Cousin Bette

WOMAN:
Dr. Bianchon?

MAN:
Baroness.

When will my suffering end?

Soon.

- Bless you, Doctor.

- Dear Madame.

- Lovely... and noble creature.

- Go now.

Yes.

- Doctor?

- It hardly seems the time.

However, one must, for the sake

of one's conscience...

Your bill, Madame.

I have squandered everything.

All of it.

- On Josephat.

- You were young.

And Valerie de Marneffe.

Took advantage

of your kind heart.

- Mademoiselle Tarquay.

- I'm your wife, not your judge.

I promise you now that I will

never, ever be unfaithful again.

I shall give up Jenny Cadine.

Jenny... Cadine?

Cousin?

Here... at your side.

As always, Cousin.

Do you remember our garden?

- At Saint-Aubin?

- The lilacs.

- Black as plums.

- I would like some at my grave.

You have always loved

beautiful things.

And you craved plain muslin,

dearest Bette.

Rooting around in the garden,

pulling up turnips.

Never without good Saint-Aubin

soil beneath your nails.

Countess Cabbage, we called you.

You never minded.

A family like ours could only

push forward one girl.

Your beauty benefited all of us.

- You tried to drown me.

- An accident.

How they beat you.

I don't remember.

[Coughing]

I'll be gone before nightfall.

My daughter will need you

more than ever.

Oh... if only

I had seen her married.

Promise me you'll

take care of them, Bette.

I promise

I'll take care of them.

I'll take care of them all.

Let heavenly wings

enfold this angel...

and take her to her reward.

[Whistle]

[Children laughing]

[Thunder]

BETTE:
Poor child.

BARON:
Oh, Adeline.

BETTE:
Terrible.

BARON:
Your devotion to her...

SERVANT:
Monsieur de Baron.

BETTE:
Faithful Hector...

all alone.

[Weeping loudly]

- Perhaps I should go.

- No. Please.

I need you here beside me.

I hope I might speak candidly

to you on the subject of...

- Always.

- About a matter...

- Yes?

- A matter somewhat...

Delicate?

- A somewhat delicate matter.

- Don't hesitate.

I was hoping...

Yes?

Well, you must agree...

[Sobbing]

- Mariette.

- Mademoiselle.

- A girl alone...

- Tragic.

Needing a mother. Who better?

Who a more logical choice?

Well, you know I love Hortense

as if she were my own daughter.

You don't think it

unseemly haste?

Don't you think we should wait?

- We should wait.

- On the other hand...

It is what our dear Adeline

would have wanted.

I'll tell the children.

Hortense!

Come and join us, please.

And bring your brother

and your sister-in-law.

HORTENSE:
We're coming, Father.

BROTHER:
Oh, God, what now?

[Man speaking indistinctly]

BROTHER:
I don't know

what's the matter.

HORTENSE:
Is Cousin Bette here?

SISTER:
Quietly!

Children, I have

something to tell you.

Not that I could ever take

her place in your hearts, but...

Bette has agreed to be

our housekeeper.

Housekeeper?

Father, we can't afford

any additional staff.

BARON:
You can keep that sewing

job of yours at the theater.

Extra income never hurt anyone.

- But I...

- No, no. Don't thank me.

Don't thank me. My little girl

will be looked after.

It is we who should be

thanking you.

Cousin Bette...

[Gunfire]

I cannot comprehend

why you'd decline my offer.

You'd be living with us,

instead of in this... hellhole.

Whoa! Whoa.

Whoever heard of a woman living

alone if she doesn't have to?

Good night, Cousin.

[Loud street conversation]

Mm-hmm.

WOMAN SINGING:

On the other side of heaven

I'll be waiting for you

Where the clouds are so soft

And the sky's baby blue

Stop, stop, stop, please,

Mademoiselle Cadine.

My kitten, you're singing

about lust and corruption,

sex and seduction.

Put a little crocodile in it.

[Growls]

Like so. Ahem.

[Music begins]

How can I sing? I'm smothered

in pigeon feathers.

I think we'll take supper now.

JENNY:
You expect me to wear

this stinking thing?

I won't. It's sh*t.

JENNY:
What idiot dreamed up

this abomination?

BETTE:
I did, Mademoiselle.

Who is it?

Mademoiselle Fisher.

- I want her fired, or I quit.

- But, Jenny, she...

How do you think the costume

might be improved?

You've hidden all my charms.

Where's my bosom?

Where's my ass?

- And what do you suggest?

- Are you the costumier or not?

[Laughter]

- That ought to do it.

- What have you...

- Perfect.

- [Laughter]

Brilliant.

Bravo!

JENNY:
See that she gets

a raise in pay.

We'll celebrate...

with a glass of champagne.

You're a brave soul.

Could've lost your job.

- I can sew it back up.

- No, it's bewitching.

Life is so boring.

Don't you think?

Perhaps not for you.

You're clever enough

to entertain yourself.

That's because you're not

a true Parisienne.

Nor are you.

You're a daughter of Lorraine,

a country peasant like me.

[Laughing]

[Knocking on door]

MAN:
Treasure...

your admirers are here.

My kitten!

[Growls]

[Man singing in Italian]

[Thunder]

[Door closes]

[Footsteps approaching]

[Thunder]

HORTENSE:
How's your sweetheart,

Cousin Bette?

- He's not very well, poor thing.

- Delicate, is he?

Yes. And pale.

The color of moonlight.

- But who is he? Is he a prince?

- A prince to me.

What imaginations

old maids have!

Why, only last night

he had supper in my apartment.

- What did you dine on?

- Cheese... and a sip of wine.

- That's so little.

- He's an artist.

- I'd like to see him.

- Turn around. Stand up straight.

I bet he's just an awful

old bank clerk with a goatee.

That's where you're wrong,

Mademoiselle.

So you really have a sweetheart?

Just as surely as you do not.

BARON:
At this rate,

Hortense will never be married.

She's young.

She wants to be happy in love.

Money isn't so important

to a young girl.

She believes

she can live on air.

Talk to her, Cousin.

Tell her to be practical.

You've lived all these years

without love.

Hasn't made you unhappy.

I'll see what I can do.

MAN:
I live mostly on my estate

in the Languedoc.

I find the presence of sheep

and cows very soothing.

Don't you, Mademoiselle?

My neighbor, the Count D'Artois,

argues that the goat's "'na-a-h"'

has more character,

but I find it disturbing.

SECOND MAN:
As I always say

to my dear friend,

your father the Baron,

"'Hector, a title is good,

but money is better."'

[Sniffing]

[Snorting]

Yes... my dear Hortense,

above all... reigns...

the holy... venerated...

substantial... beautiful...

noble...

...and all-powerful franc.

Do you, uh... know why I've come?

Marry me, my little butterfly.

Get up at once, Monsieur,

or I shall ring the bell!

- It's exquisite.

- Monsieur, get up!

- You won't marry me?

- Never!

I'll give you 200,000 francs for

a glimpse of your naked body.

- Never!

- But why?

You're... too... horrible!

I? The wealthiest man in Paris?

Prodigy parfumier

to the great Buritaud?

Chevalier

of the Legion of Honor?

Lord Mayor of Paris?

- And I'm horrible?

- She's spoiled.

She has no idea

what her situation is.

Monsieur Crevel,

it's possible I have

a more attractive proposition.

Oh?

You know the baron is

the protector...

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