Cop Out Page #2

along the southern border.

Really?

That's how they get it done, huh?

- You looked confused about it.

- I am.

That neighborhood is dead to me.

Good job.

The good news, captain? We're fine.

The good news is you're suspended.

Thirty days without pay.

What? Suspended without pay?

What the f***, Jack?

- Dead informant, neighborhood shot up...

- You kidding?

- I got you two burning a sting.

- We didn't...

I got nitwit here being filmed beating

up a kid and then stealing his bike.

Nitwit here almost got his ass shot off.

You beat up a kid?

- I needed the bike.

- You can see it on YouTube if you want.

- Really? What, the YouTube?

- Good job.

- How many hits I get?

- Well, there's at least two:

The chief of police and the deputy chief.

Your suspensions are effective

immediately. Get out.

Jack. Jack, you remember Ava, right?

- My daughter, Ava? Right?

- I know her, Jimmy.

You came to her christening?

Guess what,

she's gonna get married in six weeks.

I'm counting on this money

to pay for the wedding.

- I don't care.

- You don't care?

Do what you gotta do.

Badges and guns, give them up.

- Jack.

- Badges and guns, I said.

- If you're gonna make me beg, I'll beg.

- Give them up.

You heard what I said, Jimmy.

Jesus Christ, Jack.

Nice. Nice.

- Captain, your heart, it's a icebox.

- Get out.

- Should've ripped off that Gumby suit.

- Maybe I was getting mauled by a pit bull.

Since when is it possible for a man

to outrun a car?

- You are not the Six Million Dollar Man.

- I got hit by a Geo Metro.

It's gas on the right,

brakes on the left, Miss Daisy.

Who gets hit by a Geo Metro?

So don't blame me for this bullshit.

- F*** you.

- F*** you.

- F*** you.

- F*** you.

- F*** you.

- F*** you.

You.

- You guys are fantastic.

- Gifted, even.

To destroy a whole month

of our undercover work in mere minutes...

...takes genius-level stupid.

Every player we got eyes on disappears...

...when you start your

bang-bang shoot-shoot, huh?

Now, here's an idea.

You check an assignment board.

You make a call.

You do not scramble another cop's eggs.

- Ever.

- I hate these calls at work.

I gotta take this. Excuse me. Hello?

- Hey, Jimmy, what's up?

- Hey.

- It's me, Paul.

- What's going on?

You see who's standing in front of us?

Mangold and Hunsaker.

You ever notice that Hunsaker smells like

You gotta see their wives, man.

Hunsaker, his wife got three teeth

and two of those is in her pocket.

- Oh!

- She got one titty missing a nipple.

They made a movie about these two.

- Kevin Costner and Robert De Niro.

- What was it called?

- The Unfuckables.

- The Unfuckables. I love that movie.

I'm not gonna lie, I like the idea of Kevin

Costner and Robert De Niro playing us.

- Little bit.

- Mangold's wife is very unhappy.

She said he's all foreskin.

- Hey.

- That's actually clever.

I'd love to talk about these guys

but I gotta run.

- Cool stuff. Later.

- I'll see you at the house.

I'm sorry, unrelated business.

What were you saying?

You were right to kill that snitch.

And I'm glad you're okay.

You remember Sister Theresa

who taught fifth grade?

Yeah, she was way too fine to be a nun.

She was cool, though.

Taught me how to throw

a sick breaking slider.

Those putos are late

with my Mercedes, homes.

Once that Mercedes

is delivered to me...

...and I get that dead motherf***er's

supply chain and bank accounts...

...we gonna expand our drug trade

out of Brooklyn.

Take it across the whole East Coast.

And after that...

...we buying a farm team, Juan.

I'm sorry, Poh Boy.

Hector and Tapas stopped to get gas

after driving all night.

And when they came out...

...the Mercedes was stolen.

You told me to hire those guys.

You told me the car would be safe

in their hands.

I will deal with Tapas and Hector myself,

right away.

Bless me, Father...

...for I'm about to sin.

Can I put the cherry on top of the car?

- No.

- You just made me sad.

Sh*t.

I can't go in there

and tell them I got suspended.

You don't have to.

It's my favorite gun, Jimmy.

Take care of her.

Thanks, Paul.

- What are you doing with all these badges?

- I lose them a lot.

Uncle Paul!

Hey, baby. What's up?

You're doing it, huh? You're doing it.

- Pam! Mama Bear. Looking good.

- Hello, Paul.

- Hi, Daddy.

- God, you look good, girl.

- You look good, girl.

- Why, thank you, sir.

- I don't know who you are. Getting married.

- I'm getting married.

Oh, man, I can't believe it. I gotta go.

I'm sorry. Poof. Disappear.

But I love you like the fat kid love cake.

If it comes to it, I got it. Okay?

- See you later.

- I love you.

- I love you.

- Okay.

Well, let's go.

Tell me everything. I'm excited.

- Hey. Things going well?

- Yeah.

- You excited?

- Yes.

- Still getting married?

- Yeah.

- Remember what we talked about. Okay?

- He's gonna rain on the parade...

...like he always does.

- Amazing band.

- What's the name of the band?

- The Virgins.

They're a little edgy for the ceremony.

So we just need the deposit checks

to send out to hold everything.

- Let me see the list.

- It's pretty cheap, actually.

Yeah.

It's not much if you look

at everything we're getting.

Cheap.

Jimmy, um...

...I know 48,000 seems like a lot, but...

...as dream weddings go,

it's actually pretty modest.

And if you're okay with it...

...I'd really love to do this for Ava.

Do what, exactly, Roy?

Pay for the wedding, Jimmy.

Well, that's generous.

- Would you guys give us a second?

- Daddy.

- Jimmy.

- We just wanna talk.

- We hardly ever get to talk.

- It's okay.

- Go get a drink at the bar.

- Be nice.

Get your mom a drink.

Look at her, stressed out.

- What are you drinking?

- Scotch.

Rum? Nice.

- Rum on the rocks for your stepfather.

- It's fine.

- And I'm just gonna have some water.

- Okay, Daddy.

- You look beautiful. You really do.

- Thank you.

You both look great.

You know I'm a cop, right?

That I work for the N.Y.P. D?

They give me a gun with bullets.

I gotta go out every day,

chase bad guys, try and catch them.

All kinds of bad guys:

Rapists, drug dealers, burglars.

But you know what the worst kind

of bad guy is in my book?

It's somebody that would try to

humiliate a father...

...in front of his own daughter.

His little girl.

- That it?

- Yeah, that's it.

- It was good.

- Thanks.

Listen, Jimmy.

Ava's like a daughter to me.

She's not your daughter.

She's my daughter.

Well, that's why I said "like a daughter."

And it's my job...

...to make sure she and Pam

get anything they want.

I'm the second husband.

And $50,000 for Ava's happiness...

...that's nothing to me.

You know, that's a weekend in Vegas.

Now, if you can't afford

to pay for your daughter's wedding...

...I will.

Because a deadbeat ex-husband...

...who never had to pay any alimony...

...you're welcome, by the way...

...and can't pay

for his only daughter's wedding?

Ooh. To me? That's a bad guy.

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