Coffin Rock

II'

II'

- Hello, kids.

- Ah.

Come on, you bastard.

That's better.

That's better.

Come on.

Aw.

You're just a cursed man,

Roberto.

- God, you're an idiot

sometimes.

- What's that?

- It's a fish.

- Yeah, righto, mate.

I'll see ya.

- Mate, that wife of yours

gets hungry,

send her my way, mate.

I.m joking...

- You want to be, mate.

Now, you just be there on time.

- Don't think he thought

that was very funny.

II'

II'

- It was supposed to be here

at 10:
00, ha.

Of course.

Bella.

- Oi!

- No, but our discount-

- Oi!

- Hello, honey.

How are you?

- I've got no office key.

Can I dump my stuff here

for a bit?

- Beep beep?

- Yeah, beep beep.

- Oh, of course.

No problem.

- Hello.

- Beep beep?

- Beep beep

- Everything in order?

- Well, it is my end.

- Are you still going tomorrow?

See ya.

- See ya.

II'

- I The Way you look at me J'

I There's no mistakable

I My heart goes boom for you J'

I And there's no fain' it Julie

I How can {resist J'

I The Wicked look

in your eye? J'

I There's no hope

in restraining J'

I It's just night

that's remaining J'

I Devilish angel J'

- Shoo!

- Whoa-ho.

- Yeah, baby!

Shoo!

- Oh, yeah.

- Send your swimming things

to me, sweetheart.

Ooh.

Yeah, baby.

Hey, hey.

- Oh, no, swim your boys

to my lovely,

and let's bake us a peanut!

- I got to clean the fish, mate.

- The eggs are cooking, babe.

Give us your man fat,

and we'll make us some people!

- I When you look at me J'

I My heart... J'

- You know it's tomorrow

we're going?

Hey, no one knows.

. Yep...

- Ooh, arr, arr, rah, rah,

rah, rah, rah, rah.

Uh, hum, hum, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Uh, hum, hum, mmm, mmm...

- Stop it.

- I There is nobody J'

I That Id rather be with now Julie

II'

- So no sign of Benny?

- Oh, he's hopeless.

- He wants to screw your woman,

Robbie.

- Yeah, well he's testing

my patience.

- Ah, come on, mate.

It's the old bull, young bull

going on there.

- Old?

- Yeah, old.

- Thanks, mate.

- Oh, don't worry, Rob.

I don't care what they say.

I think you're way more

than half man.

Oh, he's 20% at least.

- When was the last time

you did something nice

for your wife, Tony'?

- I would say about 1973.

- No.

Last night.

- Out, both of you.

- We just got here.

- Now.

- Come on, mate.

- Take those coffee cups back.

See ya, boys.

- See you later.

- See ya, fellas.

- Ready?

- Hey, uh, you want to give

the old-fashioned way a shake?

- Not really.

- Come on.

- No.

- Sweetheart, come on.

The butter's boiling, baby.

- Oh, that's gross!

- Oh, it's radioactive.

- Oh.

No, we're going to be late, hon.

We're going to be-

- Won't take a minute.

- I know it won't take a minute.

What are you wearing?

I put out your new shirt.

And those jeans have got

holes in them.

- Hey!

Where's your mummy?

Hey?

Where's Mum?

. He)'...

- She was just left on the side

of the road,

yeah, with cars coming past.

Can you just look after her?

That would be a great idea,

wouldn't it?

- Jess.

- Just let her wander round

as much as she likes.

- Jess.

- It's not fair.

II'

- Ben Davis?

Hi, Ben.

Come through.

- Robert Townsend?

- Yes.

Honey, no.

- I can help.

- No, no.

Just...no.

Okay?

- How are you?

- How are ya?

- Good.

Come on through.

- Honey, come on.

- Ooh.

How'd you go?

- Oh, it was wonderful.

Yeah, wonderful.

Come on.

- So will they mail us

the results?

- Oh, yeah.

- They'll come in the post?

- Yep.

