Couples Retreat Page #9

What if Joey had seen?

Lucy, it was really inappropriate.

Well, I didn't know that you were

so concerned about how Joey felt.

What's that supposed to mean?

Let's drop it.

All I'm saying is that it

was pretty uncomfortable.

Well, then why were you staring?

It was hard to miss.

Trust me, Salvadore is

the least of our problems.

It's freezing in here. Why

would they make a room like this?

You should have seen my

masseuse. She was so hot.

You're supposed to be relaxing out here.

Why do you think I wanted

to get a full release?

You know what? I don't even

want to get into this with you.

Into what?

I don't want to get into

this conversation with you.

Why is that?

Because I don't want to be put in

a position where l,d have to lie.

Why are you getting all

high and mighty on me?

No, I'm not so high and mighty.

Joey, I'm not judging you,

I'm just not asking anything because

I don't want... I don't want to know.

Because that way, if someone asks me...

You won't have to rat me out.

I would never rat you out. Of

course I wouldn't't rat you out.

Right, right. But this

way, I don't have to

make that decision because

I really don't know.

All right, let me ask

you something, then.

Could you honestly say that

after seven years together,

that you get turned

on by the same woman?

I do.

Without going to the highlight reel.

You're playing a verbal shell game.

l... You have to make

your own decisions.

I'm just saying I don't want to know.

I'm saying, if you're...

When you're sleeping with her,

if you're hitting up some fan favorites,

I think you're cheating on some level.

You might not be acting on

it, but you're fantasizing.

You know what? I don't

know what journey you're on,

but l... I can't take

this trip with you.

But if I told you, as a friend...

I came up to you, I said, "Hey,

Dave, I'm attracted to men."

I was thinking about their bodies

and things, but I didn't act on it

because I'm straight and

I was being very strong,

would you consider me straight or gay?

If I desired a man.

If I was thinking about a man's body,

like how the light reflects

off of his sweaty back...

Am I interrupting something? No.

We're great. Have a

seat. Want to sit down?

Enjoy this. Enjoy it.

No, I'm good here. Thank you.

If I was sleeping with my wife

and thinking about, like,

a dude's wet mouth...

Snow and steam, huh? Is

this place outstanding?

Okay, Jason, let me

ask you a question here.

Is the highlight reel

considered cheating?

The highlight reel? No.

I'm just saying everybody

cheats and everybody lies,

and whether they act upon it or

not is a secondary conversation.

So you're saying that you can't tell

the difference between

the highlight reel...

I can tell the difference.

...and physically, really

cheating on somebody?

Don't say it to me like I

can't tell the difference.

Well, that's what you're saying!

You're saying that they,re related,

then they're somehow in the same family.

No, no. I'm saying you own a Jack

Russell, I own a Bull Terrier.

They're both dogs.

They're both terriers.

Mine's just a little more

aggressive than yours.

I own a zebra, you own a goat.

What the hell's that have to

do with cheating on your wife?

Right, they're both animals.

Are you out of your mind? How

would you feel if your wife cheated?

Guys? Listen to me. Trudy's gone.

What? What do you mean?

What? I went to the room

and all her stuff was gone.

Where do... Where do you

think she went? Like she...

I don't know. We had

a argument at therapy.

She said she was sick of

my senior citizen bullshit.

I've been trying to keep up

with her, but I'm a old ass!

Shane, honey, it's not your fault.

No, it's bullshit. It is my

fault. I should have worked harder.

Now she's gone!

She's not gone. I know where she is.

Sit down.

How do you know where she is?

Now use your head.

She's a young girl. She wants

to party. She wants to get wild.

Too late to leave the

island. Where is she?

Where's the only place she could go?

Eden East, the singles' side.

We gotta go get her.

You're damn right we do!

And I'm going with you!

I am not letting you go alone!

I don't care if I have

to go there all night!

To find Trudy. We're gonna

go find Trudy for him!

We can't even go to

that side, all right?

And it's gonna get very dark, very

soon. Plus we have to be in bed...

What are you talking about?

Listen to me.

We have to be to bed at a

very reasonable hour tonight

because we cannot miss

the sunrise in the morning.

Now, Marcel said if

we miss that sunrise,

we will not be completing our course.

We are here for the course, all right?

- Yes.

And stop eating and drinking, as well.

Honey, our friend is

asking for our help.

She's 20 years old, for God's sake.

She's probably with a bunch

of dudes, like, sweating,

drinking and dancing it out of

her system. What's the problem?

Let her spend the night on Hump Island!

I promise, she's gonna come back

here first thing in the morning!

Dave, firstly...

I don't want her to spend

a night on Hump Island.

No, I... I'm just trying to say

it's not like she's

kidnapped or something.

Now she's dead, Dave? Huh?

Now she's dead? She's

dead, now? She's not dead.

She's dead on Hump Island!

I'm just trying to put

it in perspective for you!

You know what? I don't even

know why I'm blowing up at you,

because it... It's...

Once again, it's my fault.

This is a Shane thing. I've been

dealing with this all my life.

First Jennifer, and now Trudy.

We're gonna find her,

okay? I got a plan.

I know how to get there.

You do?

Yeah, I do.

I just can't tell you now "cause

we got Mr. Belvedere clocking us.

Now everybody take it real casual.

Just drink your drinks and smile.

So we just make it all nice.

Everything's easy, fun,

we're drinking, we're smiling.

Okay? We can't leave till sundown.

Guys, we all need to be together

first thing in the morning, okay?

Which is exactly why

we have to find Trudy.

Otherwise, we won't all be there.

Let's get out of here now. Reconvene

later at the beach, at 1900 hours.

You with me?

Joey, we are not gonna be able to

finish the program if we get caught!

All right, bring it in.

Hey, come on, Shane!

We walk to the other

side, we get caught.

This way, we canoe out nice and easy,

we find ourselves a nice, quiet beach.

We pull up. We find the singles' side,

we find a dance floor,

we find some cocktails.

And we find Trudy and

we bring her back...

Yeah, we find Trudy and we

bring her right back here.

This is crazy.

Trust me. I was an Eagle Scout.

My mind is a compass. I

can handle these situations.

I've been trained to do so.

Now follow me and I'm

gonna get you there,

but we gotta do it quick

and we gotta do it quiet.

Come on.

These are not the best laid plans, okay?

I'm just gonna go on

record right now, okay?

I do not think this has a high chance...

If we keep up this pace,

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