Cop Land

[Man]

Back in the '70s, every cop

wanted out of the city.

But the only cops allowed

to live outside New York

were transit cops.

Because the Transit Authority

was also run

by Jersey and Connecticut.

So these guys I knew

at the 3-7...

they started pulling overtime

at subway stations...

and got the city to declare them

"auxiliary transit cops."

They bought some land in Jersey.

Got some cheap loans

from people they knew.

They made themselves a place

where the sh*t

couldn't touch 'em.

Every precinct

has its "cop bar,"

a private club, all blue.

For the 3-7,

it was the 4 Aces...

just across the river.

[Video Game Noises]

[Tires Screeching]

[Gunshots]

This Armenian guy, he's from

the other side over there.

He tells her that she's dead.

Right? She's gonna be dead

by morning.

- So he drops this box off

at her place, right?

- They call you guys.

- They call Bomb Squad.

- Right. We go in there.

We x-ray it on scene.

- And, uh, we cant see

anything in there.

- [Man] Right.

I cut a little hole in it.

I can see there's something

in there.

[Man]

Uh-huh.

I, uh, I see that there's, uh,

some white fuzz.

There's something pink.

I can't figure out what it is.

- Suddenly I realize

I am looking at a tongue.

- Ah, sh*t!

A big, fat tongue sticking

out at me. Yes. The guy

put a goat's head in there.

[Man]

This at the end

of the twentieth century.

H.G. Wells, he'd turn over in

his grave to think at the start

of a new millennium...

- [Man]some Iranian guy--

- [Woman]Armenian. Armenian guy.

Some Armenian would be

deliverin' a goat's head to the

door of the woman that he loved.

- Backward culture over there.

- Let me tell you.

We're all backwards, Berta.

- Our machines are all modern

and sh*t, but our minds?

- Gary.

Our minds are primitive.

Our minds are primitive,

Berta.

- Hey.

- I gotta go home, baby.

All right, wait. I'm just

waitin' on the call, okay?

Come here.

- I gotta pick up the car.

This is not--

- Monica, sit down.

Excuse me.

Do you mind?

- Do you mind?

- Sorry.

Roberta, that's Freddy.

Freddy's cool.

He's got a bad ear.

He'd good people though.

Don't worry about it.

[Video Game]

You have no authority.

[Video Game]

You have no authority.

Yeah, yeah. Fine.

[TV Indistinct]

It's quiet tonight,

huh, Freddy?

Hmm?

It's quiet.

Everyone's at that

bachelor party across the river.

Oh, yeah.

Whoop-de-doo.

You got any quarters?

Don't look at me, I just

put two more in the meter.

- It's his birthday.

- [Figgis] Oh, yeah?

- He's going for high score.

- Happy Birthday, Freddy.

Happy Birthday.

Let me see what I got.

I wasn't into making

a big deal

after the ten-year thing.

Hey, hey, how you doin'?

Sorry, Freddy. Hey.

[Figgis]

I was wondering if you'd

be able to, uh, come by.

Yeah. 4 Aces.

Where else?

Sh*t!

Damn it.

Two kinds of people

in this world.

Pinball people

and video game people.

You, Freddy,

you're pinball people.

Always got somethin'

to say, Figgsy.

Come on. Freddy,

Freddy, Freddy.

Freddy! Freddy!

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

It's bedtime, Sheriff.

- You all right to drive?

- Mm-hmm.

- You sure?

- Positive.

- Take it easy, Freddy.

- Take it easy.

[Radio] It was not Lady Luck

that Jim Maloney found

in Atlantic City.

It was the cops.

The 30-year-oldnative

of the Caribbean island

of Antigua...

was captured in a casino

just days after

an aspiring rap artist...

was fatally beaten

in a Queen's convenience store.

Sources have filled in some

of the blanks for 1 01 0 WINS

saying--

Sh*t!

[Music, Chattering]

Oh! All right.

