Cloud 9 Page #3

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but ya can't put 'em on television

unless they've signed a release.

No. Listen to me.

They want

to make their debut on the Leno show...

and now you've already

shown them on your show.

That's the problem, see?

They're talking about damages here.

Yeah. Hang on a second. Put some sunscreen

on, son. You're gonna burn your nose.

It's okay, Pop.

I got a factory tint.

Hey, I got another call here

from another attorney. Hang on.

Yeah. Ah, hey!

No, no, I haven't forgotten about it.

Listen, you Teamsters... you have a picnic,

I would suggest you don't bring your wives.

Yeah. No, I love the Teamsters.

No, you guys keep America rollin'.

Yeah. How...

Forty-five hundred bucks.

No, no, no, for the afternoon.

And that includes a trailer.

Okay. Yeah.

No, you guys are great.

Keep on truckin'.

Watch and learn.

Okay, look, the lawyers are...

They're on my ass, okay?

No, you gotta make

a decision right now.

Six thousand dollars. Yeah.

No. You know what?

You call me back at this number.

You got one minute.

Bye. Mix up another batch,

will ya, partner?

Ah! Hey, Pop, Tom's back!

- Move it.

- Move it!

What the hell?

Yeah?

Six grand?

Okay. Yeah.

That's good.

- Girl...

- Aren't we supposed to jump?

- Spike it.

- I just don't... I'm not hitting it over.

Hey, gang.

Now, in 10 days, we're gonna

have our first competition.

- So we'll find out how good you really are.

- Are we getting paid for that?

No, this is an amateur contest,

so there won't be any compensation.

Nothing?

Not even if we "vin"?

Not even if you "vin." You see,

this is a revenue-enhancing opportunity.

- But on Saturday...

- Saturday?

- Yeah.

- No. I'm feature dancer, Tommy Z's.

I don't know what you said, but on Saturday

there's gonna be a lot of people here.

So you just work the crowd,

you know?

So anything you get in tips,

you get to keep all the cash.

- All our tips?

- You get to keep all the cash.

- Hey, works for me.

- Thanks, Billy.

- I'll do it.

- Okay? Good. Right. Yeah.

Yeah.

You tell them they can

only have 50% of the tips.

Make sure you tell them 50%.

No more than that. You understand?

They can't have all the freakin' money,

for Chrissake.

Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!

Let's get out of here.

To you, to your house.

Yes. Sorry, sir.

Love your movie.

You number one. Yes. Sorry.

- Ay!

- Mornin', Wong.

For the artiste.

Hey, Billy-san, you know

who I talk to on phone now?

Regis Philbin.

No! Mel Gibson-san.

- Oh. He must be a happy guy.

- Oh, no, Billy.

Billy, he no happy.

You see, he chew Wong's ass.

He say,

"Where my ficus tree at?"

- Right there.

- Oh! You no deliver ficus to Mel Gibson house?

Why you do this to Wong? One last friend

you have that lend you money, you do this.

- I'm trying to help you become a bigger success.

- Wong don't need you.

- Wong got money. You broke. Wong not broke.

- I know you got money.

I'm just trying to help you

get a lot more money, 'cause a man like you...

a man who's an entrepreneur,

a man who's a visionary...

you can't have too much money,

because for you money is leverage.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Hmm?

- What's leverage?

- I'm gonna tell you what leverage is.

- For example, if you put

a bucket of gold out there...

- You got gold? How much gold?

It doesn't matter how much.

If you had a bucket out there with gold in it...

like, say, half full, right?

- You'd want people to think

that it was full, wouldn't ya?

- Yeah, to the top.

Right. So you put some sand and dirt

underneath. You put the gold on top.

People would say, "Holy sh...

How did he make so much money?"

Billy-san, I no grow no marijuana.

Maybe cilantro, but no marijuana.

They don't think you do. They just wanna know,

"How does he make all that money?"

- And you say, "I'll tell you how I do.

- How?

Because I'm the best. Because I got

the most beautiful nursery in all of California."

Yeah, I could say that,

but I'd be lying.

No, no. You wouldn't be lying.

You'd be exaggerating, right?

And in America...

- that's called advertising.

- Advertising what?

Hi, gang.

Okay, everybody over here.

- Now, you've worked pretty hard,

and for that I'm proud of you.

- Hmm.

You're a team now, so I probably should,

you know, say something like...

"When the going gets tough,

the tough get going."

But I'm not gonna say that sh*t.

Forget about that.

You know what? Forget about

that team out there.

Forget about 'em. Okay? I want you

to think of that space out there...

as the biggest showroom

in Vegas!

- Vegas, baby!

- Ooh, yes!

- Yes, sir!

- Okay, here we go, kids. Right here.

Wong's Bonsai!

Okay, go shake your booty. Kick some ass.

There we go.

Out there, that way, that's it.

Let's hear it

for Wong's Bonsais on courts one and two.

Whoo-hoo!

Hm!

Miss Hansen. Hi.

- Oh, hey.

- Big fan.

- What's your name?

- Billy Cole.

- Hey.

- Hi. What do you think of my team?

- Oh, your team?

- Heh!

So you're the one

who's responsible for all this?

Yeah. I'm the one

that's responsible for this.

Actually, I think

it's gonna be great for volleyball...

because it's gonna

give it a lot of exposure.

- You're kidding me, right?

- No.

- I mean... Billy, right?

- Right.

This is not only degrading for women,

but it's just bad for the sport.

I mean, you're putting on some kind

of freak show with a bunch of hookers.

These are not hookers.

These are strippers.

And actually, let me tell you something

about these girls.

They didn't come from a lot of money.

Maybe they didn't go to college.

They're not the brightest bulbs

in the building, or even the room maybe.

But get used to their faces.

You're gonna see 'em again.

I don't think so. Take a look.

Aww!

They suck.

Nobody's perfect.

Aww!

Ay, yi yi!

Go us! Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Uuh!

Show me some skin, baby!

- That's all right. We cuter than you anyway.

- We have better b*obs.

- Headlights!

- You know what? You still suck!

Oh!

Hey, why don't you take it back

to the strip club, Charo?

Coochie, coochie, coochie,

coochie, coochie... Ooh!

- Dude, your balls!

- My balls!

- Mandiln!

- Yeah!

- I think I wanna go home.

- Let's go home.

Hey! Yeah!

Ay, yi, yoi. I broke nail.

You broke her nail, you b*tch!

Aww!

Here, good-lookin',

get a manicure. Hoo-hoo!

Olga! Just play. Forget about

your friggin' nails, okay? Just play.

- Uuh!

- Hey, Pop, look who I found...

our sponsor, Mr. Wong.

- Ahh, Billy-san, me like this.

- Yeah.

- My nails!

- Are you making fun of us?

- Did they say my name on the loudspeaker?

- Oh, of course.

Everybody... The whole place

was chanting, "Wong! Wong!"

They went, like you

say in Japanese, loco.

- Loco! Yeah? Aha!

- Yeah. Yeah.

- You eye-ballin' me? What you

lookin' at? You don't know me!

- Oye, puta!

- They supposed to do that?

- Oh, yeah.

I told the girls, "Don't be intimidated."

Right.

- Over here, the...

- Yeah. Uh-huh.

Remind me I gotta work

on the girls' etiquette.

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