Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber Page #8

Rice-A-Roni...

and most of all, my adoptive|mother Katya Livingston!

We've all gained two pounds|since she sent us...

the San Francisco treat.

We love you, mommy!

Is Katya Livingston|still here?

She's here...|Hi. Coming.

Hello, Dove.

Thanks.

Katya, on behalf|of Youth Aid International...

I'd like to thank you|for all your efforts...

in helping Sabelo|and his village.

-Thank you.|-Julie, it's been a pleasure.

I mean I've always been|heavily involved in charity.

And when my dear friend Eliza|asked me to sponsor Sabelo...

I knew that I had to do my part|in helping the less fortunate.

Actually, that's a lie.

I adopted a kid|for the tax break.

See, I told you|she was a sociopath!

Security, can we get|rid of this nut job?

Wait! Dove's right.

I am a total fraud.

I lie about everything|just to get ahead.

I didn't graduate Magna|Cum Laude from Stanford...

I barely made it out|of U.C. Santa Cruz.

Teddy, I never submitted|your novel to the NEA.

I won the grant and blew|half of it on this dress.

Lyle, I have shown up late and|left early a thousand times.

I am responsible for the deaths|of your goldfish and iguana.

Eliza, you have always been there for|me no matter how I treated you.

I slept with|the guy you puked on.

And finally...

I tried to use this great guy just|to get into this stupid ball.

I was so worried about being|in the right place...

that I ended up missing|the best thing of all.

Him.

Did I mention that I wear|designer knock-offs?

And...

I thought the kid was gold.

Katya, the video|was beautiful.

We can't buy press|like that.

We're going to be in every|paper from coast to coast.

And by the way, focus groups|loved the American treat.

That carb thing|was a total turn off.

Turns out rice has more|carbs than wonderbread.

He lied about the facts.

Lyle, we'll work with you...

but only if Katya|is our point person.

-She's your point person.|-I don't work there anymore...

and I really have to go.

Katya, come on. Please,|think about it.

-I'll give you a nice desk.|-I don't think so.

Don't worry,|I'm going to work this out.

You know, the advertising|game, it's a jungle.

Is this seat taken?

Charles!|What are you doing here?

Long night,|big party, lots of drama...

-It sounds fun.|-Not really.

I'm not much for big soirees...

or catfights.

I don't know.|I needed to think.

I didn't think|I'd have company.

Well I climbed all the way up|the social ladder...

and figured out it was lonely.

So I needed to think too.

Gucci was closed?

So what are you|thinking about?

Well there's this girl...

God, there's always a girl.

Tell me about her.

She's a liar...

a social climber...

animal killer...

She sounds awful.

She's everything|that I didn't want.

Everything that's not|on my list.

And yet I can't stop|thinking about her.

Maybe that's because|the list is misleading.

And maybe it's because she's a|bunch of other things as well.

She's complex,|and intriguing...

and full of surprises.

Like tonight. She did|this incredibly brave thing.

It was about time.

Well some people never come|clean about who they are.

Especially in front of 250|San Franciscan socialites.

But I didn't.

Not completely.

I don't know how much|more I can handle.

My real name is Katy.

I like Katy.|Katy I can handle.

Now my turn.

I spray tan.

Really?|It looks good.

Thanks.

What else?

I really like you.

I really like you too.

Cab fare from Covington Castle:|Thirty Five dollars.

Ripping coture gown:|$85 dollars.

Finding happiness that|has nothing to do...

with money, parties,|or designer clothing:

what do you know|priceless.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes