Connie and Carla Page #2

Take the world

in a lovely embrace

Fire all of your guns at once and

Explode into space

Born to be wild

They look friendly here.

Oh, I really like it here.

Me too. I got a good

feeling about this, Carla.

- Yeah? Me too.

- Yeah. Okay.

It really feels safe here.

Oh, gunshot!

Oh, Connie, they found us!

We're gonna die! Let

me look! Let me look!

Oh, we're okay.

We're okay.

Oh, cute!

Don't bother, Carla. They're all

just Als and Mikeys with a tan.

No more boyfriends for us.

Oh, wait, back up!

Back up!

Where are you?

Are you okay?

They're not okay. Are

you eating? Okay, Mom-

We're eating, Ma. Well,

what are you doing for money?

I'm sure they've got jobs.

As prostitutes.

I'd be hard pressed to say I can't remember a

better-looking group of tourists. And I mean that.

I hope you're ready, 'cause today is the

day when all the stars are coming out.

So, keep your cameras ready,

'cause here we go.

Oh, look at that.

Another celebrity

getting arrested.

Kidding. I'm kidding.

Okay. Now-

Excuse me, sir? Could we please

drive by Debbie Reynolds's house?

- Oh, yeah!

- Ah, no. That's not on the tour.

Keep your eyes peeled both left and

right, because celebrities... Sir?

will just pop at you

at anytime. Sir? Sir?

Hi. Are there any

dinner theaters in town?

Uh, not in this decade.

Now-

Sir, isn't there a place...

- where we could sit for dinner and a show?

- Yeah, my face.

Hey, it's Jeff. I, uh, I

came by to see you again,

but, uh,

you're not home again.

But, uh, I'm bound

to run into you sometime, right?

I'm gonna keep trying. So, uh, anyway, I

- I can't wait to see you.

I will, uh,

I will talk to you later.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

None of these jobs

pay real money.

I know.

I'll go make some calls.

Okay.

We'll fnd something.

We're the only salon in Los Angeles

that does the hijiki herbal clay wrap.

You have done wrapping before.

Oh, yeah. There was

a ton of these salons in France.

Where we're from...

originally.

Oh. Trs bien.

You can fnish it then.

Seal it tightly with ductile sheathing.

Right.

Excuse me, Mrs. Morse.

Oh, sure.

Okay.

- Is that too tight?

- No, no, this is good.

It'll help squish out all that water

I've been retaining.

Fifteen pounds to go.

Mrs. Morse, you're thin.

- No, no, I'm not.

- But you are, really.

- No. No.

- Your leg is-

- No, no.

- Oh.

Can't even get my butt

through this door.

Hello.

The "I hate my body" salon.

May I help you? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Oh, they're gone.

Mrs. Morse, are you okay?

Well, the girl said

it's the new look.

Straw hair and beige lipstick?

Well, it's the new

California look, right?

- Yeah, for dead Californians.

- Oh.

Don't be sad.

We can help you.

I love it!

You're fred!

Now we don't have any money

for rent. This is so hard!

I miss Mikey.

And poor Frank is dead.

When they fnd us,

we're dead too.

Oh! What are you doing?

We need to get drunk.

What?

Shake it again.

Shake your groove thing

Shake your groove thing,yeah,yeah

Show 'em how they do it now

Shake your groove thing

Shake your groove thing,yeah,yeah

Show 'em how they do it now

Show 'em how they do it now

They sound great.

They're lip-synching.

Strut our stuff

The music gives us a chance

Mary.

Yes, Mary?

Did you hear, they're moving

their act to Vegas.

Wow!

This is it.

If we could do our act here,

I could die happy.

Can anyone audition?

Yes, I can.

We're going to get the job.

Now don't get your hopes up, sweetie. It's

an audition. We have to practice tomorrow.

Ooh, I know what we're

going to wear. Chickapow.

We've got the rhythm tonight

Are you crazy?

Why not?

Because we're women.

No one needs to know that.

No way, Connie. No way.

Ready. Smile.

Yeah?

Mary, we heard you're

looking for a new act.

That's right, Mr. Mary.

Doll, stop praying. You're

looking at the Second Coming.

Sign in. Go backstage.

You're on last.

God, I'm beautiful.

Where'd you fnd that though?

Really?

Here you go, girl.

Oh, tape, tape. Thank you.

Oh, here, here, here, here.

Thanks. There you go. Thank you.

All right, try this. "Girl, what

you wearing, your prom dress?"

Girl, what you wearing

your prom dress for?

Better?

Mm-hmm.

What about our voices?

Way too high to be guys. Yeah,

this is gonna lower the key.

Don't forget to adjust

on the harmony.

Okay.

Carla, come on. Throw your

shoulders back. Have some attitude.

God, these tight tops

make us so flat.

Right. And we look just like them,

except they have these. There.

Al and Mikey were right.

We are dreamers.

That audience is gonna see straight

through us, and it could get ugly.

Carla, for one night,

we get to sing again.

Come on. Chins up,

b*obs out. It's showtime.

Shazam!

It's just a jump to the left

And then a step to the right

With your hands on your hips

Your bring your knees in tight

But it's the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insane

Let's do the Time Warp again

How 'bout a big hand...

for our very own

Peaches 'N'Cream.

That's not what

- You were hitting me with that duster.

- I loved it.

- You were better than me.

All right, our next act

is in town from, uh, Winnipeg.

They're new, so be nice

- You didn't tell them our real names.

I took care of it.

All right, please welcome...

Al and Mikey.

Oh, Cabaret. Original.

Wait, it's Liza... again.

I can't do it!

Yes, you can.

No.

Maybe this time

I'll be lucky

Maybe this time he'll stay

Maybe this time

For the frst time

Love won't hurry away

Is she singing?

Yes, he is.

He will hold me fast

I'll be home

At last

Not a loser anymore

Like the last time and

The time before

Everybody

Loves a winner

So nobody loved me

Lady peaceful

Lady happy

That's what I long to be

All the odds are

Him I favor

Something's bound to begin

It's gonna happen

Happen sometime

Maybe this time

I'll win

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Thank you.

We're Connie-

- And Carla.

- More!

Hit it!

I'm just a girl

who can't say no

I'm in a terrible fx

I always say, " "Come on, let's go"

Just when I oughta say

Don't cry for me, Argentina

The truth is I never left you

All through my wild days

my mad existence

I kept my promise

Don't keep your distance

Have I said too much

There's nothing more

I can think of to say to you

But all you have to do

is look at me to know

That every word is true

Don't cry for me, Argentina

The truth is I never left you

All through my wild days

my mad existence

I kept my promise

Don't keep your distance

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! What just

happened? Oh, my God!

Oh, you guys! Where the hell

did you queens come from?

The Evita stuff

made me tingle.

The Evita stuff made me tingle.

Wednesdays and Sundays, 200 a week.

Three hundred a week

and 10% of the door.

No way.

Okay, fne.

Congratulations. You guys are

fabulous. Thanks. Thank you.

Come on, Toto.

Having trouble making ends meet.

Not the frst time.

May not be able

to pay you that much.

That's okay.

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