Conversations with My Gardener Page #3

Want a taste.

No, thank you.

I pulled out the rose bushes.

They'd had it.

They were old.

Mother pampered them.

Gorgeous colours and perfumes,

old fashioned roses.

There was still a label on the stake.

The roots had become tinder.

A devil to pull out.

Ask your dentist.

By the way...

I wrote down the dentist's name.

You never know.

How is it pronounced?

B... B...

- Bzysiski?

- He's a pole.

Keep it. Just reading his name

gives me a toothache.

We should choose our names.

Oh? And what would you

call yourself?

- Gardener.

- Good call.

- And me?

- Dauber.

I'm sure you call me Dauber

to your family.

No, not a bit.

You must mention me.

- Sometimes.

- And what do you call me?

No offence?

Tell me anyway.

The boss.

That's ridiculous.

Yes... it's my son-in-law.

Not the garage one,

the supermarket guard.

He put the word in my mind.

"The boss" this, "The Boss" that.

Reckons it's modern American.

A bit stupid, is he?

- Notjust a bit.

- Right.

That's a good looking knife.

Yes. Good looking and good.

It'd cut sliced bread.

A word of advice, if I may.

Always carry a knife.

And also...

a piece of string.

It can be a lifesaver.

Remember that.

I will.

There.

There's elephants' graveyards

that's a kippers' graveyard.

Mr Gardener's Kipper Graveyard.

Like an Erik Satie title.

He's a musician.

Right. I'll leave the keys

on the kitchen windowsill.

Will you lock up?

- If you come tomorrow.

- I will.

See the plumber,

and tell him about your garden tap,

where, how tall, etc.

I understand.

You'll see the electrician.

Not Deruzeau.

- Don't worry, I changed.

- You pay, you choose.

Will you see the painter for the key?

- When are you back?

- As soon as possible.

Don't worry, I won't stay

a day over three weeks.

Bye, Gardener.

Bye, Dauber.

Go easy, there's rain coming.

Really... You think so.

I don't think. I know.

Yes!

Hello. Yes, it's me. I've just arrived.

It rained all the way up.

Still on for lunch?

The Chinese.

You're sure.

Right. See you tomorrow.

Yes. Take care.

Not eating.

Neither are you.

I'm not that keen on exotic food.

I'm only here to please you.

Some wine?

Seen Maitre Coiffard?

What?

My lawyer? On Monday.

- Not before?

- She's busy.

Could I have the wine list?

I need to know

you've thought this through.

Thank you.

If you...

Thank you.

If you've no regrets.

Once it's under way...

But it's under way.

It's been under way for 5 years.

I've been patient.

And unappy.

Now I'm impatient.

And relieved.

The sooner the better.

You say five years

but it suddenly matters now.

Why now?

- Have you met someone.

- No.

I was just saying.

How's publishing?

I see you're preparing an album.

"Magritte, Ensor & Co."

The Belgians are trendy now.

When do you go back?

I've people to see.

No doubt!

You're obsessed!

I've things to do, friends to see.

- You like life there?

- Very much.

We could sell Paris.

Why?

I may have a buyer.

I have ten.

The bill please.

I won't see the lawyer.

Why do you want a divorce?

We can each live separately.

Thank you.

But not divorce.

Right. Let's go.

Sorry, but...

I'm sick of this place.

We can split things ourselves,

like adults.

I keep the workshop,

you have the gallery and the flat.

You don't get it. I want a divorce.

Why?

We make a list of what's mine,

what's yours, and we sign.

Sell what you like.

We just change our relationship.

Each to his own.

You see who you like,

do what you like.

What a nerve!

Was I the one taking liberties?

I just want us to stay friends.

We haven't argued.

Let's keep it that way.

Although...

I could make a play for you.

- Don't.

Right.

And your daughter?

How do you tell her

you're divorcing?

My daughter is also your daughter.

There's nothing to tell.

She made my mind up.

What?!

Carole?

Yes! You think she's still

at the cuddly toy stage?

- Carole!

- Yes.

I'm staggered.

Hello, stranger!

Tired of nature already?

Not at all.

Just stocking up on provisions.

- With stretchers?

- Please.

- I hope you're parked nearby.

- In front.

I'll see to it all.

Coming to Tony's viewing on Saturday?

- This week?

- Next.

- We'll all be there.

- I'll try.

If Tony knows you were here...

He'll be really chuffed.

He'd love your opinion.

Good-bye and thanks.

- See you Saturday.

- I'll try.

I'm parked up here.

You're here!

- Hi.

- Good of you to come.

- Seen everything?

- Not yet.

- You will tell me?

- I promise.

We must do lunch

and have a good chat.

OK?

I'll leave you,

my Japanese buyers are waiting.

Sayonara!

Excuse me.

You came?

Not still in the country?

No.

Thanks.

Jean-Etienne,

a good friend, an artist.

I was his student.

Jean-Etienne's a photographer.

Nice to meet you.

We were discussing Tony.

What do you think?

I think Tony's finally tapped into

his basic talent for colour.

His blacks are superb.

They have exceptional luminosity.

Like Caravaggio.

Sorry, I don't quite follow.

Enlighten me on his blacks.

His blacks are electrified by

subtle shimmering ripples. You see?

Yes, that's quite clear.

But how do you come to judge

with such certainty?

Simple enough.

I look, I analyse

and I state my opinion.

- And yours?

- On Tony?

I like Tony a lot

but this exhibition...

I don't know.

I find it... misty. That's it.

Misty. You know

what a friend said recently?

I'm anxious to learn.

He said when it's misty,

you can't see much.

A rather superficial point of view.

Simplistic, even.

- Mine is sharper, more...

- Trendy.

Yes.

It's to see colour

in bands of non-colour.

To see more than black in black.

To see non-white.

Jean-Etienne,

have you heard of the zzee?

- The tzuh?

- No, the zzee.

The zzee?

A new movement you don't know?

Yes, I've heard of it, but...

Isn't it Japanese?

Not at all.

Zzee is cutting edge.

Avant-garde anti-vrit?

Not at all.

It's what a scythe does.

Zzee cuts the crap.

It eliminates what you don't need,

useless weeds,

parasites...

Everything.

Yes, I see.

I'll be going, then.

I've a meeting.

I'll be in touch, Magda.

Thanks for introducing Mr...

Dauber.

Dauber.

Dauber. Like Gardener,

Mason...

or Berk.

But...

Why did you lay into him?

You know very well why.

He was a pretentious pain.

But you hacked him down.

I'm sorry I came.

Come on, I'm abducting you.

- Dauber, honestly!

- Dauber is honest.

Dauber will take you to dinner

then Dauber will show you

his still life.

It's you, old son!

Back sooner than I expected.

- Lucky I got stuck in.

- Fine work. Well done!

The essentials are done.

I can see that.

I found some traditional rose bushes.

- With bluish flowers.

- Good.

I'll plant them

somewhere else I know you'll like.

Tidier, isn't it?

Now they just have to grow.

It's the same inside.

I was on their case, though.

Especially the electrician.

- Deruzeau's better.

- But you said...

I said I didn't like him.

But if you can afford it,

he's the best.

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