Cold Comfort Farm Page #8

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I like your pretty ways.

I like yours, too, but I'm

afraid it would never do.

I'm not at all the sort of person

to make a good farmer's wife.

And there's enough marriage just

now with Elfine's wedding coming up.

She all right up at the Hall?

She loves it, and they love her.

They ought to have the wedding

feast here at Cold Comfort,

now you've made it

so nice.

You'll have to ask

Aunt Ada.

Yes, I suppose I will.

But you wouldn't mind?

Oh, no, not at all. No.

That were a no,

by the way, were it?

Yes, it were no.

You'll find someone.

What about Rennet?

Oh!

[ Chuckling ] No one in their

right mind would marry Rennet.

[ Chuckling ]

But I'll find someone.

Aunt Ada? I've brought

your lunch. May I come in?

Who's there? It's Flora,

Robert Poste's child.

[ Laughing,

Chattering ]

[ Muffled Chatter ]

I don't know if there's enough money for

- [ Laughing ] Yeah!

Oh, dang me!

What's going on?

No supper?

I didn't like to make

supper, Master Reuben.

Miss Poste went to see the old lady

at noon and hasn't come back down.

They been talkin'

all day.

Maybe I ought to take up some sandwiches

and cocoa. No, no, Mrs. Beetle.

Better let 'em be. Miss

Poste knows what she's doin'.

Something terrible'll

come of it.

What's happened? Is she

all right, the old lady?

She's absolutely fine.

I've just put her to bed.

[ Shouts ]

What?

[ Birds Chirping ]

How's that, Miss Poste?

Pretty, isn't it? Lovely, Urk.

Could you fetch the men? I want

to set up the tables for the feast-

one for the farmers,

one for the county.

[ Chattering

In Distance ]

[ Mrs. Beetle ] Oh! Give us your toes.

That's it. Whew!

Ah!

[ Rapid Stirring ]

[ Stirring Continues ]

Come on, Rennet,

stir that dough!

Don't want 'em eating their wedding

breakfast a week after the nuptials, do we?

Who would've thought it? My

little wennet. [ Rapid Stirring ]

The seed to the fower, the fower to

the fruit, the fruit to the belly.

Urk, Grandma Doom's chair, could

you find it and put it out for me?

She only uses that for the

countin'. Just find it, please.

Rennet, here's a hat

for you to wear to the church.

Oh, Cousin Flora,

do you mind?

I ain't used to them collars.

No, of course, Reuben.

Sit down.

[ Stirring Continues ]

[ Guests Chattering ]

Hello!

Rest in peace, husband mine.

[ Church Bells Chiming ]

Your loving wife

won't be far behind.

[ Bells Continue ]

Here lies

my darling George.

Whatever shall I do without you

come the harvest?

Cousin Judith, I'd like you to

meet Dr. Adolf Mudel from Vienna.

Leave me to me fate,

Robert Poste's child.

It's a very great pleasure

to meet you, Mrs. Starkadder.

I have heard something of

you from Fraulein Poste.

You must leave me be.

I'm a dead woman.

Now she's safely gathered in,

delivered from this life of sin.

Yes. Well,

never mind that now.

Pouring with rain when your father

and I got married. I must go in.

Yes.

Good luck.

[ Woman Laughing ]

Hello.

Freddie, I wanted to speak

to you about those cathedral-

It is. Thank goodness. [ Chuckling ]

Yesterday-

Hey!

Miss Poste!

What a marvelous day

for a wedding!

Dr. Mudel, this is Mr. Mybug. Uh, Mybug.

Dr. Mudel, yes. I know you

by reputation, of course.

We've never actually met. I did

attend one of your lectures once.

Um, "The Mind At War

With Itself. " Ah, so.

Weren't you there, too, Miss

Poste? Yes, indeed, Mr. Mybug.

Dr. Mudel, could I ask you to

accompany Cousin Judith into the church?

It will be my pleasure.

Tell me, do you like

old churches?

