Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen Page #3

we were invited to his party?

You would have done the exact

same thing if you were me.

I wouldn't have lied.

I would have thought

before I spoke.

I can't even imagine being you.

Carla Santini drives me insane.

Don't even say that.

Two of her nannies

were institutionalized.

Not to worry.

You just handed her

exactly what she needs

to ridicule you

and humiliate you

for the rest of your life,

and me, too!

I guess it depends, doesn't it?

Depends on what?

Well, on whether we go.

To the concert?

In New York?

And the party.

We haven't exactly been invited.

You don't have to be invited

to a party like that.

There are people

in New York that don't go out

unless it's to crash

a celebrity bash.

My mother would never let me go.

We can work around

your mother, Ella.

Tell the truth.

Are you partially insane?

You know, we have to go.

It's a matter of pride.

Is there something wrong

with the salmon?

No, just not very hungry.

In too much pain.

I'm in pain, too.

My tooth's coming out.

Oh!

It's not that kind of pain.

It's pain of the heart.

Sidarthur's broken up.

They're having one last concert

in New York.

That's it.

They're done.

Good night, sweet princes.

May choirs of rock angels

sing you to sleep.

I have no reason

to live without them.

Let me take a wild guess.

You want to go to the concert.

If I could just see them

play live.

I'd have the memory

to carry me through

the long, empty years that lie

ahead, like a road in Kansas.

Okay, I don't think

that kids and rock concerts

are a great mix.

How can you treat me like this?

I was your firstborn.

You leaned over my crib

to make sure I was breathing.

That's why I want to

keep you alive.

She wouldn't even stop for the

tiniest, most subatomic second

to consider

my fragile hopes and dreams.

What did Ella's mother say?

She didn't ask her.

She said her mom would

bite off a $10 acrylic nail

if she even brought it up.

So I guess that's that.

No, I'm not exactly a

"que ser, ser" kind of person.

Right.

I like your necklace.

Thanks.

I've had it since I was 6.

It's practically an antique.

I like your boots.

Thanks.

I like your smile.

Om.

Om.

Dinner, Mary, now.

I'm on a hunger strike,

like Gandhi,

driven to desperate measures

by the insensitivity

of the British government.

Not one morsel will pass my lips

until you say

I can go see Sidarthur.

You have got two minutes

to get to this table

or the insensitive

British government

is gonna take the door

off its hinges

and drag you out here.

Hello?

Om.

Come in if you must.

Yeah.

The thing is, the drama queen

has been Gandhi for two days.

-I'll take her.

-Okay, I will try it.

Your dad wants to know if

he can take you to the concert.

Hi, Dad.

Thanks for the invitation, but

I couldn't go with my father.

I'd die of shame.

Okay.

All right.

-Love you.

-Love you, too.

Bye.

Hello? Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

-Om.

-I'll try it.

Okay, how about this?

Daddy drops you off at the

concert and picks you up after.

You mean like a little kid

being picked up from day-care?

Is there no end

to the humiliation

you want to heap upon me, Mom?

We're heaping humiliation.

Yeah. Okay.

Bye.

All right,

tonight you are eating.

Is Mary going to die?

She's not gonna die.

But it smells like something

has died in here.

What is that smell?

Okay.

That's it.

No allowance for one month,

and then you're gonna have

a parole hearing.

But I could really use

the money now, Mom.

Can't you take it away

next month or September?

No.

It's so cool.

I have been looking

all over for you two.

I knew you'd want to see these.

See, they just came in the mail.

They've just been printed.

Please, you're blocking my view.

So, did you get yours yet?

Actually, mine came

in the mail yesterday,

but I'm nice enough

not to flaunt them.

Why don't you admit

you don't have tickets

or an invite

and get it over with?

I'm sure there's gonna be

a lot of photographers there.

Maybe we can even get

our pictures taken together.

That's a deal.

And you can be

in the shot, too, Ella.

Absolutely.

I'll be there.

Really?

I guess.

I have enough for both of us.

I'm gonna pay you back

the second I get

my allowance reinstated.

As soon as I get

my first starring role,

I'm taking you to Europe.

You sure we have enough?

Oh, no.

Company.

Wow, look who's here.

I'd stay and chat, but l

don't want to stay and chat.

She was so mean

to Callie Stevens,

and her family had to move

to Cleveland.

Catch you at the concert Friday.

That would be a good line

if we were going.

I don't think something as small

as tickets should stop us.

Scalpers, Ella.

Part of the fun

in going to New York

is dealing with

the slimeball scalpers.

If we go, I just know

something is gonna go wrong.

I'm gonna die, and my parents

are gonna find out.

And then Mrs. Higgins says,

"And what will you do now,

dear?"

Hi.

Hey, Mom.

There's gonna be a cast party

at Carla "The Bad" Santini's

house after the show.

Everyone's gonna be

really dressed up.

It's my big night.

I want to look

absolutely perfect.

Well, the car broke down today.

That cost me $600.

Plus I have to buy a new kiln.

So, do you think you could look

absolutely perfect

in something

that you already own?

Sure, I'll try

and find something.

Yeah.

Can you believe

64 hours from now

we'll be within

touching distance

from the man

who wrote so many great songs,

and I still haven't found

something to wear?

What I needed for the concert

was a drop-dead-gorgeous dress

that made me look 25

and sophisticated enough

to have a perfume

named after me.

This had to be really,

really special.

It had to be glamorous,

and it had to make a statement.

If I wanted Stu Wolff

to notice me, that is.

Might as well just wear this

to see Stu.

Nothing else to wear anyway.

I'm gonna be the dowdy redhead

who doesn't know how to dress.

Don't worry, Ella,

I'll find something to wear.

I mean, accessories

are good, too.

They'll help me.

Don't cry.

I can't lie!

I can't say I'm sleeping over

at your house when I'm not.

I can't go into New York

behind my parents' backs.

I can't do it.

We're not really

going behind their backs.

They're gonna be in the city,

just not in the same venue.

I'm not going.

I'm not going.

I'm not going.

We're supposed to do

things like this.

15-year-olds in other cultures

are grandmothers.

No one gave them

permission to do that.

It's not our fault

that the people

who brought us into this world

don't understand that we must

fly away from the nest.

Nature is telling us to go.

And our parents are good people.

They love us.

Yeah, they love us, right?

They really love us.

I'm sure they'd hate

if anything happened to us.

Wait here one second, okay?

Don't cry.

It's gonna work out.

We'll go, and it'll be fun.

I can't lie!

Mom, it's amazing how sometimes

I come to your conclusions.

Ella and I could use,

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