Take it easy, take it easy.

I apologize.

Magilla Gorilla,

you f***ing ape.

- Mikey, I'm out. I'm gettin' outta here.

- Wherere you goin'?

- I love her.

- Yeah! Hell of a party!

- Roger.

- Okay, Superboy.

You're my man, Superboy.

- My man, Roger.

- Keep it up.

You guys take it easy.

Davey, can you dispose

of this legally please?

I don't like

bachelor parties.

See you back

in Jersey.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh!

Ooh-oof!

Sh*t!

[Man Groaning]

[Coughing]

Goddamn it!

[Gagging]

[Gagging]

[Coughing]

Ah, f***!

Sh*t!

[Coughing]

You have the f***in'

wrong stuff here.

Ah, Jesus!

Frankie?

Jesus Christ! What are you

guys doin'? You're giving me

a heart attack over here.

Hey, Superboy,

what'd ya say, kid?

- You all right, Jackie?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

Yeah? All right,

I'll see you guys tomorrow, man.

You're like creepers back here.

[Frank]

Thanks, kid.

Be careful driving, huh?

[Radio]Giants leading 10

to 6 as they move to the bottom

of the seventh inning...

in a game characterized

by big rallies.

The Giants scored seven times

in the first inning off--

## [Car Radio:
Rap]

- Well, f***!

- The Yankees lost to the Angels today.

Hey!

Pull over. N.Y.P.D.

Pull over!

Hey, you hear me?

Pull over!

No!

[Laughing]

[Brakes Squealing]

F***! Sh*t!

F***in' cocksucker!

[Screams]

##[Rap Continues]

Freddy?

[Sirens Wailing]

Traffic incident?

Bullshit!

Hey, what's up, man?

These guys were shot

like six times.

Hey, just shut up,

do your f***ing job!

- F***ing nurse.

- Whatve you got?

I got four vials of

crack here and a pipe.

That's it.

Russell, what youre thinking,

swallow it.

The guy saved five babies

out in Redhook, all right?

That's right, black babies.

Mashed potatoes

don't mean gravy.

- I'm on the bridge.

- [Man On Phone] Is Babitch there?

- Yeah. I see him.

- Take care of it.

[Superboy]

Uncle Ray?

Uncle Ray, I saw a gun.

I saw the gun.

He took a shot at me. Tell 'em.

They took a shot at me.

[Man]

Stay here with us.

Tunney didn't even get

the grand jury

for sh*t like this.

F*** the G.J.

You're Superboy, huh?

You saved, what?

Six black babies?

Come on, kid, the sh*t plays!

- Three babies.

- Hey, one at a time, please.

I got P.A. on another channel,

the mayor's office,

assistant D.A.

Press up the yin-yang.

The only reason

they're not here now...

is we got gridlock from

across Bronx to the Palisades.

There's no gun.

You didn't see it, Jack?

You can't find it?

- Flaky.

- Listen, I heard a shot.

I heard a shot, Ray.

- I heard a shot. I saw a gun.

- In my trunk, in the grand union bag.

- I heard a shot, Leo.

- The kid had a

steering wheel lock in his hand.

Your tire blew.

You're f***ed up

and you wasted a pair

of sh*t-bags...

who arent worth the hair

in the crack of your ass.

So you cool it

with the patty-cake morality.

Because without me, kid,

those stiffs'll put you

in a room...

- where you will f*** your uncle

and everything he's built.

- Hey, Leo.

The black van's gonna be here

in a minute

and I haven't done sh*t!

- What I'm doing is highly--

- Sympathetic.

- [Leo] Yeah, damn right.

- It is.

- Ray, we don't have to do this.

- [Ray] Calm down.

F***, Ray!

Ooh, baby!

Hey, we got it.

- Look at that, huh? We got it!

- Yo, yo, yo, yo.

- What the f***

are you doin', man?

- I found their piece.

- Found their piece?

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