Coffee Town Page #8

to lose.

Not a place for free

wi-fi, or to meet friends, or

outwit the economy.

Coffee Town was a place to

belong.

That's something everybody

needs in life.

An intersection.

A place to meet with the

rest of the world

on the way to wherever

you're headed.

Because let's face it,

we're all headed the same

place.

So they're closing the street

tonight?

- I'm sorry, dude, I tried my

hardest, okay?

They must have moved the work

order up.

Traffic is back in the street

at 9 p.m. tonight.

- Do we still have a window

at midnight?

- I don't think it's a good

idea.

- Why?

- Because before we were

doing a Friday night, right?

Cops would be busier all over

the place, busting drunk

drivers and sh*t.

This is Tuesday.

Cops are bored on Tuesday.

Someone calls this thing in,

the entire force is gonna show

up.

- I don't care... I'm goin'

in. Are you gonna be on shift?

- Yeah.

- I'm in too. I could really

use the cash.

- Chad...

- Chad, god dammit...

- You have any idea how

expensive cigarettes are?

- We are not taking any cash.

- Nobody's taking f***ing

money!

- Just... Did you come up

with a plan?

- Are we really doing this?

- Yes, we're doing this.

- We're doing this.

- Stop it.

Alright guys.

- Whoa whoa whoa. Hey, just

be careful.

- Best way to stay under the

radar

is to shut the sh*t off in

plain sight.

- But how did you do that?

- I got some guys at the

crime unit to draw it up.

They thought it was for a

drug raid. F***in' idiots.

Alright. You guys'll be these

sugars right here.

- Whoa whoa whoa whoa, can I

be the Sugar in the Raw,

because I'm sort of the

badass of the group.

- Says who?

- Well, you're not the badass

of the group.

- I didn't say I was the

badass.

- Then that's a weak group.

- You guys are both creamers.

- Now we're both creamers.

- Yeah, well, cuz you

wouldn't shut up.

- One of us could have been

the Sugar in the Raw--

- Stop it!

- I don't care if I'm a

creamer. Why are we talking

about this?

What's the plan?

- First, we prep the target

for a 1 a.m. strike.

Which means you gotta get

that homeless guy at 10 p.m.

Throw him a tall boy with

roofies in it.

That'll knock him the f***

out.

That takes care of the only

witness.

After that both of you guys,

at 1 a.m.,

will go across to the back of

the store.

You'll find a utility ladder,

and that will give you access

to the roof.

That is where you will wait

for my radio confirmation.

Chad, what did I just say?

- I- I wasn't listening.

- You weren't li--

- I was playing with the

Sugar in the Raw.

- Stop.

- I'm gonna move all the

sugars away.

All the sugars are away from

you now, okay?

- This- this is important. We

could go to jail.

- Okay, sorry. I'll- I'll

close my eyes and just

concentrate.

- That's fine. Can you hear

me better now?

- Mm hmm.

- Fantastic.

- It's like Stevie Wonder,

how he- he has dog hearing.

- He doesn't have dog

hearing. Dog hearing--

- Stevie Wonder does have dog

hearing.

- What?

- Are you gonna close your

eyes too, or--

- No, he doesn't have to.

- Okay.

- Chad?

- Go.

- That's when you're gonna

wait for my radio

confirmation.

What are you gonna do?

- Wait for your radio

confirmation.

All clear.

Next you're gonna take the

bolt cutter.

Cut that padlock that's on

the hatch.

There is absolutely no alarm

on it. You'll be safe.

Once you're down, you have

about five minutes.

Open the cash, like, throw it

around a little bit.

Rough the place up enough to

look like you were doing a

robbery,

but you got interrupted in

the process, and you had to

jet.

That's when you go right back

up through that hatch. K?

That's the plan.

- OK, I'm gonna open my eyes

now.

- Nice.

- Nice.

- So when we're finished we

just split the money, 33, 33--

- Oh my god!

- Holy sh*t, Chad.

Holy sh*t, Chad.

-Chad, if you take something

from this place,

I'll kill you.

- Oh that's... very Sugar in

the Raw of you.

- Chad, stop, stop.

You're not gonna take any

money, right Chad?

- My lips are zipped.

- You said this whole thing

is a secret!

It's out in the open, it's

a secret--

- That's fine, that's fine.

Just tell me you're not gonna

take any money.

Don't cover your eyes! Don't

cover your eyes.

- It's got nothing to do with

that.

- Don't cover your eyes.

Just say you're not gonna ta-

Watch this.

Will, are you gonna take any

money?

- I promise I'm not taking

any money.

- Chad, are you gonna take

any money?

- Okay, whatever.

- Don't take your hands.

Promise you're not gonna take

any money.

- I promise I

won't take any money.

- Thank you. Do you swear?

- I- I swear.

- Okay, that's it.

which I will fax over to

Coffee Town corporate office.

We did it, guys.

- Alright, so, we'll meet

here at 1 a.m.

Alright, got it? 1 a.m.!

- Mm hmm.

- 1 a.m.? That's late. You

guys stay up that late?

- Hey!

- Hey, buddy! What's up?

- Oh!

- Okay, yeah. We reuse paper

at the station.

- Good, good.

- I don't stay up that late.

- No, normally we don't

either, it's just a...

special occasion.

Special occasion comin' up.

- We're havin' a party.

- Chad.

- Chad, yeah.

- It's your birthday?

- No.

- Yep!

- Yes.

- Yeah yeah. I'm 56.

- 56.

- How 'bout that.

- 56 already 56.

- You wouldn't think.

- Oooooooooh

Have a happy

birthday

Have.. a... happy

birthday...

Have a happy

birthdaaaaay

- F***in Phil, get outta

here!

- Get outta here, Phil.

- You know better than that,

Phil

Haaave a happy birthday

to Chaaad

- Thank you, thank you. I'm,

uh... 56!

- 56.

- I left Coffee Town

early.

Too nervous about that

night to let Becca see me.

Instead, I sat at the

park.

The thought of a future in

prison

made an afternoon with

nature seem pretty nice.

But, it turned out to be

more like prison than nature.

And finally... the time

had come to put our plan in

motion.

And things started off

flawlessly.

Sh*t.

Hey pal... hey buddy...

Wake up, I got some beer for

ya. Want some beer?

- Ya! Don't kill me! Don't

kill me!

- Oh, whoa whoa.

Hey, I was just trying to

give you some beer.

Hey hey! Calm down, calm

down, man. Shh shhhh.

Just trying to give you some

beer, man.

You look thirsty... oh...

Okay, ok ok ok,

listen, I'll make it up to

you, um...

Let me put you up in a hotel

for the night.

- Naw, I don't sleep in

hotels.

Bed bugs.

- Okay, so, here we are. Um.

I've got some plans tonight,

but you can sleep on the

couch.

- I don't sleep on couches...

couch bugs.

- Couch bugs? What the hell's

a couch bug?

Where ya goin'?

Oh come on, man.

Dude, oh...

No no, c'mon, that's my bed!

Aw f***!

Chad.

Chad!

- I'm gonna kill you mother

f***er!

- Shut the f*** up! Shut the

f*** up.

Don't do that, man. That's

not cool.

- Look, it's me. It's Chad!

- Yeah, I know it's you. Nice

kitty shirt.

- I look awesome, huh?

- Yeah.

- I just wish I had some

black paint around my eyes,

you know, like, uh, like

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