Comet

This is not a dream.

This is not a dream.

Okay. Okay.

This is not a dream.

This is not a dream.

This is not a dream.

Not a dream.

How did I get here?

I don't know. Somebody

just transferred me here.

I don't wanna give you

my information again.

I just told someone 5 times.

Can one of you behave

like a real person, please?

I'm calling about...

Right, yes, I'm her son.

What kind of cancer

are we talking about?

What are our options?

What about a liver transplant?

Why not?

Ask about her Child-Pugh score.

Trust me.

What's her Child-Pugh score?

B. Uh...

What about her bilirubin levels?

If they're low enough, they

might consider yttrium-90.

Hold on. You have

really bad social skills.

Can you pretend to not

listen to my conversation?

Nobody likes that

guy. Don't be that guy.

Eyes on the prize. Yeah.

What about yttrium-90?

Her bilirubin levels are too high.

Okay, listen. I'm gonna get

on a flight in the morning.

Uh, so I should be at the hospital by 3.

Just have her call me

tonight, so I know I'm wanted.

Thanks.

F***.

- This is about your mom?

- Yeah.

How long are they giving her?

I don't know, a few years.

- I'm so sorry.

- Yeah.

What are you doing?

I gotta roll a joint before

the meteor shower starts.

Why?

We're about to watch a

f***ing meteor shower. "Why. "

Oh, here.

That's for when you apply

to college in a few years.

Use me as a reference.

You're a postdoctoral scientist

at Tristana Pharmaceuticals.

- Yup.

- So you already knew...

Oh, that cancery stuff, yeah, I did.

Anyway, I should be able to help you

get you into a top ten

pre-med in a few years.

What makes you think

I wanna go pre-med?

Well, other than the fact that

you know what yttrium-90 is

when most of your

peers are still battling

to crack the mysteries

of parallel parking.

That's just because my mom...

Your mom died of liver

cancer. Yeah, I know.

Your book bag has a

cancer ribbon pinned to

what could only be a

picture of your mom.

She fits the age range.

And you guys have the same nose bridge.

Makes sense you wanting to

become a doctor that saves people.

Right? To make up for the doctor

that couldn't save your mom.

Then, with time, those

good intentions will fade

and it'll become about the

money like it always does.

And you'll become bitter,

like everyone always becomes.

And then you die, probably from cancer.

You know, because that's ironic.

Is there something wrong with you?

Probably, yeah.

Don't worry, I'm working on it.

I just fired my therapist.

She was such an idiot though.

She diagnosed me with

narcissistic personality disorder.

She said I'm under the grand delusion

that I'm the smartest

person in the world.

To which I responded,

"What if I really am?"

- You know?

- Hey, over here.

Watch out!

You okay?

You alright?

This... this doesn't feel real.

What?

I feel like my life just flashed

before my eyes, you

know, like in a movie

where the main character

dies in the beginning

but he keeps going,

not realizing he's dead.

Hey, what's that movie I'm talking

about? You know what I mean.

It's like, um... What is it? It's...

Oh, um, sure, uh, yeah.

Like, uh, Bruce Willis

in "The Sixth Sense?"

Exactly. Yeah.

Wait, no. You know what,

I never saw that. Sh*t.

That's the twist that

everyone was talking about?

Bruce Willis dies in the

beginning of that. That sucks.

Ah, I really wanted to see that. F***.

I'm sorry. I guess I just

thought everyone had seen it.

No, don't worry. Now, I'm not that mad.

I mean I am, but I'll get over it.

That's a lie.

I'll probably harbor this

for a few months at least

and then, you know, we'll see.

See what happens.

Oh, that's cute. Do you

have an eating problem?

Oh, not like...

Sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

Dude, come on, you do realize my date

isn't the one with the

eating problem, right?

Oh.

Wha... Uh-oh, Kimberly's annoyed.

Kimberly.

Kimberly.

Hey.

- How do you do that?

- What?

I haven't seen you in a year

when I was literally

just thinking about you.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah. Because of that song.

I was listening to it

as I was walking here.

It reminded me of the hotel.

The one we stayed at for my

friend's wedding in Paris.

Yeah, yeah, Paris.

City of Lights and

pretension as I recall.

We had one of our biggest fights.

And that was your friend's

wedding from Wisconsin, right?

What was her name, Lenora or Lee Anora?

- Sarah? Right.

- I remember that wedding.

I remember that was the one where the DJ

played that Montell Jordan song twice.

I remember, the first time

we thought it was ironic

then we realized he just liked the song.

Definitely our biggest fight.

The beginning of the end, really.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Look, It's like the Beatles, right?

I mean, I liked them when I was 5.

But at a certain point,

you just want something

with a little more nuance, you know?

Don't get me wrong. I could

handle them a little better

when they had Pete Best to ground them

but past that, I don't know,

they just got so pedestrian.

- Do you come here a lot?

- Do I come to the cemetery?

I like cemeteries. You

know, they're romantic.

Especially this one.

Soccer is by far the most elegant sport.

Yeah, I read somewhere it's gonna overtake

football in America in the next 2 years.

- Really? 2 years?

- A friend of mine described it.

Clock's ticking.

He blogged, "Soccer's...

soccer's chess on a field. "

Do you have a vomit

bag... vomit bags on you?

I'll send you the link.

I guess we could just... I'd

hate to throw up on a grave.

Why didn't you just go to

the Griffith Park Observatory

then to watch the meteor shower?

Oh, they have a**holes

there too. Trust me.

There're a**holes all over the city

But rarely do you get to be

next to one so spectacular.

The only knock on him though, I have

to say, is that he's from New York.

I can't stand that place.

Seriously. It's so overrated.

Why? Because of all the bridges and

the culture and the history they have?

Who needs it? I'll take Orlando any day.

They got so many more T.G.I. Fridays.

Do I love L.A.? You know, Los

Angeles is just more modern.

It has a certain relevancy about it

New York just doesn't have anymore.

Kimberly, I was wondering

if I could have your number?

- What?

- Your phone number?

Dude... she's with me.

No.

- Uh, yeah, she is.

- No, she's not.

Not yet anyway. At best,

this is a first date.

And I'm shocked that that even happened.

I have nothing against you.

You might not be a bad guy.

Most likely you are but maybe

not. You're incredibly handsome

and you were probably very

handsome when you were a kid, too.

I think that explains your lack

of substance and personality.

Only because nobody's ever

really challenged you before.

So now as an adult you

think everything you say

means something, but it

means nothing actually.

You don't know what

you're talking about.

And it's really upsetting. And I

think she probably sees through that.

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