Ah! Mr. Mybug, would you excuse me?

I've spotted someone

I simply must talk to.

[ Bird Cawing ]

[ Organ ]

[ Chattering ]

Flowers!

[ Continues ]

[ Organ Continues ] [ Guests

Chattering, Child Crying ]

[ Chattering Continues

Noisily ] [ Woman Laughing ]

Stop it!

[ Noisy Chattering,

Laughing Continue ]

[ Organ Continues ]

Reuben!

Do hurry up, Elfine.

They're all waiting.

Oh, you look gorgeous.

[ Organ Stops ] [ Elfine

] Flora, do I look nice?

Don't be nervous.

[ Organ:
"Wedding March"]

Reuben, mind me dress.

- [ Organ Slows ]

- My little wennet.

[ Organ Dies ]

Adam!

Oh!

[ Resumes ]

[ Band ]

[ Man Muttering ]

[ Chomping Loudly ]

[ Guests Chattering,

Laughing, Hooting ]

[ Partyers Hooting,

Laughing ]

[ Continues ]

Oh, absolutely

fascinating.

[ Moos Loudly ]

How kind.

I don't usually.

I must say you're looking

splendid, Mrs. Beetle.

Oh, Vicar, thank you!

- [ Hooting Continues ]

- Tell me, my dear,

you can settle a question

that's been puzzling me.

Do you believe

that women have souls?

A wedding present

for ye, maidy.

A gift for my own

wild marsh tigget.

Oh, Adam,

how sweet of you.

Oh. Oh.

Put it in thy bosom. It'll

make ye bear four children.

That it will.

You'll see.

I must thank you,

Miss Poste.

Dr. Mudel has asked me to stay with

him at his nursing home in London.

He says I can stay with him for six months

and talk to him, play some chess if I like.

It's my energy, you see.

It turns in instead of out.

He's going to

turn it out for me.

[ Drumroll Continues ]

[ Band:

"Wedding Processional"]

[ Guests Chattering ]

Grandmama?

[ Urk ] Aye, 'tis her! [ Meriam

] All dressed up to go out.

'Tis flying against nature.

- Look at her!

- [ Reuben ] Well, I never. Granny!

She must've seen some'at

nasty in the woodshed.

[ Applause ]

Welcome to

Cold Comfort Farm.

- There's always been Starkadders at Cold Comfort Farm.

- [ Starkadders ] Aye!

But it's been some time since

we've had a wedding here.

I must admit that Elfine's wedding has

not turned out quite as I'd planned,

but I've never seen her looking

lovelier or more radiant.

[ Applause ]

So-

So I give it my blessing.

My great-niece Flora

has told me something very wise.

What a pleasant life-

How'd you put it, dear?

What a pleasant life

might be had in this world...

by a handsome, sensible

old lady of good fortune,

blessed with a sound

constitution and a firm will.

Jane Austen. Jane

Austen. [ Guests ] Aye!

So I'm taking her advice...

and leaving for Paris

in a few moments.

- Paris?

- [ Car Horn Honking ]

[ Man ]

Oh, good-bye, dear.

God bless you, mum. [ Ada ]

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Now, remember, when you get to

Nice, ask for the Hotel Miramar.

I will, my dear. I shall

do exactly as you advised.

You won't find me plucking

my eyebrows, nor dieting.

Nor doting on

a boy of 25.

There is just one thing,

Aunt Ada, before you go.

What was the wrong Amos did my

father? And what are my rights?

Well

- Yes, my dear? Aunt Ada.

Adam wants to come to Hautecouture

Hall with us and look after our cows.

Do you mind?

Who will care for Feckless,

Aimless, Graceless and Pointless?

Adam, you wouldn't

desert them?

Never, ma'am.

Take 'em with me.

There's room for all

at "Howchiker" Hall.

[ Chuckling ] Well, you may

take 'em if you want to, Adam.

Bless ye, Miss Starkadder.

You'me a good 'un after all.

And bless ye,

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