Coyote Ugly Page #3

Sorry I asked.

I.D., please.

Oh. I'm supposed to|start work here tonight.

Go ahead. Hey, you picked|a good night to start.

- It's a little slow right now,|but it should pick up. - Okay.

Baby, come on get it on

with a radar phone -

Like a video vamp

Can I be your man

Is this a church meeting|or is this a bar? Make some noise!

Come on

Take a bottle

Shake it up

Break the bubble

Break it up

Pour some sugar on me

Ooh, in the name of love

Poor some sugar on me

Come on, fire me up

- Pour your sugar on me I'm sorry. Sorry!

- I don't think so.|- Just in time.

- Where you goin'?|- Uh, I was-- I was looking for you.

Good. Let's go.

light, greenlight, go

in a one-man show

rhythm of love

- Really love your top.|- Thanks.

Loosen up, uh, loosen up

squeeze a little tease a little more

Okay. Hair.

- Let's see your moves.

That's Rachel.|You can learn a lot from her.

She just cut some guy's|ponytail off.

Yeah. The court ordered her|to take anger management classes...

after she pummeled a customer|for grabbin' her ass.

- He pressed charges. I gave her a raise. Cheers.

Pour some sugar on me

- There is only two rules, okay?|What do you want? - Two beers.

- Don't date the customers.|- Okay.

Second, don't ever bring|your boyfriends into my bar.

As of this moment|you are to appear available, but never be available.

Break my rules,|I fire you on the spot.

- I-- I understand.|- Jesus.

Hey! Hey, everybody!

Shut up!

I'd like you to meet|my new girl...

- whose name is--|- Violet.

Jersey.

- Jersey is an ex-kindergarten teacher...

and a former nun who just escaped|from the convent...

and is tired of being the only virgin|in New York City.

Would anyone like|to buy her a drink? Whoa!

- Come on, move! I'm workin' here.|- Sorry.

- Four margaritas with salt.|- All right.

Got tequila.|No mix, no salt, no blender.

- Okay, how about a black Russian?|- Got vodka, no Kahlua.

- White wine.|- Never carry the stuff.

- So basically you have--|- Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black and Jos.

All my favorite men.|You can have it anyway you like, as long as it's in a shot glass.

Okay, I'll take a beer.

- Four dollars.|- I'm Cammie, the Russian tease.

Violet, the Jersey nun.

That one's Rachel,|the New York b*tch.

We all play our little parts,|only Rachel really is a b*tch.

And I really am a tease.

Cammie, you can only be a tease|if you stop sleepin' around, babe.

Yeah. I keep forgetting that part.

I'll have a shot of tequila, and don't|forget one for your pretty little self.

Oh, thanks, but ever since|I got really drunk on tequila, I never drink the stuff anymore.

Hey, Lil! Your new girl's refusing|your good booze.

No! I was-- I was suggesting|this gentleman buy me a double.

That's more like it.

- Whoa!|- I need eight shots.

Four Canadian, four South|of the Border, six-pack MGD and a double-blended back.

- You want eight shots of what?|- I got it.

Forty-six even, honey.

Hey, Lil! Yo!

Your Jersey girl|can't quite keep up.

Hey, gimme|a Scotch and water.

- Okay, you got it.|- Lil, do we serve water with our whiskey?

Only water I serve's got|barley and hops in it!

Hey, everybody!|Do we serve water in this bar?

Hell, no. H2O! Hell, no. H2O!

Hell no, H2O!

Sink or swim time,Jersey.|Get up there!

of the rising sun

I can't do that dance.

Granny, does your dog bite|No, child, no

Okay.

- Here's some cash.|You did okay for a nun. - You're firing me?

I told you this was an audition.

Thanks for comin' in.|Now, get outta here.

Devil, just come on back if you ever wanna try again

you son of a b*tch, I'm the best there's ever been

Run, boy, run

of the risin' sun

Please!

pickin' out dough - Hey!

Guys, guys, back off,|back off!.

Look, the way I see it,|you got two choices.

You can start a fight here,|throw some punches, get a bloody nose, make fools of yourselves,

or you can take this ten bucks|I got right here...

and buy these two pretty ladies|a round at the bar.

- Come on. What do you say?|- Let's go to the bar!

Party!

- Hold it, Jersey. I'm just dyin' to know where that came from.

Try serving a beer and pizza|on Monday nights when the Giants play the Cowboys in November.

I'm giving you|a second audition.

There's a store at the corner|of Sixth and Hill. Be there at noon tomorrow.

I'm sending my fashion coordinator there|to take you shopping.

Now go home|before I change my mind.

Hey, and Jersey. I'd be shocked|if you survive another night.

No, child, no

Here we go!

And left, and right,|clog, clog, clog.

Oh, yeah!

So, uh, tell me more|about this bar.

- What kind of place is it?|- I don't know. It's just a bar, Dad.

It's no big deal.|What are you eating?

One of those Lean Cuisine meals.|Rice and vegetables. Delicious.

- Oh! See, they're good. Right?|- Mmm. Yum.

So, well, what's going on|with your songwriting?

Songwriting. Oh!|He still has my tape.

Dance, dance, dance

Dance

I want my tape.

- I had a feeling you'd be back to see me.

- No dates in the kitchen, O'Donnell.|- I'm not staying.

I-- I just want my tape.

Please.

- Thanks. Bye.|- Did you really write all those songs?

You listened to my tape?

No, of course not.|I mean, that would be invasion of privacy.

of love

Go ahead, laugh it up.|'Cause there's nothing you can say that's gonna bother me.

I'm just trying to tell you|I like your music.

I mean, do you always|take compliments so well?

- I gotta go.|- Wait! Uh--

I wanna see you again.|Where are you workin'?

- I'm a Coyote.|- - Good.

- And what the hell is that?|- If you want to see me again, you'll figure it out.

That good? Uh-huh.

Sorty I'm late.|Al and I had a big fight.

And then we made up. Twice.

You're the fashion coordinator?

Lil told me to get you something|that would make the kiddies drool.

Trust me, Violet.

I have a serious|shopping problem.

- It has a zipper... in the crotch.|- Yeah.

Who'd wear that in public?

You're unbelievable

Oh

with your problems

By telling me more than mine

I'm always so concerned

you always have to stop

To think of us being one

Is more than I ever know

The things you say

You're unbelievable

Oh

Forgive me, Father,|for I have sinned.

Don't mean you can ask us

You're unbelievable, oh

Here I am! Yeah, baby!

You're unbelievable

Come on! Knock it--|Hey! Knock it off!.

Lil! The ice!

How do you like that, huh?

There's every good reason

I don't know how you guys do it.|I can't have another drink.

Next time that guy buys you a shot--|That's on me, honey.

Chase it with a beer.

- I don't get it.|- I don't swallow it.

I just spit the shot|back into the beer bottle. They'll never know.

You try it.

Hey,just keep an eye|on your spit to-on bottle.

Once Rachel served hers to Lou|by accident. Huge drama.

Cammie, I think I just fell|in love with you.

Oh, Violet!|I'm not a lesbian.

I've played in the minors,|but never went pro.

- Th-That's not what I meant.|- What are you doing?

Lil's starin' straight at you.|Come on. Grab this guy. Make yourself look busy.

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