Coffee Town Page #6

sturdier stool?

- Uh, No, this one's fine.

- This one can hold you? You

sure?

- Yeah, I think, it's okay.

- Yeah yeah yeah, go go go.

Please, please.

So, what happened to your

face?

- Hey!

- Ah, Hi! Hey!

- Hi!

- How are you?

- I'm good... Good. How are

you?

- Uh.. uh... I don't wanna be

weird or anything,

but that guy that you were

just making out with

is now... kissing your

friends.

- That guy? ...Oh,

no... no.

I was, um... I was taking E.

You know, ecstasy.

- Yeah...

- Yeah yeah.

He puts it on his tongue.

- Oh! That... that's clever.

- I'm not a drug person.

My girlfriend convinced me of

it, you know, and...

I'm usually really really

boring...

But... ahem...

This is great!

Like, WOW!

You know, I'm really starting

to feel it!

- Really?

- Yeah! Yeah.

You should totally take a

hit.

- Uh, no.. no no.

- Yes!

Have you ever done it?

- No, no, I- I- I'm really

more of a heroine guy.

But I get mine in the

chewables...

that looks like little, uh..

Kurt Cobains.

- Come on, you gotta try

it... Come on.

Can I get another one for my

friend?

- Uh... yeah...

Okay, so...

- No, no... it's too risky.

Oh, what the fff-

- C'mon! Quick! Quick! C'mon!

You can do it. C'mon.

- Sh*t, alright.

Ugh! There's nothing in

there!

I can't believe you went for

it, man.

Mmyeah... you give great

mouth.

Here ya go, huh?

It's on the house.

- Come on

- You know that guy has

AIDS...

- Can't get it twice.

- Okay, I hope this is worth

it.

- Oh, it's totally worth it.

- Is memory loss a

side-effect?

- Nope... just death...

- Turns out, except for

the moments

when your heart feels like

it's gonna explode,

Ecstasy is awesome.

I don't know what it

looked like on that dance

floor...

but I know what it felt

like...

Do you believe in

heaven above

Like the dance scene in

the 1986 movie "Rad".

Do you believe in

love?

Don't tell a lie, don't

be false or untrue...

When love can only be

expressed with BMX freestyle.

Open fire on my burning

heart

I've never been lucky

in love

My defenses are down, a

kiss or a frown

I can't survive on my

own

It gets in your eyes,

it's making you cry

Don't know what to do,

Don't know what to do

You're looking for

love, calling heaven above

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now

Right now...

- And I actually do know

what it looked like...

But who cares?

It worked.

Oh! Ooh, wait wait wait wait.

- I know, I know it's crazy.

But I really want a memory.

- Oh, I know, I know. I do

too. No no! Oh...

-... Oh...

Um...

- It's from my laptop...

- It's okay.

- It's a lap... top... burn.

- Yep... I just, um...

I don't think I'm in any

condition to do this anyway,

I should- I should go.

- Okay, wait, wait. It's not

what you think it is!

No, look, listen listen

listen...

I wanna- I wanna do this

again.

- Totally, yeah, I'll call

you.

- You don't have my number!

- You're asleep.

- No I'm not...

I'm awake.

Uugh, totally awake! I was

thinkin' about some stuff.

Sleeping can get you

kicked out.

Being awake is the only

thing that separates us table

squatters

from the homeless people

out front.

That's good... good roast.

- You know you ruined our gig

last night...

with your little dance of the

drugged-out idiots.

And now the club doesn't want

us back.

- The reason the club doesn't

want you back

is cuz your band sucks, Sam.

I'm serious.

Really, you're not Coldplay.

The whole tape on the fingers

thing?

You look like gymnasts.

- We're still finding our

sound, man.

- Yeah, I saw you looking for

it.

- And one, two

No, no! God dammit, Devin!

Who comes in on three. man!?

- I said what f***ing

professional drummer comes in

on three!

- What f***ing professional

piano player

wears a marching band jacket?

That's my question!

- It's progressive, you

idiot!

- A**hole!

- Whatever!

- Alright, alright.

We're done then!

- F*** you!

- By the way, who's Mrs.

Williams?

- Yeah yeah yeah, go refill

the half and half.

- Why don't you go refill the

half and half.

- I don't think I'm allowed

to refill the half and half,

am I?

- Are you seriously saying

the half and half is empty?

- Yeah.. the half and half is

empty.

- F***!

- Aaah, look at you!

Did you hook up last night?

- I don't wanna talk about

it.

- Okay, that's fine... can ya

mime it?

- No.

- Okay. you know, I could

beat it out of you. I'm a cop.

- In a lethal weapon movie?

- F***, I wish.

- Where's Chad?

- He's in line at the

bathroom.

- It's been ten minutes, who

is this idiot?

Oh...

- Retard.

- What? ... Dammit.

Anyone got a quarter?

Pizza Castle token?

- They let you drive that car

when you're off duty?

- Only car I got, kid.

- Yeah, but you don't got

it...

It's owned by the city.

- You totally struck out last

night, didn't you.

- Yeah look...

My laptop burned

my dick.

- I'm so sorry, I thought you

said that your laptop burned

your dick.

- My laptop burned my dick.

And I think she thought I

had, like a, sexual disease,

or...

- That's a thing? Laptops can

burn d*cks?

- Yeah, apparently.

- Can I see it real quick?

- No, you can't see it. What

are you doing, man?

- I'll show you mine, it'll

be totally cool.

- Oh, you show- Oh! that

changes everything.

Yeah yeah yeah, let's do

that.

Ow!

Jesus Christ, dude. What are

you doing?

- You really toasted that

thing, huh?

- Yes, I really burned it.

Stay away!

- Think that Down syndrome

guy... just called me a

retard.

- Are you serious? That's

messed up.

- I think they're the only

ones who should be allowed to

say it.

- I think I should be allowed

to say it, too.

- I don't disagree.

- Wait, are you calling me a

retard?

- I'm not allowed to.

- Guys? If you still wanna

hit this place,

I think I figured out an

opening.

- Yes, of course I do. Yes, I

do wanna hit it.

What's- what's the deal?

- This Friday night, the

street is being closed down

for traffic light repair,

they're switchin' em over to

L.E.D. or some sh*t.

- What?

Who got that contract?

F***ing G.E... Bob Horsewood,

I bet.

- Who the f*** is Bob

Horsewood?

- F***ing Bob Horsewood.

- What the f--

- My nemesis, Bob Horsewood.

- Would you shut up about Bob

Horsewood! Nobody--

Just... Anyway.

- Listen up. Utility

company's gonna be done with

the job

by around midnight,

but the barricades won't be

removed 'til 4 a.m.

and that should give you guys

plenty of time to get in

there.

- No no no, I can't. I have

to be on call.

That way, if someone figures

it out and calls it in,

I will be the first to

respond and you guys can just

bolt.

- So how are we gonna do it?

Just kick open the door,

grab all the cash?

-Nobody's- We're not taking

any money, Chad.

- I wanna take something. I

want a souvenir!

- Are you a serial killer?

- I'll serial kill Bob

Horsewood.

- Chad, nobody's taking

anything, do you hear me?

- Nobody's taking anything,

you just rough the place up

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