling.

- Everybody happy. Here we go. Have fun, have fun.

- Whoo!

- Go on!

- Come on, come on!

Mud, mud, mud, mud!

Mud, mud, mud, mud!

Pop, I'm with ya till

the wheels fall off.

But this ain't what we signed up for.

This ain't cool.

Uhh!

- Oh, that's it!

- Wait!

Come here.

Come here!

Just relax.

Yeah! Yeah!

This is great!

I have something to say.

Everything I've done...

up until now has been

for all of us...

notjust for me.

So I ain't apologizing

to nobody.

I have been a little bullheaded.

I haven't really listened to anybody.

Actually, I've...

been kind of a putz.

So... I guess I am apologizing.

I just hope from now on

we can just maybe...

just...

make a clean slate of it

and start all over again.

Billy, we're here, aren't we?

From now on,

there ain't gonna be no B.S.

Tommy Z called. He said if you guys

wanna come dance over there...

you're welcome

to come anytime you want.

Stick around here...

you gotta work.

Because you're gonna be part of something...

part of something good, something damn good.

You're gonna be part of a team.

We still get to keep

our tips, da?

There ain't gonna be

no more tips...

'cause you ain't gonna work

any more bachelor parties...

and you ain't gonna work

any more conventions...

and when you play volleyball you're not

gonna be playing in the goddamn mud!

You're gonna play real volleyball.

I've got some money here...

$500...

for each side.

It's $250 apiece...

and so you economize from now on,

because, you know...

the big money's comin'in.

Here's your whistle.

Let's go to work.

- Whoo!

- Let's do it!

- All right, ladies.

- Come on, girls.

- Warm up.

- Come on.

- Listen up, girls.

- Come on, girls. Let's do it.

Guess you are pretty serious

about this thing.

I'm as serious

as a heart attack, son.

- We got ourselves a team.

- Yeah. Fo' sure.

Ho. Speak of the devil, and he's bound

to show up. I got a hot one for you today.

- Save it for me. Where's Julie?

- She just walked out the door.

You may be able to catch her

if you go out back.

- Hoo-hoo-hoo.

- Well. I'm back.

- That's the b*tch you tellin' me about, right?

- Yeah. That's it. Let's party.

- Back off, a**holes.

- Sweetie, we dropped a lot of

money and got nothing for it.

- Get off of me!

- Relax, honey. Come on.

We're just gonna have a little fun.

- Get off!

- No. Hey, take it easy. Come on, honey.

Hey, hey, hey!

Why don't you guys go

before I get hurt?

- Why don't you mind your own business, old man?

- Oh, that hurt.

- She is my business.

- Well, I think we're gonna

buy part of your business.

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