Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary Page #7

Synopsis: Several roasters make fun of Denis Leary.
 
IMDB:
6.7
TV-MA
Year:
2003
99 min
150 Views


"We're gonna f***in'

Tear it up, okay ?

"We're gonna go out here,

And 'a**hole',

And belt this sh*t out, okay ?"

I knew that

Was in you, bro.

I just-- i still love it.

And i'll love it

Forever.

I just would have liked

To see it a little different.

I'm just

A regular joe

With a regular...

Job !

( Heavy metal music )

Dude, i didn't

See any of that !

This sh*t, come on !

I'm your average white,

Fat, suburbanite slob !

( Heavy metal guitar )

I like football

Porno

Books

Books about war

You could have

Done sound effects, war.

( Explosion sounds )

Yeah.

How do you like me

Now, okay ?

This was the part,

He's got a voice,

Man, he's got a voice !

But this is where you should

Have tore it up !

I like

Taking my time

Driving really slow

( Screaming )

In the ultra-fast lane

Watching these little faggots

Behind me going insane

And i know, this man's

Great at the heart.

I didn't buy

You were an a**hole

Until this part.

It's funny,

But bro, i know retards.

This part is where

I was a little hurt.

Sometimes i like

Parking in

The handicapped spaces

So i can look at

The handicapped people

Making handicapped faces

You're an a**hole

You're an a**hole

You're an a**hole

A**hole !

( Chorus )

A-s-s-h-o-l-e !

( All )

A-s-s-h-o-l-e !

A**hole

You a**hole

You a**hole

You--

A**hole you a**hole

You a**hole you--

A**hole

No more

Yodeling.

Don't yodel.

Lenny, you should have

Been there for him

When

He was yodeling.

He can't yodel.

You rock, man.

And when you're finished,

Throw that f***--

Good night !

Thank you !

Font color="#ffff00"comedy central

Captioned by

Font color="#00ffff"soundwriters

I'm just your average joe

With your average job

I'm your average

White suburbanite slob

I like football

And porno

And books about war

I've got

An average house

With a nice

Hardwood floor

But sometimes that just

Ain't enough

To keep a man

Like me interested

Oh no, no way, uh-uh

No, i've gotta go out

And have fun

At someone else's expense

Oh yeah

Yeah yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I drive really slow

In the ultra-fast lane

And people behind me

Are going insane

I'm an a**hole

He's an a**hole

What an a**hole

I'm an a**hole

He's an a**hole

Such an a**hole

Sometimes i park

In handicapped spaces

While handicapped people

Make handicapped faces

I'm an a**hole

He's an a**hole

What an a**hole

I'm an a**hole

He's a real

F***ing a**hole

A-s-s-h-o-l-e !

Everybody

A-s-s-h-o-l-e !

Come on

A-s-s-h-o-l-e !

One more

A-s-s-h-o-l-e !

I'm an a**hole

And i'm f***in' proud of it.

( Cheers )

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

David Feldman

All David Feldman scripts | David Feldman Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/comedy_central_roast_of_denis_leary_5798>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    Who played the character "Wolverine" in the "X-Men" series?
    A Chris Hemsworth
    B Ryan Reynolds
    C Hugh Jackman
    D Robert Downey Jr.