Connie and Carla Page #8

what the cops and-

First, we owed some money,

and then we saw something...

and we've been

hiding for a while,

pretending to be something

that we're not.

Hey, who saw Yentl?

So Barbra Streisand wants to study

the Talmud, right?

But, she can't because she's a woman,

so she pretends to be a man,

and, uh, one thing

leads to the next,

and before you know it-

Uh- Everybody- Everybody

believes that she's a man.

So she has to keep lying

- even though she wants to stop, she can't,

'cause she has to keep lying

to people that she cares about.

You know, that have

been really kind.

Look, uh,

we're women.

No, you don't get it.

We're women.

Oh-ho-ho. Oh-ho-ho.

We're sorry we lied.

So sorry.

Boo.

Get off the stage.

Let's go back to Chicago.

The patio door is shut and our

hair is caught in it. I know.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Hello.

Didn't you used to work

at the Slimming Salon?

Yes.

Mrs. Morse?

Well, I don't care what you are.

You always made me feel beautiful.

- But we thought you were men,

and you're not really men.

Oh, honey, who is anymore?

- I thought something was up.

- Me too.

- No, you didn't.

- Girls, in an art form based on...

being true to one's real self,

welcome to your outing.

- Jeff?

- Connie.

- Oh, great. More drama.

- You came to my show.

- I love show tunes.

- Hey, everybody, this is my brotherJeff.

Hi,Jeff!.

Hi.

You look, uh-

You look different.

Jeff, I'm a woman.

It's an authentic look. Yeah, but-

No. I mean I'm female.

We're girls.

We were faking it.

It's this long story-

Connie, please,

we've been over that.

Really.

Really?

Really?

Yes!

Well, I could get used to that.

Jeff is the guy?

Yeah.

You're the guy.

Get up here and kiss her, you fool.

- Ooh. The fnale.

What?

- The fnale.

- Oh!

There is nothing like a dame

Nothing in the world

There is nothing you can name

That is anything like a dame

There are no books like a dame

And nothing looks like a dame

There are no drinks like a dame

Carla's a big star now.

And I'm her boyfriend.

Nothing acts like a dame

Or attracts like a dame

There ain't a thing that's wrong

with any man here

That can't be cured

by putting him near

A girlie, womanly, female, feminine

Dame

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