Connie and Carla Page #7

- Wait. He killed Frank?

- You should listen to some of the guys once in a while.

- Al, we saw him kill poor Frank.

- To death.

- What happened?

- Rudy knows you're in L.A.

- We gotta get out of town.

- We can't. The offcial dinner theater opening is tomorrow night.

We can't let everybody down. They're

depending on us. We can't do that to Stanley.

Why'd you cheat on me, Mikey?

I didn't, Carla. Ever.

Al just made that up

because he was mad at Connie.

Come on, Carla.

Don't go be a guy.

You don't understand, Mikey. I like doing the

show. I'm good at it. I like being Carla and Connie.

- Connie and Carla.

- Yeah. How come your name's always frst?

- It sounds better. We talked about it.

- This is serious!

- We know.

- So let's go already.

Hold on. I need time to think.

Your voice is giving me shingles.

We need time. Connie's gonna make

a plan. I'm gonna make a plan.

She's gonna make a plan. Fine. Call us at this

motel. Room 209. First thing in the morning.

You wanna stay over? Yeah. Mikey!

- Carla, let's go.

- Connie, did you miss me?

No.

Yeah, you did.

Rudy. I find them.

I'm an ass.

I should've seen your show.

I should've told my girlfriend about you.

I should've loved you and accepted you...

and been okay with the fact

that you wear dresses.

I'm sorry, Robert.

It's just that when you left home,

it was hard on me. I was 12 years old.

I wake up one morning

and you were just gone.

You didn't call me. You never

even wrote to me. I got kicked out.

What? No.

Mom and Dad kicked me out.

They found my bra.

You thought I left?

Yeah.

Well, whatever happened,

Mom regrets it.

- She does?

- Oh, yeah. Dad too.

Ha.

No. They wanna see you.

Jeff, for the frst time

in my life, I like who I am.

Forget it.

I wanna be part of your life.

I'll say hi to Mom and Dad for you.

And Grandma too.

Okay.

Oh, uh, and Jeff,

uh,just a heads up.

My roommate, 'N' Cream,

is on a tear to kick your ass.

- 'N' Cream that- Oh, the

little- the little- - Yeah. The-

- Tell him- Tell him to bring it.

- Make a joke. I warned you.

- Thanks for the warning.

- Go, go, go. Go.

Hi.

Hi.

Robert's not here. Yeah, I

know. I just came from up there.

Uh-huh. About the other

night, I wanted to-

Yeah. Um, how's Mary?

Well, we talked about things

for hours. It's not good.

I mean, the relationship,

it's just- We broke up.

Oh.

I wanted to apologize to you.

Um, you're not freaks.

You're not a freak.

I hated seeing you hurt.

Thanks,Jeff.

I have fun when I'm with you.

Well, all of you, you know?

It's just, I'm not

- I know. You told me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.

Good morning, L.A.

Looking at the freeways,

three cars got together on

the 101 at Winnetka. Mikey.

Connie and Carla will call.

I know.

Sahara Motel.

Hi, Room 209.

I'll connect you.

Hello.

Hi, Al.

Connie.

Listen, we're coming-

Mikey, talked to this guy.

Rudy's on his way. What?

He's gonna kill us all. We

gotta get out of here. Okay, bye.

Mikey just talked to a guy from work.

Rudy's on his way to L.A. We gotta go!

No.

Carla. We're gonna die.

I am so sorry for dragging you

into this mess. I love this mess.

Thank you for dragging me.

Pun intended.

Listen, who says they're gonna

fnd us in this big city anyway?

Would they be looking for

a couple of queens?

Here's my plan. We launch the

show. We stay for one night.

The audience sees how great the guys are and they

come back, and Stanley doesn't lose any money.

That's a good plan.

I know.

One night.

One last show. Okay?

Okay.

So, I've been thinking.

We should have the guys enter from the back

of the house on "Good Morning Starshine. "

Oh, honey. If you're gonna enter

from the house,

you've gotta do it on "76 Trombones. "

Debbie Reynolds!

Debbie Reynolds! Hi, hi, hi!

Hello there. Hello there.

Somebody put a letter in my mailbox.

I saw your house on the Star Map.

You know, you've got a pretty

hot idea here. A dinner theater.

Will you please be in our show?

Yeah, will you please be in our show?

We open tonight, so there's not

a lot of time to rehearse.

Oh, honey, I've got sheet music and

gorgeous gowns and a good underwire bra.

I could go on now.

- So chins out, b*obs up,

it's showtime.

Thank you.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to welcome you to the offcial

opening of Stanley's Dinner Theater-

We love you, Stanley!

Thank you.

And now, please say hello

to the Belles of the Balls...

and the one, the only,

Connie and Carla.

- Oh, sit back, sweets.

- It's just us.

- Have we got a show for you. - I hope

you brought a change of panties, 'cause-

I'm just a girl who can't say no

I'm in a terrible fx

I always say, "Come on, let's go"

Just when I oughta say nix

When a person tries to kiss a girl

I know she oughta give

his face a smack Smack.

Smack!

But as soon as someone kisses me

I somehow, sort of wanna

kiss him back

Back

Ladies and gentlemen, please

welcome our very special guest,

Ms. Debbie Reynolds.

There are worse things I could do

Doo-wop

Then go with a boy or two

Two-wop

Even though the neighborhood

thinks I'm trashy

And no good

She's no good

I suppose it could be true

But there's worse things I could do Wop

Memory

All alone in moonlight

I could smile at the old days

Police. Drop the cat.

I was beautiful then

On your knees.

Hands in the air.

Kiss today good-bye

The sweetness and the sorrow

We did what we had to do

Won't forget

Can't regret

What I did for love

What I did for love

What I did for love

Good morning starshine

The earth says hello

You twinkle above us

We twinkle below

Oh, my God! I can't believe it!

What are we gonna do?

You lead us along

As we sing

our early morning singing song

You coax the blues

right out of the horn, Mame

You charm the husk

right off of the corn, Mame

You've got the banjoes strummin'

And plunkin' out

a tune to beat the band

The whole plantation's humming

You've got something that's mine.

You killed poor Frank.

- Let 'em go, Mr. Rudy.

- Get lost.

- Kick it, girls!

- Mame

Let's go, ladies.

No!

Take care of the Debbie.

I loved you in

What's the Matter with Helen.

You screwed up the number,

you bastard!

Get up!

Beads!

Hey!

Get 'em.

You guys are bad!

- Police! Everybody freeze!

- These are the bad guys!

These are the bad guys!

- You gotta take 'em away.

- All right, ladies. We'll take it from here.

- He killed fat man!

- He had a gland problem!

Cuff'em!

- You're horrible!

How do you like it? How do you

like it? What are you doing?

Hey.

Oh, Mikey, I love you!

- I love you.

- Thanks, Al. You did good.

- Hey! Good show.

- Thanks.

- You need a baritone?

- Yeah, call us when you get out.

Okay. On with the show. "Mame. "

Top of"corn. "

- What the hell was that all about?

- Um, the Guys and Dolls tribute?

Oh, save it, Mary.

What just happened?

Come on, Connie.

Let's tell 'em the truth.

No more lies.

I'm sure you're all wondering...

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