Coffee Town Page #2

- Soy latte?

- Oh.

- Hey, I got that.

Yyeaah!

That is for you.

- Just go over there and talk

to her.

I'm sick of watching you

drool over her every day.

- I would love to talk to

her, Chad,

but she always comes in here

wearing work-out clothes.

You can't make a move on a

girl in work-out clothes

without comin' off like a

douche.

Hey there, I could not help

but notice your body being

displayed

and I was wondering...

if I could have sex with it.

Aaah!

- Alright... I'm givin' her a

brush-by.

Police privilege.

- Oh no, please don't do

that.

- Oh please, I will do that.

It's for you, okay?

Athletic wear is very

misleading.

You don't know what's firm

underneath that.

- I don't need to know.

- Yeah, well no I need to

know.

Excuse me.

- Oh... Thanks for all your

hard work.

- Just tryin' to keep you

safe.

- No, plea- please d- plea-

- So firm!

- Why are we friends with

him?

- He's got a good heart.

Is he parked in two

handicapped spots?

I should get back to the

office.

- Yep.

Me too.

I wouldn't say a coffee

shop is the perfect office...

but I'll admit, it means

something to me.

In a world that lets me

feel joy just long enough to

taste it

then somehow finds a way

to cruelly yank it away,

So, I continue to go

there, even though my

apartment

is now mine, alone...

shared only by the

belongings

of my recently deceased

roommate,

whom I think about a lot.

Sometimes too much.

I thought his family would

come and collect his things,

but I think after the

funeral...

...they preferred to avoid

me.

I just feel th-

...um...

C'mon.

Come on...

Come,

I guess the sad truth is

Coffee Town is the only

place I really feel

comfortable.

- Enjoy.

- Medium drip, lightly

sweetened, light soy.

- Name?

- Willllinton

Zegonda-Georgington Zybl-

Junior.

- Did I spell that right?

- You just drew a penis.

- Next in line?

- Another attempt to

squeeze people like me out

Tryin' to make every piss

cost a quarter.

But, as it doesn't specify

'quarter'

there's no reason I can't

use Pizza Castle tokens...

Turn over. Oh yeah.

... which I harvest by the

hundreds.

That is what I need!

Oh yeah!

- You here with a kid?

- Yeah... yes.

- Gary, why don't you, uh,

meet me down at the ball pit.

We've a pervert situation

here.

Gary, the pervert's on the

run. The pervert's on the run,

he's--

- move!

- Green tea for Molly.

Medium drip for... Penis

Drawing

- Hey.

- Hey!

- So, you didn't get in early

enough for the big table, huh?

- No, I did. It's just

technically for the disabled,

so sometimes you gotta give

it up.

Lucky bastard... Right near

an outlet.

-So get this. Yesterday, my

boss says to me

that my teeth don't look like

any smoker he's ever seen...

Huh?

Hey... Are you listening?

- Yes, I'm listening.

It's weird that your boss was

looking at your teeth.

-Wait, no, he's not a homo.

He just thinks I'm full of

sh*t and he's tryin' to flush

me out.

- Technically, Chad, you are

full of sh*t.

- Yeah, I know.

But we're talking about five

ten-minute breaks every day

sanctioned by the boss,

because he smokes, alright?

I'm not gonna miss out on

that.

So...

I've gotta start smoking

- Ooh...

- For real.

- You know, they say

starting smoking is one of

the toughest things you can

do.

- You know what the worst

part's gonna be?

- Cancer?

- Buying the things.

It's worse than buying

condoms, alright?

You can't turn a cigarette

inside-out and smoke it again.

- Wait, what?

- I r- I rinse it out!

- Chad, I'll give you

condoms.

- Ooooh boy.

- Yo.

- Hey, what's goin' on?

- I dunno.

- Check this out. Ah you're

gonna love this.

- What do we got?

- Oh, what do I got... what

don't I got? Boom!

- Oh!

- The evidence room is a

joke.

That, my friends, is an ivory

handle.

- Does that have... blood on

the blade?

- Probably.

- They're gonna think there's

a murder going on in here.

- Because of that little

amount of blood? Chad...

- Forensics?

- You're an idiot.

- Let me show you, over here,

is where I'm thinkin' we can

put the taps.

- Hey, guys,

guys guys...

That's Morris Brown.

He owns this entire chain.

- Oh, wow!

- Droppin' by to get his ass

kissed, I like that.

- I- I really think that this

is your best bet.

I mean, they might call it

Coffee Town, but I call it...

... Coffee Home.

- I don't... think they're

just here for a visit.

They're checkin' everything

out.

- Ah! And here's my coffee

wife,

hehe, right over here.

Not... not really,

I mean, I don't have sex with

her... or anything.

I mean not that... you don't

deserve it, but..

- Ugh.

- Alright...

uh, let me show you the

bathroom.

- It's awesome.

- You think this place is up

for remodel?

- Maybe...

- You think they're gonna get

rid of these chairs?

I'm sick of having all

beanbags.

- Told you you'd regret that.

- I do.

Biggest mistake of my life.

- Even bigger than that

haircut?

- Oh, hey, Sam, Sam, Sam,

c'mere... C'mon, dude,

c'mere.

Come here.

What's the owner doing here?

- Ah, well, see, they are...

converting one of the

locations to a bistro lounge.

Serve alcohol and stuff.

More of a social atmosphere

as opposed to a place where

dick-heads can leech off

our resources

for six dollars a day.

- F***.

- I like the idea!

- What do you mean you like

the idea?

This is my office! I have to

work here!

- You don't have to work

here.

- Yes I do. This is the only

place within walking distance,

has free wireless, outdoor

seating...

... printing station...

- There's a printing station?

- Yeah, you get Nathan a

muffin

- I would never give that guy

a muffin.

- This place is like my home!

- Calm down, there's a

million Coffee Towns.

How do you know they're gonna

pick this place?

- Because this is the best

one, Gino.

They're gonna see that.

- The one in Albertson's is

nice!

- You know, I don't think

they're gonna pick one

that's in a grocery store,

Chad.

- They probably won't.

- Yeah.

- Ah, dammit.

They're gonna turn my office

into a T.G.I. Fridays.

Oh god.

- Oh ho, that's not gonna

help your cause.

- Becca!

Beautiful Becca.

Nice to see you... as always!

Always great, uh...

- Morris Brown is totally

checking her out.

- Uh, I can get that kinda

clientele here.

- Morris is gonna think this

is the place for the bistro.

Cuz you got a--

- We got it, Chad.

- I'm just explaining...

- Yeah, a lot.

- Ah, what is that? Oh hey!

Wait a minute.

We have, uh... we meaning my

band Mr. and Mrs. Williams...

- Oh no.

- What is that?

- His demo CD.

- Aw, sh*t just got real, my

friend.

- It's what I do, I put my

heart into the... into the...

the stories are- are where it

comes from.

- He's going in via the

artist's entrance. And do you

see this?

Do you see this right now?

He is pointing to the song

that she'll think is about

her.

This dude is good. That is a

veteran move.

- I'm not gonna say it's

about you,

and I'm not gonna say that it

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