Confessions Of A Shopaholic Page #4

from a thrift store.

Probably paid half what you paid,

not that they often shop

at thrift stores.

- What?

- This is good.

- Really?

- Mmm.

Is it by Rebecca Bloomwood?

Yes! My friend Suze saw me writing it.

I mean, is that how

you want your name to appear?

- "By Rebecca Bloomwood"?

- Oh, right.

I don't want to be too associated

with this magazine.

Sorry?

Because I just think it would be better

to be slightly more of an everyman.

Um, a little more ooh-ooh-ohh.

Mysterious, rather than just...

Becky? Hmm.

Hmm.

"The Girl in the Green Scarf.

Thank you.

I bought your magazine

this morning and have already

told three stores where

to stick their credit cards."

Oh! Hey, check it out:

Jay Brogan, Queens, via e-mail:

"Man, is it easy to feel

those guys do it for your benefit.

- You never check the APR."

- Call him from my desk

- if you want. Oh.

- No, no. I'm OK.

"I'll tell you what, I have now.

Thanks, Mrs. Green Scarf."

We never get this kind of response.

Excuse me, sir. Edgar West.

That's not good. He hates us.

Luke Brandon.

I've just spent a few minutes

rather wrapped up

in your "Green Scarf."

I like it.

Uh, she obviously has a passion

for personal finance.

Excuse me, I'm sorry,

but he is really being persistent.

He needs to talk to you.

Could you tell him

that I'm busy, please.

You're a lucky man, Mr. Brandon.

It's this charity that

I'm the chairperson of, it's...

Thank you, sir. It seems that

he liked the column so much

that he's sending extra copies

of the magazine to his children.

Oh, my God. I can't believe that.

I'm really sorry, sir.

There's a man holding on line two,

and he says it's a matter

of life or death.

- What's his name?

- Um, Derek Smeath.

- Derek Smeath.

- Oh! No!

Ha!

Exactly how long has this

ex-boyfriend been stalking you?

Ever since the relationship ended.

He's been following me around

pretending to be a debt collector.

I was once stalked...

...by a dog.

OK. Look, take the rest of the day

and block all future calls

from Derek Smeath.

Yes, sir.

Spend it wisely, huh?

Oh, God. Dad?

Money... is what I came

to talk to you about.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, honey?

- Yeah?

- Becau...

- You got them wings?

- Coming.

It's funny because your mom and I

were gonna call you over here today

to talk about pretty much

the exact same thing. Money.

- Savings.

- Our money. Our life savings.

Really?

All our married life,

we've been the kind of people

that we just don't spend, we save.

We've built up quite a little nest egg.

- Of money.

- A big nest egg of money.

- Of dough.

- Yeah, we do.

And so, we decided...

That we wanted to

call you here,

our only beautiful,

lovely daughter

to tell you that, well...

We spent it!

Every last cent.

He's still just getting the hang of it.

Isn't she a babe?

He's wanted one of these

since the day I met him.

It's got a built-in blender,

four electric fans,

and a thermal sewage disposal.

Kathy and Gordon, in England,

you know the ones whose pool

collapsed because of the mold?

- Kathy with the beard?

- Yep.

Yes, she had electrolysis.

They sent us this off the Web.

It's an article about...

Makes you think about money.

- About what it's really worth.

- Security in your old age?

Or is it investing in what you love?

You have got to read it.

It's by someone called

The Girl in the Green Scarf.

She's a genius.

Oh, my God. Guys!

We're international!

Yes!

Luke, we've taken Asia.

Russell, how's that article

on mortgage brokers?

- It's gonna be huge.

- Paycheck.

- Uh, Rebecca?

- Thank you.

- Yes?

- I want you to come with me

to the APA Conference next week.

Absolutely. What's the APA Conference?

The biggest magazine

event of the year.

In Miami.

Oh, Luke. I think I should

definitely be there.

Early, I mean,

and you know, make sure that

the hotel's OK and find

good restaurants in case

anyone wants to relax.

Not that I intend to,

but you never know, some people might.

I'm glad

you're enthusiastic about it.

- I'm kind of excited myself.

- Oh. You are?

Yeah, I mean because a lot of people

are very excited to meet you.

You've opened up

a whole new demographic.

- You're opening up his what?

- Demographic.

- Mm-hmm.

- Which is why he wants to

take me to the beach.

I mean the conference.

Aren't you supposed

to be getting to Alette?

I'm on my way.

Once you're in, you're in.

- You're in as a finance guru.

- I give great financial advice.

Bex, have you ever considered

taking your own advice?

- Oh!

- Mom, calm.

Like, what would

The Girl in the Green Scarf

say about hiding Visa bills

under your bed?

- That is not relevant.

- That is so relevant.

It's the most relevant thing

in the world.

- Ah!

- There isn't another reason

why you want to go to Miami?

- No!

- Maybe it rhymes with Fluke?

Luke.

- Wha...

- That's it.

- You're making that face.

- What face?

Bex! You like him! This is terrible!

No, no. No, no. But hypothetically...

Hypothetically

you're being a big, fat liar!

You're advising people about debt,

and you're up to your eyeballs in it.

Yeah, hide under there.

Ooh, Monsieur Sherman.

My name is Brandon.

My mother's name is Sherman.

Yes. Monsieur discret. Mm-hmm.

Oh!

- You saved me.

- Not at all.

Oh, gosh!

You work at Successful Saving.

- Yes.

- We should have dinner.

OK, what am I

supposed to do?

Just be yourself.

- Luke, how are you?

- Hey, Luke.

They let you out of prison.

That's fantastic.

- Alicia.

- Luke.

Can I introduce Rebecca Bloomwood?

You may have read

The Girl in the Green Scarf.

What's the name of your column?

"Risky investment

is like a pair of platform boots."

Wait, nobody has ever

quoted me back to me before.

- Luke. Got a second?

- Yeah. Sure.

Wait, what were you in prison for?

- Oh, that was trumped-up.

- People out there trust you.

Butterfly investments.

- Thanks.

- Pleasure.

- Champagne, please.

- Right away, sir.

Hi. Are you from the United North Bank?

- I run it.

- I was walking past your bank.

You have the most boring

window displays in the world.

- She means the opposite.

- I'm serious.

It's as if somebody

hit the snooze button in my brain,

and told me it was OK to sleep

another ten minutes.

- Really.

- Yes.

You need to put some pretty

pink umbrellas or something

- to get people in.

- Mr. Lewis, look here.

Know what else you could do?

- You could have a sale.

- A sale?

Yes. Fee reductions.

And free doughnuts.

She writes a humorous column,

humor is part of her language.

- I'll get another.

- Unusual ideas.

Luke, your writer, she's out of control.

Keep her on a leash.

She's damaging the magazine.

She doesn't need a leash,

I'd say quite the contrary.

What was the piece of tabloid

sensationalism you sent me?

The Jon Goldman expose?

A well-researched, supported article.

His organization is corrupt,

full of financial holes.

Not running the piece. His company's

worth two million to Dantay-West.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes