Corpse Bride Page #4

The Bride's eye pops out, and a MAGGOT peers out of the socket. The Maggot looks and sounds like Peter Lorre.

MAGGOT:

I don't like him. He's creepy.

The Corpse Bride pops her eye back in. Maggot rides on her ear.

CORPSE BRIDE:

Oh Victor! I can't wait for you to meet everyone.

VICTOR:

How ... How do you know my name?

CORPSE BRIDE:

You think I'd marry a stranger? Come on!

The Corpse Bride leads Victor away, running.

CUT TO:

INT. TOWN SQUARE (LAND OF THE DEAD) - CONTINUOUS ACTION

The Corpse Bride pulls Victor into the square -- a lurid echo of the town square up above. Victor spies some shadowy PASSERS-BY.

VICTOR:

Help! you have to help me, I've been kidnapped by...

The Passers-by turn round. Victor sees that they, too, are corpses and skeletons. He stops in his tracks.

VICTOR:

...the dead!

From every direction, CORPSES IN EVERY IMAGINABLE STATE OF DECAY come running, or hobbling, or oozing.

Victor recoils in horror. The crowd moves in closer.

SCISSORHEAD:

Now he's a fresh one.

DEAD LADY WITH FLOWERS

Very fresh.

A precocious SKELETON BOY curiously pokes Victor with a stick.

SKELETON BOY:

He's still soft!

The VARIOUS HORRORS gather round Victor, fascinated.

CORPSE BRIDE:

He's my husband. He gave me this ring!

The Corpse Bride, beaming, extends her arm to show her ring to the gathered crowd.

CROWD:

("how touching")

Aaaaahhhhhh.

VICTOR:

("blind terror")

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

A BEHEMOTH shakes Victor's hand vigorously.

BEHEMOTH:

Pleased to meet you. Oh! His arm stayed on!

BEEHIVE WOMAN prods and pokes at Victor.

BEEHIVE WOMAN:

He's still breathing!

Everyone listens very closely to Victor's panting chest.

MOSS MAN:

He is! My word, living flesh! Is his heart beating too?

BEHEMOTH:

I'll take it out and have a look!

Behemoth crams his hand into Victor's mouth.

CORPSE BRIDE:

Please, leave him alone. He's only just arrived.

Behemoth pulls his hand out.

As she turns back to Victor, her left eyeball pops out, revealing Maggot again, who addresses the townsfolk.

MAGGOT:

We saw the whole wedding. It was romantic!

Black Widow emerges behind the Maggot.

BLACK WIDOW:

He reminds me of my 3rd, 7th, 24th and 63rd husbands.

MAGGOT:

Before you ate them?

MAGGOT:

There was one thing missing, though. He forgot to kiss the bride.

Gradually, the entire crowd begins to CHANT:

CROWD:

Kiss her! Kiss her!

Corpse Bride giggles, slightly embarrassed.

Victor can take no more. His spindly legs buckle as he FAINTS.

FADE TO BLACK.

FADE UP:

INT. PUB (THE LAND OF THE DEAD) - LATER

Victor's eyes slowly open.

FROM HIS POV:

a huge, blurry SKULL floats in front of him, filling his field of vision. As it slowly comes INTO FOCUS, he sees it's not a huge skull after all. It's the forms of a crowd leaning over him, silhouetted against the light. Corpse Bride leans over him.

CORPSE BRIDE:

Are you alright?

Several skeletons help Victor into a chair as he looks around in wide-eyed horror. He sees that he's in...

A PUB of some kind. Green flames flicker in the fireplace, casting shadows along the crazily tilting walls. Rib-like beams rise toward the ceiling.

Dark figures move through the crowded room and gypsy-like music fills the smoky air. Coffin-shaped shelves behind the bar are filled with odd and ancient-looking bottles.

PAUL, THE HEAD WAITER, pokes his head INTO FRAME.

PAUL THE HEAD WAITER

(to Victor)

Have a drink, dear boy. It'll calm your nerves.

A glass slides toward Victor. The CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal Paul the Head Waiter is in fact, only a head. A swarm of BEETLES have emerged from the stump of his neck and scurry across the bar, pushing the glass towards Victor.

PAUL THE HEAD WAITER

(to Corpse Bride)

Ma cherie, where have you been hiding yourself? It's been ages.

