Cousin Bette Page #2

of the famous singer

Jenny Cadine?

An arrangement that makes him

the envy of all Paris.

- He's given her up.

- What?

For the moment.

If you like, I could arrange...

I would give 50,000

to snaffle that imperious,

half-baked aristocrat's mistress

away from him.

Oh, what a joke... if I got in

while he was snoozing.

You know, if I had to choose

between you and the baron...

I mean, Monsieur Hulot is

a clever, handsome man,

but... you, you're...

Solid.

Meet me at

the Thatre des Varits,

Saturday evening at 10:00.

By all means.

At your service.

Adieu.

HORTENSE:

The idea of substituting...

a marriage contract for

true love makes my heart shiver.

Is that why you never married?

I dreamed of marrying once,

when I was very young.

Younger than you are now.

- Young and deeply in love.

- What happened?

- He married someone else.

- No!

- Did you ever see him again?

- [Baron humming]

Never.

[Man coughing]

[Knocking]

[Rattling handle]

[Gasps]

[Coughing]

Oh... foolish boy,

what have you done?

Well, we won't speak

about it now.

BETTE:
No.

Poor thing, sleep.

Don't be alarmed.

It's Mademoiselle Fisher.

I live downstairs.

Oh. Oh, with a head like that,

there's nothing like a good

onion soup and buttered bread.

MAN:
I'm sorry. I...

BETTE:
Let's not refer to

your foolishness of last night.

I know you're in

desperate circumstances.

Your rat traps have kept me

alive for weeks. Did you know?

I know what it's like

to be hungry without friends.

I have some savings.

I could help you if you like.

You are too generous.

You'll give me receipts

for the money I spend for you.

And when you are rich,

you can repay it all.

You shall be

the whole world to me.

I shall be your slave.

Will you do

everything I tell you?

Yes, of course.

Then I shall embrace you

as my own.

Here I have a boy...

risen from the grave.

CHORUS SINGING:
Ding dong

Ding dong dong

BETTE, SINGING:
Ding dong

Ding dong dong

- You're singing.

- What?

I've never heard you sound

so cheerful.

[Audience applauding]

On the other side of heaven

I'll be waiting for you

Where the clouds are so soft

And the sky's baby blue

On the other side of heaven

All the angels will sing

As you fly to me, fly to me,

Fly...

On a gossamer wing

[Audience applauding

and cheering]

Why are you here?

BETTE:
He has bold lips

and a sad smile.

HORTENSE:
I knew it.

And he's terribly poor.

BETTE:
Nearly starved.

HORTENSE:
How romantic.

- How old is he?

- Twenty... five.

BETTE:
Would you stop

interrogating me?

HORTENSE:
Fifteen years

younger than you.

Now I know he can't exist.

BETTE:
You little girls think

only yourselves can have lovers.

HORTENSE:
Then prove to me

he isn't a fairy tale.

He's a sculptor.

He made this for me.

I've never seen anything

so beautiful.

And there's another. The Four

Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

An antique dealer in my

neighborhood has it in his shop.

What's your sweetheart's name?

- Can you keep a secret?

- Of course.

Do you swear... on your happiness

in this world?

I swear.

- Wenceslas.

- Wenceslas.

Let me keep it, please.

Just for a little while.

It's so pretty.

It will cheer me up.

Just for a little while, then.

[Knocking on ceiling]

Here, Wenceslas.

Look what I've brought you.

Bette, you're amazing.

Well, eat one

and stop staring at me.

Have you been working?

You don't seem to progress

very far.

I'm not sure you deserve these.

Well, you know, dear lady,

there is a saying.

Life is more than work alone.

Make a fortune first,

and then you may have your fun.

And what if I die

before I get rich?

Oh, I won't let you die.

I have life enough for two.

By the way, Hortense thought

your bronze bird very nice.

What did your pretty cousin say?

- Who told you she was pretty?

- You did.

Goodness.

Your sleeve needs mending.

I've been neglecting you.

I imagine she must be the most

beautiful young woman in Paris.

To get out of your predicament,

you must spend...

more time on your work and

less time imagining my cousin.

Mademoiselle!

This wax should keep you busy.

And I've made you a schedule,

much like my own.

You work without distraction

from sunrise until noon.

And after a light lunch,

you resume work...

until dinner at 6:00,

except on Wednesdays,

when I dine with my cousins.

I've written it down for you.

If you follow this plan

and are productive...

Your life will change

for the better.

Sugar?

Baron!

Look as if

we're just taking a stroll.

Strolling? In this neighborhood?

WOMAN:
She's too little

for you, Monsieur.

BARON:
Really!

[Woman purrs]

BARON:
Cousin Bette

lives near here.

HORTENSE:
I know,

and she mustn't see us.

What are you up to?

Watch for Cousin Bette.

If you see her, tell her you're

in the neighborhood on business.

But, my dear...

Baffling women.

[Children laughing]

From an estate

at Chelon-Sermane.

She's bronze and quite delicate.

I don't care for wood nymphs.

What about horses?

Horses, Mademoiselle?

HORTENSE:
What's that there...

in the window?

HORTENSE:
Aren't those horses?

CLERK:
Yes, those are horses.

WENCESLAS:

Mademoiselle has a fine eye.

I... I... you startled me.

WENCESLAS:

Count Wenceslas Steinbach.

Uh... uh...

[Man urinating]

I do beg your pardon.

Aah! What are you doing?

- How... how much is it?

- 1,500 francs.

If it were 1,200,

I'd ask you to send it to me.

It's an antiquity, Mademoiselle.

I happen to know

it was made this year,

and I've come to ask you,

if we can agree on the price,

to send us the artist.

We might be able to arrange

important commissions for him.

[Stumbles]

Come an hour from now

to this address, Monsieur.

Do not show this card or mention

my name to Mademoiselle Fisher.

- She is my cousin.

- Bette is your cousin?

I'm Hortense Hulot.

[Tosses coins]

BARON:
Oh! Thank God for that!

What were you doing in there?

I spent my savings.

1,200 francs.

What could you possibly find in

there to spend so much money on?

A husband.

Victory!

My bronze has been sold!

Aah! Wenceslas, put me down!

Who? Who bought it?

You're taking the day off

tomorrow. We're going shopping.

I'll buy you a new dress,

a new hat...

Wenceslas, tell me...

who bought the bronze?

The great parfumier,

Cesar Crevel.

Completely unexpected. Stidmann

had just opened the shop...

when the magnificent milord

pulled up...

six matching grays

with the parfumier himself.

He's the richest man in Paris,

you know.

With his mistress.

Perhaps he's furnishing

an apartment for her.

Wenceslas,

I've never seen you so giddy.

Come. Sit beside me

for a moment. Hold my hand.

Now tell me about your success

all over again.

I have to go. Crevel wants

the piece delivered immediately.

Immediately.

WENCESLAS:
I must be frank

with you, Monsieur le Baron.

Things haven't been easy

for me here in Paris,

a foreigner, an orphan.

In other words,

you're penniless.

We all are.

I hardly know a count

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