- Why didn't they give them

to you straight away?

How long does it take?

- I don't know.

I don't know if I should.

Come on.

Just do it.

Just get up and do it.

You gonna get up?

Don't worry, mate.

She's gonna love you.

She's gonna absolutely love ya.

II'

- Hello.

- Hello.

- You all right there?

- I'm-I'm actually looking

for work.

Buzzing metropolis, this one.

Try down at the cray factory.

Really tall Maltese guy, Tony.

. Ton)'...

You shouldn't be here, Evan.

Just go home.

- How're you going there, boy?

Not too hard for you?

- No, it's fine.

Thanks.

. Ga)'...

- You're a f***ing idiot!

Jesus Christ!

F***.

F***, you're some kind

of sucking' idiot.

Hello.

- Was that you before?

- Uh, no.

- No?

- No.

- Right.

$0 you got your job, then?

- Yeah.

- Well, come in.

It's all right.

- Thanks.

Thank you.

I, uh-

I found this outside.

Um...a nest.

- Oh, wow.

- Yeah, yeah.

It was empty.

- Oh.

- I like the way

the feathers in there...

sorry...

the feathers in there, like...

I'm Evan, by the way.

- Jess.

- Jess.

- Wow.

It's beautiful.

- No, you keep that.

- Really?

- A gift from me to you.

- Wouldn't that be

kind of weird?

- Probably.

But that's fine,

'cause I get it a lot,

the weird thing, so...

- Oh.

Thanks.

- Uh, I'd better get back,

um, to work.

So...see you tomorrow.

All right.

- Okay.

- See ya.

Oi!

Where's my letter, woman?

- Hey, I just deliver them

I don't write them.

I'll see you in the pub

tomorrow night.

- Uh, how's those squaddies?

- Stinky.

- Stinky.

I mean, you know,

it's not so stinky

that I'd say no to a lift home.

You haven't met my husband,

have you?

- Come on,

I've got all these things.

It's, uh-it's just up the road.

Look, I'll-I'll drive.

- Have you even got a license?

- Yes, officer?

Well, are you going to get out?

- All right.

Okay.

Oh, come inside.

I, uh...

got something to show ya.

- It's not what you think.

Come on.

- I'm sure it's not.

I'm going home.

- Great.

She thinks

I'm some sort of weirdo.

Bye, Evan.

- Look at you, eh?

Hey.

You hungry?

Come on, swallow.

Hey.

Oh, look at that.

Look at that.

- A what?

- A bird's nest.

I think he's a weirdo.

- Good-looking weirdo?

- Yeah.

Young.

- Young?

Well, why don't we adopt him?

Yeah, we don't have

to have a kid.

We can just have him.

- I think the letter's going

to come tomorrow.

- There're a lot of tests.

I think it's going to be weeks.

- It's pretty awful, isn't it,

jerking off into a cup

and sucking out eggs,

squeezing it all back in again?

It's not normal, really.

Not natural.

- Mm.

- But is it worth it?

- Mm.

- I mean,

we've got to try at least.

Rob?

- Rob?

. Yep...

Just seems wrong.

- Wrong?

Rob-

- Don't worry.

The tests are going to come back

jet-powered.

Super sperm.

Super swimmers.

- Negative.

Negative.

Negative.

Negative.

Negative, negative, negative.

Oh!

Negative.

Jet-powered.

- Night, babe.

- Night, Rob.

Any mail?

- No.

- Nothing?

- Nope.

- Do you want me to open it?

- No.

- Ooh, come on, big man.

Let's see what you're made of.

Babe, whatever it says,

it's okay.

- Then we don't need to open it,

do we?

- I know it's scary, babe.

- It's not scary.

It's ridiculous is what it is.

It's stupid.

- But we've got a problem,

and this is a way to fix it.

- I don't need fixing!

- No, we, d*ckhead.

We need fixing.

- That's not what you meant.

It's not what you meant!

- No, you can tell what I meant

by the words that I said.

- That's right.

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