Cloud 9 Page #4

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All right, here's to the ladies.

You guys were great today! Yeah.

- Well, damn, was it somethin' I said?

- We got beat!

I no like competition "wolleyball."

And they broke four of my nails!

We were a joke.

People were making fun of us.

Yeah, they were treatin' us

like we were... sex objects.

Champagne's right.

I mean, in here it's every girl for herself.

Out there I felt like

we were a part of something.

Yeah, and we was as good

as those white Westside b*tches...

who pay my cousin minimum wage

to clean their toilets.

Look, look, look. Ladies, ladies.

All you guys gotta do is win...

and you're gonna turn

theirjeers into cheers.

Easy for you to say, Tenspot.

They weren't laughin' at you.

Let 'em laugh all they want.

I don't give a damn if they laugh...

as long as they keep throwing

cash like that around.

What other team do you know

that made $2,900 in tips?

Twenty-nine?

Billy said we got 2,500.

It is... It is 25.

I forgot to carry the one.

You know how I do that sometimes?

The one?

- Tenspot, you holdin'out on us?

- No!

'Cause I've been workin' too long and too hard

and gettin' sand in all the wrong places...

to take that from a brother.

Ooh, my phone. My phone, itjust...

Hello? Hello?

Billy Cole Enterprises.

Uh-huh. Who's calling?

Cabo Wabo Tequila?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The girls?

The girls! Yeah, they were great today.

I was just telling them

that they were great today.

You want to talk to us

about sponsorship?

Well, yeah, look. I'm sure that Mr. Cole

will be calling you back momentarily.

He's indisposed right now. And can I tell you,

I think your tequila is jammin'!

Yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you.

Ladies, I think we just got us a sponsor.

Now, make sure you call me the minute

Anthony Hopkins gets in the car.

Yeah, man. I promise you

I'm gonna take care of you. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. All right, all right.

Cool, cool.

Hello. How do I look?

- Where did you get those clothes?

- Up there.

Those are Mr. Hopkins's.

You stole Anthony Hopkins's clothes?

We break into the man's house,

and you stole his clothes?

I didn't steal nothin'! I'm just borrowing them.

I think I look pretty dashing, don't you?

I think you should dash upstairs

and change clothes.

What in the hell is that?

- Carlos, right?

- S.

Yeah.

Carlos, you're a houseboy.

You don't come in here and just plop down

on the couch and just start eating. Right?

- S.

- Okay. No sittee on couchee.

- S.

- You don't come in here...

until I ringee... bellee.

- Comprende?

- S.

Okay, ndale, ndale.

Oh, Carlos.

From now on

your name is Chin Cho.

S.

I thought we needed some houseboys.

You know, give it a little class.

I got him from Wong.

By the way...

we're gonna need a butler.

Your name will be... Hamilton.

Ho! Get the door, will ya?

- Where are you going?

- Hey, I need an entrance.

You need a sedative

is what you need, man.

Hamilton.

What kind of name is that?

Hey, uh, Hopkins resi... Ooh, I mean, who...

who is at the door of Mr. Billy Cole?

Open it!

All right!

Ah, gentlemen, gentlemen, please,

entre, entre. Yes. Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Oh, those are some nice, red shirts.

- What are y'all? Y'all twins?

- No, no, no. He got the extra pocket.

- I like pens.

- Hello.

- I'm Billy Cole.

- Ooh, Mr. Cole...

may I present Jim Buckner...

and this handsome gentleman with

the two pockets on his shirt...

is Big Dan Wiener.

Actually, it's, uh, Weiner, really.

I don't know 'bout you, but I'd rather

be known as a big wiener than a big Weiner.

Ohh.

That'll be all, Hamilton.

Y'all need to drink

some of that tequila.

Step into my parlor.

- Parlor!

- Ooh!

Well.

Well, this is, uh,

quite an impressive place you have here.

Well, just a little

weekend getaway.

- Hey.

- Huh?

- Is that a Golden Globe?

- Huh? No!

This? Huh! No!

This is a... nutcracker.

Would you like one?

Maybe later.

- Drink?

- Uhh...

Tequila, yeah, sure! Yeah.

Geez! Oh.

Chin Cho...

uh, Cabo Wabo.

Tres... tequila.

Oh! Huh! S, s.

Yeah.

Just had him a little while.

He used to work for the mayor of Tijuana.

- What a great place.

- Yeah. Well, it's good to

move up in the world, hmm?

- Right.

- In life, yeah.

- Mr. Cole, we're not gonna take

up a lot of your valuable time.

- No.

But, Mr. Cole...

- I think we have what you're

gonna find a very attractive proposal.

- Yeah.

You see, my company feels

that your volleyball team...

is the perfect delivery system

for our alcoholic beverage.

- Uh-huh.

- And that tournament...

- has gotten such a response that it's just amazing.

- Sure.

- No one can talk about anything except your girls.

- No.

And so what we're gonna do

is have your girls come along with us...

and we're gonna do a promotional tour

through bars and nightclubs across the country.

Then we'll set up

an opponent in each one of those cities...

you know, somebody

that we can guarantee that they can beat.

Not unlike, uh, oh, say,

Harlem Globetrotters or WWF wrestling.

- You know?

- Right.

Well...

I think we're...

We all are headed

in the right direction here...

- Oh, yeah.

- And these girls are gonna take us there.

But then again,

I'll just let you be the judge.

- Oh? What? You mean, they're here right now?

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, well, l...

- Yeah, I don't know if we're

dressed. I mean, we just...

No, no, they... they like guys

in, uh, bowling outfits.

- Get out. No way.

- Oh?

- Yeah.

- Oh, I told you.

A little music

to set the mood?

- Okay then!

- That'd be great.

All right.

- Tell Jackson... to pick up some more booze.

- Aha.

Holy mo... Hey, hey, babe!

Hey, babe, isn't Hopkins

out of town?

- Yeah, he's in England.

- Well, either somebody broke into his house...

or he's having

a heck of a party.

- Why wasn't I invited? Hey, you better call 911.

- Yeah, Tony.

What's your name, big boy?

It's Wein...

Wiener.

- Big... Dan Wiener.

- Ahh!

Ohh! Hot dog, huh?

- We like the big part.

- Thank you.

Ah, Mr. Cole, I know...

Gracias. I know you have

a fine touch with the ladies...

- Heh!

- And you have a fine touch with your ideas, so...

If you can get them...

just to win a couple of games,

that's gonna be real helpful.

You do that,

and we have ourselves a deal. Deal?

Deal.

Attention.

This is the Malibu Police Department.

- Come out with your hands up!

- La migra!

Lmmigration!

Lmmigration! I.N. S!

I.N.S. Is coming!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Get down! Everybody on the floor!

Show me your hands!

- Let's go! It's five-O!

- Get on the floor!

Get down! Get down now!

- Get the hell back inside!

- My cousin's a cop in Amarillo, Texas!

- I said down! Now!

- Hold it, hold it, hold it!

- Down! Get down! Get down!

- Get off me!

- Don't move!

- Billy, Billy.

I think the cops are outside.

Oh, now they're inside.

- Pretty boy, down!

- Code 4.

Nothing here but a bunch

ofjohns and hookers.

Hey! They're not hookers.

They're strippers!

I don't believe it.

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