Corner Gas: The Movie Page #10

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Except you.

Try to look confused.

- Well, why are we...

- Perfect!

So we just dropped everything?

The lawsuit?

The plans for the depot?

We had to. It would have been

a P.R. nightmare,

steamrolling the quaintest town in

Canada.

But they weren't named

the quaintest town in Canada.

No, but they were mentioned.

Well, I guess any press

is good press.

I don't know.

Did you see the Howler headline?

That "dirty ho"

kind of stings a bit.

You know what really stings?

The fact those Wullerton weirdos

bailed us out

by doing all that fundraising for Dog

River.

Yeah, I know. Choir recitals, lemonade

stands.

Those self-serving bastards.

The important thing is that, um...

you apologized, and I accepted.

Neither of those things happened.

Oh.

How about I buy you lunch,

we call it even?

Eh.

Hey, don't be cheap!

You better not have checked

any boxes on your new contract.

No.

I circled a few things, though.

That okay?

Guess we'll see in 25 years, rookie.

- More bursary applications? -Nope.

Cruises.

Tanner's grades weren't good enough to

get into university.

- Oh.

- Oh, well.

He got a job up north,

and he's making so much money

that he is sending me

on a vacation.

- Wow!

- Good kid.

Thick as a walnut.

So, you're not upset

you sold the bar?

I'm anything but upset.

Thank you, by the way, for your great

idea of selling shares.

You're welcome.

Hey, do I get a hug

for my great idea?

I suppose you've earned it.

What?

They did a...

lippy-kissy thing.

Brent...

you just kissed

an actual human female.

She likes you!

Ask her out, you jackass!

Yeah, I did ask her out,

like two years ago.

I said yes,

if this still isn't clear.

You guys have been a couple

for two years?

How can you not know this?!

We go to the bar together.

We go to movies together, shopping

together.

So much for everyone

knowing everyone's business.

Oh, my God.

This is incredible news!

I can finally

have grandchildren!

Oh. No, we've discussed it.

We're not gonna have kids.

I'm not sharing my comic books

with some grubby

little jam-hands.

Son of a...

I don't know the same things

you don't know

I don't know

I just don't know

And I forget

the same things you forget

But you predict what surely hasn't

happened yet

Ooh, ooh, ooh

It's a great big place

Full of nothing but space

And it's my happy place

I was pretty focused on trying to save

the Ruby and Dog River.

Oh, somebody's got to put something in

the tip jar.

Whose bag is that?

I don't know what that is.

- Whose bag could that be?

- God.

How embarrassing.

Welcome to the '90s.

Everybody say hi to my mom.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hi, Mom!

I'm shooting, and I should've had my

phone off, Mama.

- They're filming it.

- She just cost me 28 grand!

I love you.

Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,

take one.

Oh, that was very good.

I like that one.

Chicken for beef, take five.

Chicken for chicken, take two.

The last...

That looks great.

Okay, here we go.

You can tell me

that your dog ran away

Then you tell me

that it took three days

I've heard every joke

I've heard every word

you're saying

You think

there's not a lot goin' on

Look closer, baby,

you're so wrong

And that's why

you can stay so long

Where there's not a lot

goin' on

Yeah!

Haaaa!

Bluah! Bluah!

Eeuah!

112, take 6.

- Wow.

- We're terrible.

- Holy crap!

- Whoa!

- Hang... Hang on!

- Whoa!

Whoa. Ah.

That's just acting, kids.

Karen! Hi!

You know,

that just threw me off.

I'm gonna...

Sorry. I'll be right back.

You can tell me

that your dog ran away

Then you tell me

that it took three days

I've heard every joke

I've heard every word

you're saying

You think

there's not a lot goin' on

But look closer, baby,

you're so wrong

And that's why

you can stay so long

Where there's not a lot

goin' on

Action!

Oh, for the love of Pete!

WHOOPS!

Oh, it was you.

Well, good.

It's about time somebody

called one of these things.

No? Just kidding. Okay.

We'll start over. Sorry.

You're doing great, buddy.

You are making my career.

This horse is making my career.

Gentlemen, start your wagers!

Oh! It's... Oh!

Pbht!

Gentlemen, start your wages!

No! God!

I'll be back.

Action!

You can tell me

that your dog ran away

Then you tell me

that it took three days

I've heard every joke

I've heard every word

you're saying

You think

there's not a lot goin' on

But look closer, baby,

you're so wrong

I roll my eyes back

into my happy place

I'm always gonna need

this sense of space

And in the amber wave

under a rolling cloud

I can't hear what you say

'cause you're talking so loud

How many times

you gonna get me wrong?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You think

there's not a lot goin' on

Well, look closer, baby,

you're so wrong

And that's why

you can stay so long

Where there's not a lot

goin' on

I'll tell you

what happened to Phil.

Er.

I'll tell you

what happened to Phil.

I'll tell you

what happened to Phil.

I'll tell you

what happened to Phil.

Need a lighter.

I'll tell you

what happened to Phil.

I'll tell you

what happened to Phil.

Really, I will.

I'll tell you

what happened to Phil.

You better believe it

Under a sky that's always wrapped around

you

You could get lightning on you

Strikes twice

You better believe it

Under a sky that's always wrapped around

you

Good luck

You know you're gonna need it

With the rain,

you could get lightning on you

Strikes twice

You better believe it

Under a sky that's always wrapped around

you

Good luck

You think

there's not a lot goin' on

You think

there's not a lot goin' on

You think

there's not a lot goin' on

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