The beetles quickly return, carrying Paul off to serve his next customer.

As the Corpse Bride chats merrily away, Victor scans the room. A group of SKELETONS and CORPSES play billiards in a far corner. Nearby, a DEAD GENTLEMAN sits puffing his pipe, as double smoke rings blow from his eye holes.

WELLINGTON, a tall, ragged skeleton, dressed in the remains of a military uniform, has a CANNONBALL HOLE in his chest. He plays chess with a DEAD DWARF, also clad in the tattered remains of a uniform, with a large sword thrust through his breastbone. A HANGED MAN, noose still around his neck, plays darts with a few other CORPSES.

Another ROTTING CORPSE sits near the dartboard, reading the newspaper, oblivious to the occasional dart landing in his head.

At one end of the room is a small stage, where a band of SKELETONS are playing on bizarre instruments made from salvaged scraps and bits of bone.

MRS. PLUM, the cook, is a rotting, blue-skinned old lady surrounded by a cloud of flies. She pushes a cart * between the tables, serving soup from a large tureen. As * she ladles it out, her jawbone drops into the bowl.

It's all a bit much for Victor. He takes a gulp of his drink.

Victor sees his chance. He grabs the sword in the Dead Dwarf's back, and waves it around, clearing a space in the shocked crowd. The sword still has the Dead Dwarf general attached. The BAND stops playing.

Victor's trying to act tough, but his terror is evident to everyone. His hand shakes.

VICTOR:

Keep away! I've got a... Dwarf. And I'm not afraid to use him! I want some answers! Now!

WELLINGTON:

Answers. I think you mean answers.

VICTOR:

Thank you, yes, answers! I need answers. Why am I here? Who is she? What is she?

The houselights dim, leaving a single spotlight hitting the stage, where BONEJANGLES, front-man for THE SKELETONS, steps forward.

BONEJANGLES:

Since you're askin'...

(snaps his fingers)

Hit it, boys!

The Skeletons launch into a lively number, a "Minnie the Moocher"-type ballad where the crowd sings along, pounding their glasses on the bar to keep time.

BONEJANGLES:

GIVE A LISTEN -­

YOU CORPSES WHO STILL HAVE AN EAR,

TO THE SONG OF THE DAMSEL WE ALL HOLD SO DEAR.

A MAIDEN WHOSE BEAUTY WAS KNOWN FAR AND WIDE,

WHO'D SOON BECOME KNOWN AS OUR LOVELY CORPSE BRIDE.

ALL:

(lustily)

DIE, DIE, WE ALL PASS AWAY,

OUR BEAUTIFUL BRIDE'S THE REMAINS OF THE DAY.

BONEJANGLES:

SHE SAT IN HER COACH

WITH HER FINE DIAMOND BROOCH

AND RODE THROUGH THE WOODS WHERE

THE ROBBERS WOULD HIDE.

TO GET AT THE BANGLE

THE POOR GAL WAS STRANGLED!

SAD WAS THE DAY SHE BECAME THE CORPSE BRIDE.

ALL:

(robustly)

BREATH, BREATH, THEY CHOKED OUT HER BREATH

THE BRIDE'S WEDDING DAY WAS THE DAY OF HER DEATH!

Wellington takes a verse.

WELLINGTON:

SHE FELL IN THAT SPOT AND

IN NO TIME SHE WENT ROTTEN.

THE LOAM WAS HER HOME AND SHE CRIED -­

HOW SHE CRIED!

FOR WHAT MAN WOULD HAVE HER

THIS LONELY CADAVER?

NEVER A BRIDESMAID BUT ALWAYS A BRIDE!

ALL:

DIE, DIE, WE ALL HAVE TO DIE,

A TOAST TO THE GIRL WHO'S GOT MUD IN HER EYE!

DEAD DWARF:

SHE SWORE ON HER GRAVE

THAT SHE'D SOMEDAY FIND LOVE.

WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED

IT WOULD COME FROM ABOVE?

AFTER MANY LONG YEARS

WITH WORMS IN THE SOIL,

TODAY'S WHEN THE VICTOR IS GETTING THE SPOILS!

ALL:

(lustily)

VIC, VIC, LET'S HEAR IT FOR VIC!

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