Corner Gas: The Movie Page #2

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Must be tough on your husband.

Window open, window closed.

Pukey, not pukey.

He's stationed on the coast

of the Mediterranean.

I'm pregnant in Dog River,

so it's tough on one of us.

My seventh grandchild.

Good for you.

Isn't he adorable?

They grow up so fast.

Some more than others.

Don't worry. You'll be

a grandparent one day, too.

Brent will find someone

sooner or later.

I mean, if his father could...

Ah.

Whoo.

Hey, where's Fitzy?

He calls a town meeting

and then he doesn't show?

Yep, we may as well

wrap this up.

Good work, everybody.

Fitzy didn't call the meeting.

I did.

You did?

Oh. Well... good.

It's about time somebody

called one of these things.

I called this meeting today

because I think

I speak for everyone

when I say there are

some major concerns

with how this town

is just falling apart.

That's for sure.

Absolutely.

The power, the water.

Garbage is just piling up.

You know, and Dog River

could be really quaint.

I mean, maybe even one

of the quaintest towns in Canada

if we really pulled it together.

What do you think?

Oh.

Anyway, I have this idea.

Lacey's right.

Where's Fitzy?

Yeah!

Where's Fitzy?!

There he is.

Hey! Fitzy!

Let me get this straight.

You invested the town's money

in real estate...

in Detroit?

It was really cheap.

I didn't think

it could get any cheaper.

It can, by the way.

How much did we lose?

Somewhere in the neighborhood of... all

of it.

- What?

- Everything?!

That explains the water

and the power, then.

I've been using the contingency fund to

keep the power on.

But that's all gone.

And the water pump

is on its last legs.

So how much debt

are we talking about?

Ballpark?

A hell of a lot.

It shouldn't be that much

for a stupid ballpark!

Oh, sit down

and play with your stick.

This is insane. We didn't even have the

money to begin with.

Whoa, whoa! Wait, wait.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

So what happens now?

Well, we really only have

two choices here.

One, we unincorporate the town,

and Dog River

basically disappears.

Or...

three dusty boots in a row,

and we're back in business.

I got a couple of dusty boots for ya!

Aah.

And you wonder

why I don't like town meetings.

This isn't good.

That's what you get for ordering clam

chowder in the prairies.

Not the soup.

The situation.

If we have to leave, it'll be far away

from our only son

and his future wife

and our beautiful grandchildren.

What grandchildren?

We're not going anywhere.

We're staying here

and living off the land,

like our ancestors.

Your grandfather died

in a go-kart accident.

Oh, Brent, talk some sense

into your father.

I don't think

there's enough words.

We might have to move

and sell the house

while there's still value in it.

He wants to stay, do nothing.

Not do nothing.

Fish with a spear.

Well, for what it's worth...

- Aargh!

- What's the matter?

It's just a shock to the system whenever

I agree with Dad.

Okay, listen, everyone!

I just got off the phone

with Brian Rainville.

He's a plumber in the city.

He gave me a quote

to fix the water pump.

Now, it isn't cheap, but if

we all pitched in, then...

A few hundred dollars each

to have clean running water

is too much to ask?

Listen, people, this town

is gonna be nonexistent

if we don't do something.

No, I think

we'll probably be okay.

The key is not to panic

and overreact.

Ah, screw hiring someone.

We have to learn

to fend for ourselves.

I'm pretty handy with a wrench.

Unless he tries to use it

as a wrench.

Are you questioning

my abilities?

No, Dad, when it comes

to your abilities,

none of us has any question.

Sure, laugh it up.

You won't be so smart when the Four

Norsemen of the Apocalypse

come riding down Main Street.

Oh, come on!

We all have to pull together, people!

Anybody like to volunteer

to mow public spaces?

Unbelievable, these people.

Davis, I don't know

if anyone explained to you

what "retired" means, but you get to not

be here anymore.

I just came by to pick up

a few of my things.

Besides, I'm not really retired with no

pension.

Now I've got to find

another job.

Like what?

I don't know.

I thought maybe we could, uh, put our

feet up and kick back,

and you can help me

think this through.

Sorry. I've got a family

to support now.

If Dog River shuts down,

I'm gonna have to get a cop job

somewhere else.

And no one is gonna hire me

if my ticket quotas are so low.

So no more games, naps,

or matinee movie days.

There it is.

But I brought ice cream.

I can't stand around here

eating ice cream.

Ugh.

What are they feeding you?

Man, people are losing their marbles

after that town meeting.

Well, people fear

what they don't understand.

You must be

perpetually terrified.

We entrepreneurs

always say that,

"When a door opens,

it's time to close a window...

of opportunity. "

I got a ton of ideas

on how to capitalize on this,

and with my brains

and your money, we can't miss.

Yeah, but you don't have

my money.

Or much of the other stuff.

Wheels are turning.

Like, we could

set up a pipeline,

you know, like for oil, but for water,

from a place with water,

and so then

we would have the water,

and we'd be the ones

charging for that water.

And that's just one idea.

That's not an idea.

That's just you saying

the word "water" 12 times.

Now I got to pee.

So, you're telling me you're not gonna

invest in my ideas?

You come up with an actual idea, I'm all

over it.

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't you fix the leak

in your truck?

Then you won't have to

keep buying this oil.

Oh, uh... I'll get you.

Hey, I hope you don't mind

me taking these boxes.

I'm taking them anyways.

Just hope you don't mind.

- What do you need all these for?

- To pack for my move.

Move?

Don't tell me you're buying into this

"Dog River is dying" crap.

Oh, I didn't

make this decision lightly.

But I got to think about my kid

and scrounging up the deposit for his

tuition.

My cousin says I can

stay with her for a while,

so that'll help.

She'll even get me a job

at her dry-cleaning shop.

Well, look, I'll...

I'll give you a raise.

25... no, 30 cents an hour, every hour.

Ooh, that's a generous offer.

Actually, it's pathetic,

but it's heartfelt.

Well...

Well, you can't have these.

They have red licorice

in the city.

Maybe, maybe not.

Soup, sandwich, and a coffee?

Every day?

Oh, come on, Mike, you're hauling

garbage, not plutonium.

Lookit, we all have to do our...

Oh, is that the way

it's gonna be?

Fine!

You suck, Mike!

What about you?

You want to haul garbage?

Oh, no.

Been there, done that.

I'm focusing my energies

on moneymaking ideas,

you know, big ideas,

like a... petting zoo.

Huh?

Or a dude ranch.

Or maybe a zoo

where you pet dudes.

You know, I... I think that that's more

of a big-city idea.

Oh, come on.

No.

Eh, I'd like to help you out,

but I can't housesit for you, especially

with the power out.

The power is out, isn't it?

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