Colour of Magic, The Page #5

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seeing things that most people

can only dream of,

on an adventure with visions and wonders

unimaginable in one lifetime.

It's all thanks to you, Rincewind.

You forgot the near-death experiences.

Well, I like to think of them

as edge-of-life ones.

With the best guide a little old

in-sur-ance clerk from Bes Pelargic

could ever hope for.

Well, I would have been fine, of course.

Even falling from the Wyrmberg.

Because to stop falling

to certain death is only a

level-two spell.

Actually, I was sort of hoping

that you could do some...

You know.

What, magic?

Like what?

Um...

In a fight,

you could turn people into worms.

Ah. No, no, no.

Turning people into animals

is an eighth-level spell.

Oh.

Look...

The thing is, I never really

completed my training.

I only know one spell.

And even that I got by accident.

What does it do?

Well, I don't know.

I suppose it could do anything.

But it's from the greatest spell book of all,

the Octavo.

The Octavo? Well,

how did you learn it?

When I was a much younger student

at the University,

I agreed to open the Octavo for a bet.

Pint of beer, I think it was.

It was as if

it was waiting for me.

I only had a second

before the spell leapt from the book

and settled in my memory

like a toad in a stone.

Well, then what happened?

Well, they dragged me out

and thrashed me, of course.

Never did get the pint of beer.

Well, what did the spell say, exactly?

It had vanished from the page,

so nobody will know what it says

until I say it.

Or until I die, of course,

and then it'll sort of say itself.

And nobody knows...

- what it does?

... what it does?

To know that, you would need

to be Arch Chancellor.

Now you tell me!

Why didn't we go over the edge?

Because our log hit that rope.

I think it's called the Circumfence.

It runs around the edge of the world.

No, no, you mean the circumference.

The circumference goes round

the edge of things.

So does the Circumfence.

I suppose that's the Rimbow.

It's just so beautiful.

Great. It's a nice view before we die.

RINCEWIND:
Do you see the eighth colour?

That's the colour of magic.

Bet you there are a lot

of other worlds down there.

Yes, quite a number. Look, there's one.

Oh. Hey, that star's new.

Perhaps we should name it.

What's the point? Who will we tell?

We're never gonna get off this rock.

Unless we get in the boat.

Well, unless we get in the... What boat?

That boat.

Course, I could stay here forever. I mean...

On balance, I know

I should be very suspicious of that boat,

but I do like the idea

of getting back to dry land.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Look.

RINCEWIND:
Civilisation.

Lovely to see you're still here,

Arch Chancellor.

Do you know what happens

when a wizard dies?

All the spells that he has memorised

say themselves.

It's one of the first things we learn.

Mmm. It's not quite true

with the eight great spells.

A great spell will simply find refuge

in the nearest mind

ready and open to receive it.

Hmm.

There you are.

You are going to recapture

the spell from its host?

Allow for wind speed, say, three knots.

Adjust for temperature.

There. Of course, it'll take a while

to get there and kill Rincewind.

Then the spell will immediately

return along the ionised path,

back here, to me.

Remarkable.

If, dare I say, a little old-fashioned.

But it's what happens

when all eight spells are spoken together

that might interest a wizard,

now, is it not?

Especially when they aspire

to wear the biggest shoes of all.

Oh, becoming your second

has always been the limit of my ambition.

Yes, of course it has.

I wish only to acquire knowledge, Master.

Which, as we know, is power.

And so, for the furtherance

of my knowledge, Master,

when the eight spells are said together...

Oh, to receive

that ultimate nugget,

you'll have to do much better

than that, young man.

Oh, I congratulate you, Master.

I can see that we must all get up

very early in the morning

if we are to get the better of you!

Early in the morning?

My dear lad,

you'll have to stay up all night.

Come.

Galder. It's the Octavo.

It's going

really ape.

Right. What's going on here?

HEAD LIBRARIAN:

Why are the spells so restless?

- The key.

- Oh!

Oh!

So, back in civilisation.

Yes, it looks like civilisation to me.

Welcome to Krull. My name is Marchessa.

I hope you're not proposing to enslave us.

Certainly not.

Oh, good.

You will, in fact, be sacrificed.

Thank you for another

fine mess, Twoflower.

RINCEWIND:
Come on!

Oh!

Here we are,

completely trapped in a palace,

on an island we have no hope of leaving,

and, what's more, we...

Eh?

Look at all those worlds.

It's fantastic.

Wonder who's

gonna be wearing those suits.

Someone who isn't going

to be sacrificed, that's who.

Ha!

In the annals of the exploration

of our cosmos,

many have been the valiant efforts

of our cosmochelonians

and astrozoologists,

in their quest for knowledge

of the Great A'Tuin.

And you said

we had no way of escaping.

RINCEWIND:
Just keep walking.

They'll never know it's us.

But I wasn't expecting an audience.

RINCEWIND:
As soon as we get a chance,

we'll make a run for it, okay?

But never

has the bravery

of those who laid down their lives before

in the pursuit of the answer

to the ultimate question of the sex

of the turtle,

been more valid

by those who, today, venture forth

- to certain death.

- "Depths. "

Depths!

These two specially-trained,

highly-skilled chelonauts

will be honoured

by the chroniclers of Krull.

Is there a toilet in this suit?

I don't think so.

It's just that I think I need to boldly go.

I give you heroes,

not just of Krull,

but of the galaxy!

On the count of three,

we make a run for it, that way.

I don't think it's them.

You don't think

anyone's realised, do you?

Guards! Guards!

To the top of the ship!

They won't dare shoot at that.

I'm not! Not for me. I'm off.

Ah!

Perhaps you're right.

To the library!

Ouick!

Head Librarian?

Oooook.

To the Great Hall!

I wonder if they're gonna send

the ship over the edge.

- Follow me!

- This way!

Surrender! Stop, now!

This time, I'm definitely going to die.

Surrender! Go, go, go!

Now, listen, we'll tell them

that we'll damage the thing

unless they let us go.

Right? And that's all

we're gonna do, right?

Yeah, that's it. It'll lift off now.

Stop where you are!

RINCEWIND:
What was that?

What was what?

I thought I heard something.

Twelve!

- RINCEWIND:
That's good!

- Eleven!

Make it look like you're damaging it.

Ten!

I think it's stuck.

- Nine!

- RINCEWIND:
Push it!

- Nine!

- You're not messing about...

- Nine!

- ... with anything in there, are you?

- Nine!

No, of course not.

- Oh, good.

- Nine!

What is the Octavo doing?

To the roof!

To the Tower of Art!

How many steps are there?

Eight thousand, eight hundred...

And eighty-eight.

Heave!

Nine!

Nine! Nine!

- RINCEWIND:
What was that?

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