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Coffee Town Page #10
Well...
Your friend is an idiot.
- Hey.
- Because dead people
can't talk.
- Welcome back.
- Hey...
- I called your parents, and,
uh, they're flying in.
- Was it a drive-by?
- Yes.
Doctors say you're gonna be
okay.
I made sure one worked on
you,
called dibs.
Wanda... she's...
It's like a death sentence,
- I used the smallest size...
because it's the least
painful.
It has nothing to do with
penis size,
you have a normal penis...
when it's... you know, not...
burned by a laptop.
- I mean, I can always jam
the big one in there
if it'll make you feel
better.
- I will stick with the small
one, okay?
- You sure?
- Yeah, please.
Thanks, though.
- Any time.
- Heeeeey!
- I can't believe you are not
dead. You were on the news.
You're like a celebrity.
There was blood all the way
to the muffin counter, man.
- That's kinda cool.
- I'll check back in on ya in
a bit, okay?
- Okay, yeah.
- Hey! No, no.
- Yeah, I was gonna just--
- Hey, look what I got for
you. A little memento.
- Um, I think I was only shot
once.
- Oh no, these aren't from
you.
These are from the kid who
shot you.
all catch up to him.
The entire department just
unloads on him,
takes out their gun, emptying
clips like the wild west,
like Brrragagagaga!
Smoke all over the place.
- Helicopters.
- Wh- wait, no. I don't think
it was a kid.
I feel like I saw... like...
- You know, they said, uh,
technically you were dead for
a minute.
- What are you doing?
- You- you don't need that..
So, what did you see when you
died?
- Hmm... just a long hallway.
- How long we talkin'?
- Yeah, like 50 feet?
- I didn't measure it.
- Do you think it was heaven?
- Aw, you think? Why would
God put in a hallway?
It's kinda shitty
architecture
for the most powerful being
in the universe, right?
looked at least as good as the
Bellagio, right?
think... you think it was
hell?
- Ooh, but would hell have a
hallway?
- I think hell would.
Absolutely.
Just to f*** with you.
- How long do you think that
hallway would be?
Like, 50 feet?
- No, why do you keep
thinking it's 50 feet?
- I just think that's enough
time for you to anticipate
open the door.
- And what happens when you
open the door?
- The Devil--
- Stop, it's not the D--
- Did you see the Devil?
- No.
- Will, did you see the
Devil?
real...
Maybe if you cut in front
of a line,
you get shot in the chest.
randomly.
Just like good things do.
- I really wish you would
reconsider.
any location.
- But either way... I
think it's better to just
focus
on the things we can change
ourselves.
- It's gonna be so weird
operating on cadavers
instead of real people.
So much less resistance.
- Hey can I have your muffin?
I need to print this.
- Of course.
- And let karma deal with
everybody else.
- Get out.
- No.
- Less... Is More... shoots
more.
- Yeah, with less.
- Yeah.
- Oh you know what, you can
get them to be dressed up
like a regular heighted
person.
So you have five of them in
one trench coat,
and them just going to town.
But then their d*cks are just
hitting, like, belly buttons,
and nipples, and faces, and
stuff like that.
- Oh...
porn?
- Oh... Would I? I do.
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"Coffee Town" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/coffee_town_5728>.
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