Comic Book Villains Page #6

to throw around,

unfortunately.

Which is why I came

to see you.

Uh, see, some

of the guys and I

from high school,

you know, we get

to talking and stuff,

and your name pops up,

and, uh, you know,

no one really knows much

about what's goin' on,

but there are,

you know--

there are rumors

about you.

Oh, yeah?

Who says what?

Well, it's--

ok, it's not important.

What is--whew. Whoo!

Time out.

What is--whew. Whoo!

Time out.

Oh, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm remembering now.

I used to beat

the crap outta you.

Mackill-a-kiddie.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, macgillicuddy.

Cuddy.

Yeah, you used to cry

when I hit you.

Kicked you

in the balls once,

and you fainted.

No, I--I threw up

in front of

science class,

but, um, hey,

bygones be bygones, ok?

But, um, hey,

bygones be bygones, ok?

'Cause, see, I, uh,

think I've got

some work for you.

I want--I--

I need you to steal

something for me.

What's in it for me?

Well, I can't pay you.

Good-bye.

Listen, please.

Just give me a moment.

Uh, look--but I'll

give you a half--

a half of the profits

after resale,

and I'm talkin',

like, a lot of cash.

So what's to steal?

Comic books.

Good-bye.

No! No, listen!

Just hear me out.

Now, don't--

don't think--

forget I said comics.

don't even think comics.

Just think something

worth a lot of money.

Ok, just think--just

think the mother lode,

ok?

The holy grail

of comics.

Just--it's just--

it is worth--

god knows

what it's worth.

Million dollars,

maybe more.

I used to like comics.

So, are you interested?

Do we have a deal,

or can we partner

on this thing?

What's goin' on?

What did you--

I told you to wait

in the car!

Well, I called

the bank about that,

and they haven't

called back yet.

They haven't called back.

You know, you can call again.

Hello, norm. Judy.

Hey.

How's it goin'?

Oh, I'm fine. Fine.

Um, do you have

the most recent

Neil gaiman hardcover?

Um, do you have

the most recent

Neil gaiman hardcover?

Uh, the British edition,

not the American.

Oh, well,

we had that one,

but we're out now.

You're, uh,

slow on the uptake.

That's not like you.

Well, I didn't think

I wanted it,

but I changed my mind.

Well, change

is good.

Say, you take

your collectin'

pretty

seriously,

don't ya?

You spend a lot

every month.

Every week,

practically.

Yeah, between here

and Raymond's store,

you must spend

every single

spare cent, huh?

It's ok.

We know about

Raymond's store.

It's ok.

We know about

Raymond's store.

We don't

really consider

his store

competition.

We feel like

we offer

so much more.

In fact, we like

that you go there.

Say, conan, how

would you like

free comics?

Every week.

Gratis.

What would I have to do?

She said she wasn't

going to sell.

What was I supposed to do?

Do nothing, man.

You shrug

your shoulders,

you walk away,

and get on with the

rest of your life.

Archie, this

is my life, all right?

This is my life.

Archie, this

is my life, all right?

This is my life.

And then I saw

those beautiful books,

and I saw a way

I could finally

improve things. Finally.

When?

Tonight.

don't worry, ok?

I told him to be careful

and not hurt

your little girlfriend.

Oh. Hi, conan.

Hi, guys.

This is crazy.

Those lunatics are

gonna steal the books?

That's right.

This whole thing

has turned into

a sea of madness,

and we're clinging

to a buoy.

A boy? You on about

having a kid again?

Not a boy. A buoy.

A life buoy.

Oh! Oh.

Now I've lost

my train of thought.

Sorry. Sorry.

Clinging to a buoy

in a sea of madness.

Mm-hmm.

We can make this

simple again.

We can make this

simple again.

Why, I--I don't think

going in there with a gun

is simple.

I don't think so.

We stop the crime.

The old woman

sees us do it,

and she's grateful.

How can she

not be grateful?

Then we offer her

the money again.

Why don't we just tell

the cops what we know?

Then she'll be

grateful to them.

Jeez, norm. God.

It's whoever she sees

doing her right.

Oh.

This is

too dangerous,

I think.

If you do this for me,

I'll let you smoke a cigarette.

So began

the long night of

twists and turns.

Though looking back,

I still wonder about Carter,

with his violent temper

and his damp walls,

why he decided

to do what he did...

And how things

might have been

if he hadn't.

And how things

might have been

if he hadn't.

Is there anything

I should know about?

What?

You know, is there

anything I should know about

about you

and the old lady?

Is there anything,

like, Harold and maude

goin' on or somethin'?

Is there anything,

like, Harold and maude

goin' on or somethin'?

Gross! No.

We're just friends.

Look, I--hey!

I'm not saying, you know,

it would be

wrong if there was.

It's just, uh...

You know, far be it

for me to judge.

The heart wants

what the heart wants.

You're

creeping me out.

Oh, I'm creeping

you

out?

I'm not the one

doin' an old lady.

I'm not doin'

the old lady, ok?

She's my friend.

We hang out.

We talk about Spain.

Whatever you say, Romeo.

It's just...

You don't seem happy

about this whole thing.

I'm ecstatic

about it.

Just remember,

it's for the best.

The best.

The best

for who, ray?

Jesus. Do you

give a sh*t

what I think

about anything?

No, you don't!

I'm like

an accessory

to you.

Jesus!

Carter is

half an hour late.

We got here

15 minutes early.

I am sick

of this sh*t.

I am sick

of this sh*t.

Look, ok. If you're

so sick of this sh*t,

why don't you just go home,

back to your 4 walls

and a microwave?!

Is that what you want?

Archie... come on.

Ray.

Did you say that

Carter drove

a blue truck?

You did,

right? Blue?

Yeah.

I think I see it

parked behind

Mrs. cresswell's

house.

What?

I completely understand.

I'd be mad, too,

if I was being robbed.

But, uh... you know,

it's kinda like

a roller coaster ride.

There's nothin'

you can do,

except hang on and hope.

It's a nice house

you got here,

by the way.

Are you going to kill me?

I haven't decided yet.

But I like this town.

And, uh...

You identifying me,

you can imagine.

I'm an old woman.

I forget things.

Oh, yeah. That's right.

You're the, uh...

You're the drooling,

old, senile type,

aren't you?

Who you trying to fool?

Your voice is clear,

your eyes are sharp,

your voice is clear,

your eyes are sharp,

and this house

doesn't have that, uh,

that stale piss smell

most old folks'

places do.

Yeah, you're one

smart little cookie,

aren't you?

I tell you

what I'm gonna do.

These are the last

of the boxes.

I'm gonna load 'em up

into my truck,

and, uh...

And then I'll

make up my mind.

All right?

Aah! Aah!

Freeze!

Mrs. cresswell,

are you ok?

Mrs. cresswell,

are you ok?

You're late.

Oh, yeah? Well,

look who's early.

I figured

you'd see my truck

and follow me in.

Oh.

Thank you, god.

I'm so relieved.

I just--

Raymond, did you hear

what he just said?

He might kill Mrs. cresswell.

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