Confetti Page #9

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won't give it to us if we look like losers.

Right. First off, let's go through

couple by couple, couple by couple.

The judge in the green suit seems to be a fan.

- He was lovely, wasn't he?

- He keeps saying, "Well done."

- Just wanted to say congratulations.

- Thanks.

- Good luck.

- Congratulations.

Yeah.

- We'll have a drink later.

- Yeah.

They are so two-faced.

Think about innovation.

It was really innovative.

- Well, let's all put down a score.

- Original. In that you wouldn't do it again.

- You look so beautiful. You absolutely do.

- So do you.

You've got a great body.

I had to tell him to stop looking at your bum.

- They know they've won, that's why...

- They don't. They have not won.

They have not necessarily won.

We could still win. For God's sake.

Ladies and gentlemen,

if I could have your attention, please.

The judging panel have reached a verdict.

And Vivien, the editor of the magazine,

has the golden envelope,

and it would be churlish not to let her do

the honors, she's done so much of the work.

So, Vivien, over to you.

OK. And the winner is...

Yes!

Matt and Sam!

Fix! It's a fix!

- No, I think not really the time...

- It's a fix!

Josef, it is not the time. Don't be a bad loser.

- It's a fix.

- It's not a tennis match.

- Donkey! Bring it on.

- It was a fair and square competition.

I object to that in the strongest possible

terms. Let Matt and Sam have their moment.

Round of applause for Matt and Sam.

Now, I've got the key, I've got the key

to a half a million pound house

for Matt and Sam, our winners,

winning fair and square.

Since that competition, I've trusted

my intuition. I've trusted in my dreams.

Because you have an idea like that,

and it's that big a success,

you think, "Well, just trust

in yourself and go for it."

So what I've done is take some of the profit

from that competition, the success of it,

and I've invested it in music.

Not just a couple of CDs.

I've bought a record label.

And, you know, doing some A&R.

Oh, please, God, you know,

the deeds are gonna come through soon.

They've told us, haven't they, not to worry.

It's all all right, it's OK.

But of course you never actually can believe

it until you're there, in your new home.

- So, we're keeping our fingers crossed.

- Yeah.

I would say to anyone

thinking of getting married, do it,

if you are doing it for the reason

that you just love the other person.

I went into a bit of a decline

after the weddings.

- Post-nuptial depression.

- In bed for four weeks.

Hit him pretty hard.

- But we're over that. I'm coaching.

- He's fantastic with children.

The forehand is this, there, there, there.

Got it? Right. Go away.

We're thinking

about one of our own.

Who knows what, er...

nose they'll... get.

Mainly, we've just sort of found out

that the only people we really need

to be naked in front of is each other.

We don't call ourselves naturists any more.

We call ourselves...

- Well, I call myself Michael.

- And I'm Joanna.

- And, er, yeah. That seems to work better.

- Better, I think.

- Erm...

- You're not doing this, are you?

- Are you... Are you really doing this?

- Shh, be quiet. This is my bit.

Er, Gregory Hough, erm... I...

Will you marry me?

Is that the right hand?

It's actually...

One love.

Peace.

Don't stand around on the edges of other

people's weddings crying at pretty brides

and thinking, "Oh, wouldn't it be nice if?"

If you see what you want, go and get it.

So that's what we're doing.

And you should too.

Heron and Hough, your dreams are enough.

- You were great.

- Well, you were.

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